Cockney Alphabet

This form of punning Comic or Cockney Alphabet was popular in the 1920s. Here is the most common version with some variations. It needs to be read aloud to capture the meaning.

A for 'orses; A for Gardner

B for mutton

C forth Highlanders; C for miles

D for dumb; D for mation; D for ential

E for brick; E for Peron

F for vescence; F for been had; F for lump

G for police

H for retirement; H for consent

I for Novello; I for lutin'; I for the girls; I for the engine

J for oranges ; J for nice time

K fer teria; K for restaurant

L for leather

M for sis

N for a penny; N for lope; N for a dig

O for the garden wall; O for the rainbow; O for the wings of a dove

P for a penny; P for ming fleas

Q for a bus; Q for a song

R for mo

S for you

T for two; T for gums

U for instance; U for me; U for mism

V for la France; V for la difference; V for Espana

W for a quid; W for the winnings

X for breakfast

Y for husband; Y for mistress; Y for crying out loud

Z for breezes

More information on this topic may be found in 'Comic Alphabets' by Eric Partridge, first published in 1961