Monday, 5 March 2012

Mag 107 Fancy a drink?


  
Image copyright Sarolta Ban

 Fancy a drink?

All I did was ask her if she fancied coming out for a drink with me. The way she looked at me, eyes blazing, you’d have thought I’d asked her to sleep with me. I’m not saying the thought hadn’t crossed my mind – sleeping with her, I mean. She was a bit of all right, if you know what I mean, legs up to here and a beautiful figure, everything in the right place and just the right size – you catch my drift? Yeah, quite a looker but classy with it, you know, not your usual bit of crumpet. Real peachy she was but posh – cut-glass accent, lots of bling, nice clothes, skyscraper heels, the lot. Yeah, she was the real thing.
I’m not so bad myself. I mean, you wouldn’t throw me out of bed - that’s what my bird says and she should know. Been round the block a few times she has, but nice with it.

Anyway, this posh bint, she thought she was too good for the likes of me. ‘I bet she’s got some rich old buffer twisted round her little finger,’ I thought. I know the type, you see, bit like an upmarket car. Get a good chassis, tart it up and wait for an old bloke with more money than sense to come along.

I don’t take offence, me. There’s plenty more like her and more generous with it. I was curious, though. Women don’t usually knock me back quite as quickly as she did so I thought her bloke must be something really special. You could tell she was waiting for someone – she kept looking at her watch and turning this way and that to see if he was coming. She looked excited, sort of like she was in love. I thought that was a bit unlikely – women like her don’t have hearts, just safety vaults - so I hung around. She didn’t see me. Women like that, once they’ve rejected someone, they don’t see them any more.

Suddenly her face lit up in a smile - fantastic teeth, all white and even, and she looked happy, radiant even. I looked to see what her bloke was like – maybe I could pick up some pointers (modesty forbids I should say I don’t need any help in that field.)

Well! That’s all I can say. Hurrying towards her was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Sisters? Best friends? I don’t think so. I sighed. ‘What a waste,’ I thought. ‘Still, whatever butters your bread. No wonder she looked down her nose at me. I’m as much use to her as a bird cage is to a butterfly.’

I went home to my girl-friend. She’ll never turn me down.

To read more Mags click here. Thanks to Tess for the prompt.

27 comments:

  1. to each their own for sure...a bit humbling on him as well...which we all need sometimes...and serves him right anyway you know...too bad the girl friend cant read minds...smiles.

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  2. Enjoy your writing. Nothing like a story, for us Yanks, of a posh bint. :-)

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  3. good story - whatever butters your bread :)

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  4. o my! that was fun. poor guy, better luck next time. or should i say, stick with the current girlfriend!

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  5. His style of speech made me think of Sam Spade or Mike Hammer. Very good!

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  6. I enjoyed this tale. One reason especially: I LOVED reading all the British English expressions. "Bloke" and "blint" etc.

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  7. Ha ha-that told that chauvinist! Did you hear desert island discs on Sunday-there was a similar twist in the tale of the most interesting woman on there-whose name escapes me-but it is worth a listen if you missed it.

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  8. Cant tell a book by it's cover, eh? Nice one! :)

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  9. Have to admit I saw this one coming, but I sure enjoyed getting there. Your style is fun to read.

    =)

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  10. Janice you write a good tale, always enjoyable.

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  11. Enjoyed this tale! You write good!

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  12. haha what a twist! I love the way you've used language here. I couldn't wait to read the next word every second! :)

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  13. Good bit of writing this! Thank you for sharing it...

    Wander

    http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com

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  14. Nice twist - but does he deserve the girlfriend of whom he is so sure?

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  15. Ages since I heard "bint". Thanks for reviving it! Great tale, well told.

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  16. Oh, how the eyes can deceive... serves him right for being so shallow as to go by appearance only...

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  17. Ha...he had it coming didn't he...

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  18. http://vatinam.blogspot.com
    Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving comments
    Wish you a good day and full of joy...

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  19. Loved this! I could really get a sense of his personality.

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  20. Oh!I just love this one!Hilarious!Serves him right,I must say.

    It's so nice to read you again after so long. Lovely header picture u got there.

    Yeah, u r right. It felt good to be able to sit at home without all the tensions of the past few weeks.I haven't gotten round to right about all that has been going on but well, will try to in the coming days.
    Have a great weekend

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  21. Again confirmed, men have a bad phantasy ;)

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  22. I am so glad a i live a happy, boring married life!!! I am so over this stuff!!

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  23. Good one!
    Bet his girlfriend would get a laugh out of that .... then she would pop him up the side of his face.

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  24. Interesting story. You did a great job with Voice for this fellow. He's well-characterized.

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  25. Interesting story. You did a great job with Voice for this fellow. He's well-characterized.

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