Worrying

 

Worrying

Arthur, trying to make sense of it all.

Our middle daughter lives in South London, not far from Crystal Palace. Early each morning she goes for a run with her dog, Arthur. This morning, she discovered something disturbing in the woods. She took photographs, but did not investigate closely and would not allow Arthur too near, either.

Instead, she called the police, for what she had found looked worryingly like a body. 

 A police car and an ambulance arrived on the scene and after a short while the authorities determined that the polythene wrapped ‘body’ had probably been deposited as a Hallowe’en prank.

The police officer who was the first to investigate agreed that it looked very suspicious. It is a shame that one person’s idea of a joke results in money being wasted on public resources, but such things must be examined.

Not long ago, the various parts of a dismembered body were found near this location, so police are aware and alert at all times. This time, fortunately, it was just a poor joke in bad taste.

999

 

999

999 is the UK emergency number. If we require the immediate assistance of police, fire or ambulance our trembling finger jabs that number. It is also the number to be called if help is needed from HM Coastguard, Mountain or Cave Rescue and also for Lowland Search and Rescue.

The Berkshire Lowland Search and Rescue team can sometimes be found training in one of our local woods. On one occasion, when we were returning from a walk, Bertie, our late very placid and gentlemanly Labrador suddenly stopped, stood stock still and barked ferociously at a bush several yards away. Sure enough, a volunteer was hiding in it, waiting to be ‘rescued’.

We count ourselves extremely fortunate that we have had little need to call the emergency services. Once we had to call the local fire brigade when our daughter’s car caught fire. 

Crowthorne is an on-call (retained) fire service that has always been crewed by local people. A retained firefighter is a trained professional who may have a full-time job without the fire service but responds to emergency calls in the area.

On the occasion of the car fire, Barry had just got home from the ‘village’, which is more of a small town, actually, where he had been chatting to one of the retained firemen in a local shop. The car caught fire, though I can’t remember how or why, and 999 was called. Among the fire crew who attended was the chap Barry had been talking to a few minutes before. It was quite funny, really, when we looked back on it.

Whenever Barry set off on a sailing trip he always made sure I knew where he was going and what times he would call me, as he always liked to contact me daily. It was a safety strategy, as he had no desire to sail off the edge of the world! He said, ‘If you don’t hear from me by . . . (whatever time it was) . . . call the Coastguard.’ This was in the days before mobile ‘phones and GPS when courses were plotted on charts. 

I didn’t think any more of it until the day I didn’t hear from him. Feeling a little apprehensive, I called 999 and a rather bored-sounding operator said, ‘Which service do you require?’ When I said, ‘Coastguard’ I could almost hear her sit up straight as her voice changed. We don’t live anywhere near the coast so I suppose it was surprising.

I explained the safety plan to the Coastguard and where Barry had been heading. He then asked me, ‘What colour is the yacht’s deck?’ I told him it was white. Most boats have white decks so I couldn’t see how that could help, but he was the expert and I was now rather worried. He said he’d call me back with any news. A couple of hours later he called to say, ‘We’ve found your wandering boy.’ I was mightily relieved.

 It turned out that the boat was outside St-Vaast-La-Hougue, in Normandy, north-western France, unable to get into the port because it was low tide and the lock gates were closed.

                         Images of St-Vaast-La-Hougue courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Gilbert the Good – feeling guilty

 

Gilbert the Good – feeling guilty

It wasn’t my fault, not really. We were having fun near the big pond in the forest when I saw two dogs coming towards me and raced to greet them.

Unfortunately, I tripped Barry up and he flew gracefully through the air and landed headfirst. He tried to stand up but he felt woozy and had to lie down in a mosquito nest in a ditch. I mean, he didn’t choose to lie in a mosquito nest – it just happened to be there.

He couldn’t stand up without falling over so an ambulance came. The ambulance people checked all his vital signs and found them suitably vital but decided he should go to hospital as he had banged his head. Meanwhile, James came to take Roxy and me home. 

Then Gareth, Susannah’s brother, arrived to help.

When the doctor said Barry could be discharged, Susannah and Gareth suggested that it might be better to wait until he could stand up without feeling dizzy and sick and needing to sit down again. So, he stayed in hospital.

The next day he came home and we were ever so pleased to see him. Nothing was broken and it was just his brain that had been shaken about like a jelly. He slept a lot at first, but now he’s tickety-boo.

Susannah’s sisters, Bethan and Gillian, came on different days to satisfy themselves he was okay.

This all happened almost six weeks ago.  Susannah has been taking Roxy and me out every morning but now Barry’s head is fine and Janice’s knee is much better so they are walking us again and everything is back to normal . . . but I still feel a bit guilty.

TTFN

Gilbert

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your concern, Minister

As we contemplate, or, rather, continue (another) winter of discontent, with strikes all around, one of our Health Ministers (*how many are there?) has uttered some sage advice, before a proposed ambulance strike scheduled for tomorrow, 21^st December. 

On television he said, “Where people are planning any risky activity, I would strongly encourage them not to not to do so because there will be disruption on the day.”

He didn’t specify what sorts of risky activities should be avoided.

Here’s my list:

1: Home decorating should be avoided. Ladders are dangerous and paint pots are heavy. A fall from one or a blow from the other if it is dropped from a height could be very injurious.

2: DIY is a hazardous exercise at the best of times. Saws, hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches, pliers all have the capacity to inflict pain and/or serious injury.

3: Gardening is not something to be undertaken in December in the UK, even on a beautiful, sunny day like today. The ground is soggy from recent heavy rain, leading to the possibility of a nasty slip and potential broken bones. Secateurs should not be used, though there is a balance to be struck between carving one’s fingers or being blinded by stray creepers, or possibly being tripped by low-growing vines.

4: Driving cars is always dangerous. Avoid!

5: Shopping should not be undertaken unless mandatory. (Online shopping is probably okay, but see below re: computers, lap tops, tablets) Shopping in person is best avoided. Think of the hazards:-

 a: travelling to the shopping area – driving: see #4 above

                                                        public transport: sitting or standing cheek by jowl, breathing in who knows what from fellow passengers, or infection by accidental contact with fellow travellers

b: entering and leaving shops – constant changes in temperature, leading to chills  which could escalate to pneumonia

                                                    mingling with crowds, or, more precisely, being barged with shopping trolleys or jostled by overwrought seekers after the perfect gift

c: carrying overloaded, heavy bags and awkwardly-shaped parcels. The dangers here are twofold, possibly threefold – 

                                                          i: pulling a muscle or several

                                                          ii: tripping over because unable to see

                                                          iii: hysteria/panic attack brought on by overtiredness, despite repeating, ‘It’s only one day, it’s only one day’

6: Taking an afternoon nap because it’s well-deserved – probability of falling off the bed because of disorientation or sheer exhaustion, resulting in concussion and/or broken limbs

7: Use of computer or similar: risk of dowager hump development, carpal tunnel syndrome, headache, neck ache, backache, eye strain, electrocution from drink spilled on electrical device/s

8: Cats/dogs/small children – all of these are trip hazards. Ignore at your peril.

9: Food preparation – sharp knives, hot ovens, boiling liquids. Make the decision to eat cold finger foods and drinks

All of this may seem very silly, but there are people in the world who will call an ambulance for many inane, insane reasons. It is incumbent upon sensible citizens to take responsibility for reducing risk and therefore limiting the requirement for ambulances.

Have a lovely Christmas, everyone!

* “As of October 2022 there are 6 ministerial posts at the DHSC (Department of Health and Social Care), including: the Secretary of State, two Ministers of State, and three Parliamentary Under-Secretaries of State.”