It passed me by

 

It passed me by

I came across an expression I’ve never heard before; this is not in itself unusual, but, since it’s been in use since the 1970s, I’m surprised not to have encountered it. Perhaps it’s because I’m neither Scottish nor Irish. Maybe some of you are familiar with it and possibly even have used it.

‘Has the cat died?’ or ‘Is your cat deid?’ are Scottish or Irish expressions used to mock someone wearing trousers that are too short, that is, well above the ankle.

‘Half-mast parallels’ is a phrase which amused me, and is another with which I’m unfamiliar. It refers to short, narrow trousers. Maybe they are considered to be at ‘half-mast,’ like flags that are lowered in mourning.

Another suggestion is that a person might raise their trouser legs to stop mice running up them, because the cats, being ‘deid,’ were not available to dispatch them.

A further explanation is that poor people could not afford to buy black arm bands, which were worn as a sign of mourning, so cut off the ends of old trousers.

Incidentally, when I was growing up, in the Dark Ages, it was not uncommon to see people, usually men, wearing black arm bands. The last time I saw anyone wearing them was at the late Queen’s funeral, when many of the attendant participants wore black bands on their left arms.  

It’s summer time!

 

It’s summer time!

I

Ice-cream van by the River Ouse, York

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

 I know it must be because I’ve just heard an ice-cream van chiming its melodious siren song.

I’m amazed that ice-cream van owners and drivers still exist. Anyone can buy ice lollies and ice-cream at shopping outlets large or small, and yet, every year, like returning swallows and chiffchaffs, out trundle the clunky-looking vans, with their improbable names.

Sir Whippy, Mr Softee, and others are heard long before they appear. Do children still urge their parents to let them rush to the van with coins in their hot, little hands to buy a Flake or a Nobbly Bobbly, or even a slightly dull ice lolly?

Have parents become canny enough to trick their children? Do they tell them the jingle only plays when the van is empty of ice-cream confections? Perhaps they say it’s a warning to steer clear of strangers.

Ice-cream trucks are often hired for events like school fêtes, sporting events, children’s parties, wedding receptions. I wonder, though, how much demand there is ‘out of season.’

Ice-cream tricycles or bicycles are less commonly seen, but for someone wanting to set up in business, they can be an affordable option, starting at around £2,000. A second-hand van, properly equipped, will cost around £40,000 and a new one easily £20,000 more.

Underneath the arches, again

 

Underneath the arches, again

We have a winding path with three arches in our back garden. The original metal arches were replaced a few years ago. Two years ago, the third arch, furthest from the house, collapsed under the weight of evergreen climbers. We, or rather, Barry, replaced it.

Yesterday, there was an ominous crack as Barry attempted to straighten the sagging arch nearest the house and it slumped even further sideways. It hadn’t damaged the fence round the pond, fortunately, but it was beyond repair, so this morning it was removed. This wasn’t a task quickly accomplished, as the arch was supporting, or rather being supported by, a long-established rose, a vigorous evergreen honeysuckle and jasmine. The plants had to be stripped out first. They have been reduced to ground level and if they grow again, and they probably will, we shall keep them as shrubs if we can, which will be easier to control.

There was a robin singing extravagantly loudly as we worked, which was a delight. In the course of the work, we came across an empty bird’s nest. Any birds planning to use it again this spring will be sadly disappointed.

There is now a huge pile of branches waiting to be graunched into mulch. Over the years, our ground level has risen considerably, as we have added layers of mulch around the trees and shrubs.

Suddenly, the garden looks much bigger. Maybe we will reconsider the remaining arches and whether they, too, should be demolished. It would make garden maintenance easier and more straightforward, though possibly less interesting to the eye.

A note from Jellicoe

 

A note from Jellicoe

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for all your good wishes - you’re truly kind. I feel as though I’ve got friends all over the world.

I have had an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve met some really nice vets and nurses who made a great fuss of me, even though they shaved off so much of my fur and sliced lumps out of me.

I spent a few nights away from home, which was strange, and quite lonely, because I’m used to cuddling up with the dogs and The THINKER and The MAID. I wasn’t feeling very well, though, so it was as well that I was sleeping on my own in a nice secure kennel. I even had to spend some time in an oxygen tent because I was having difficulty breathing, and everyone was worried about me.

Soon, I was well enough to go home, but I couldn’t see out of my eye- the one below where the lump and the lymph node were taken out – as it was very swollen. I really looked a terrible mess. The THINKER and the MAID took photographs of me, but they haven’t shown them to anyone because they’re not nice. 

I had a tube in my neck, which seemed odd. I had to have that because the nice vets had taken some tissue from my mouth to build up my eye-lid, so my mouth was sore. I was wearing a soft collar round my neck to keep the tube in place, and a collar of shame to stop me scratching and licking where I shouldn’t. The THINKER and the MAID had to feed me through the tube, and it took forever, especially the first time.

After a few days, I went back to the hospital to have the tube removed. The nice vets and nurses were very pleased with me. It was so good to be able to eat properly again. I had lost quite a lot of weight, so I had to and see Selene-the-Vet. She was rather shocked when she saw me as I wasn’t my usual handsome self. My glucose curve had to be checked and now I’m back to my normal insulin dose.

I still don’t look very lovely, but the swellings are all going down and I can see out of my eye now. I look more like a cat than a battered old football, and my fur is growing back quickly. Next week I have to go back to have my stitches out.

The MAID and The THINKER discussed whether they had done the right thing in letting me have an operation, but agreed that the alternative, of letting the cancer take its course, would have been far worse. They took the advice of Selene-the-Vet first of all, and then the recommendation of the nice vets at the hospital.

I’m just glad to be home, where I belong.

(The MAID speaks: you can learn more about why we’re called The MAID and The THINKER in this blog post.)

AWOL

 

AWOL

Acronyms are sometimes misleading, but often amusing.

I’m not really AWOL, that is, ‘absent without leave,’ because AFAIK (as far as I know) I don’t need any BYL (by your leave) to post on my own blog.

IMHO (in my humble opinion) it’s usually advisable to follow the advice to KISS (keep it simple, stupid) and not release TMI (too much information)

 IDK (I don’t know) how many people are subject to FOMO (fear of missing out) and TBH (to be honest), FYI (for your information) it’s NOMB (none of my business)

 LMK (let me know) if you have any favourite acronyms or if you regard them as a waste of time and effort (WOTAE)

Making up my own, now (MUMO) so it’s time to go (TTG)

TTFN (ta-ta for now)

Groceries

 

Groceries

The groceries arrived this morning in good time, with no substitutions.

However, as the bags were handed to me, I noticed milk swirling around in a couple of them. I commented on it to the delivery driver and he explained that milk had leaked from someone else’s order.

Before putting the items away, I had to wipe away the milk. In a couple of cases, it had found its way inside containers so that the fruit or vegetables in them had to be washed immediately. That was not a big problem, or even a little one, but it was annoying. 

Milk is not a contaminant, so I’m not concerned about ill effects.

All in all, I’ll write it off to experience. Accidents happen.

I’m all right, Jack

 

I’m all right, Jack

            Royal Coat of Arms over the Main Gate of Chatham Dockyard

    Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Kent is the Garden of England (and Chatham is the dustbin in it!)

 I was brought up in the Medway Towns (now known as Medway) in Kent at a time when the Army and Royal Navy, including the Royal Navy Dockyard, were significant employers in the local community.

Chatham, often pronounced Cha’am (glottal stops are common in Medway) was a colourful society, stuffed with public houses after the end of the Second World War, because of the great density of workmen. There were between 200 and 280 pubs in the Chatham area.

It was, and still is, home to the Corps of Royal Engineers, and was an important Naval port. Therefore, many of the expressions familiar to me stem from that background, many military, and many more Naval.

Some phrases were blunt to the point of obscenity, but had usually acquired a semblance of gentility by the time they were adopted by the wider populace. Thus, ‘I’m all right, Jack,’ originating from the Royal Navy in the nineteenth century, was usually prefaced with a profanity, which was lost with time and usage.

It’s believed to stem from matelots (Royal Navy sailors) when the last person climbing the ladder up the side of a ship would say, on reaching the deck, ‘Pull up the ladder, Jack, I’m all right.’ In time, this was reversed to become, ‘I’m all right, Jack,’ sometimes followed by ‘Pull up the ladder.’

Out of context, it came to signify a selfish, smug attitude, with scant regard for the well-being of others.

I have only heard it used in jest.

 It was also the title of a 1959 comedy, about industrial life and strife in the 1950s, starring Peter Sellers, Terry-Thomas, Ian Carmichael, Irene Handl, and others.