Sometimes

 

Sometimes

                 ‘Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.’

In the evening, after the heat of the day has abated, Herschel trots into the garden and sits on an old wooden chair and gazes at the world. He seems half-asleep, but woe betide any little creature that catches his eye.

As soon as we call ‘Cats, cats, cats!’ he strolls in leisurely fashion along the garden path and then sits on the step outside the open patio door, waiting to be enticed in with ‘Treats?’

Meanwhile, Jellicoe sits on the bridge over the pond and is usually very quick to abandon his post and return indoors. Last evening, however, although he was discussing it with us, he refused to budge until he was offered some freshly cooked chicken and then he was in like a bolt from a gun.

‘Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits’ has been attributed to Winnie-the-Pooh and it suits his personality, but it was not coined by A.A. Milne. 

William Gunning King (1859-1940), the British cartoonist, had a similar caption on a cartoon in Punch on 24th October 1906. The cartoon showed an old countryman and a vicar's wife. She asked him how he passed the time now he couldn't get about and the man replied with, 'Well, mum, sometimes I sits and thinks and then again I just sits.'

‘Punch, or The London Charivari’ was a British magazine of humour and political satire, which was published weekly almost continuously from 1841 to 2002. The Mr Punch puppet from Punch and Judy, was chosen as the magazine’s mascot.

William Gunning King was a painter and illustrator and was described as ‘a vigorous illustrator of rural life.’ He was commissioned to produce a painting to be used as an advertisement for ‘Bibby’s Animal Feed Company’ in Liverpool (now Bibby Agriculture).

Cattle feed advertisement for J. Bibby and Sons

 The company management claimed, ‘Nobody had a better eye for a cow than Gunning King,’ but Gunning King also painted other farm animals and rural farming scenes.

In a period of thirty years, to earn a living, he painted about 300 pictures for Bibby’s, who were one of Gunning King’s many patrons.

In 1905 he began submitting work to Punch. The following cartoon from 11^th November 1914, has the captions:

Cyclist to shopkeeper: “Many recruits gone from this village?”

Shopkeeper to cyclist: “No, Sir.”

Cyclist to shopkeeper: “Oh, why’s that?”

Shopkeeper to cyclist: “Well, Sir, after going carefully into the matter, we, in this neighbourhood, decided to remain absolutely neutral.”

 (That reminded me of the ‘nuclear-free zone’ in London in the 1980s.)

The First World War (The Great War) started on 28^th July 1914 and continued until 11^th November 1918.

Common sense at last

 

Common sense at last

The headlines this morning gave me hope that someone with common sense is leading the country. Andy Burnham, our new Prime Minister, has declared that he will put practical education on a par with academia. Perhaps now we will stop encouraging all and sundry to go to university whether or not they have the aptitude. Perhaps now we will begin to value the artisans, without whom, for example, houses would not be built and maintained.

An afternoon in the garden

 

An afternoon in the garden

We visited Gareth and Nina and their family on Saturday. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen all of them together. Susannah drove us there, which was very nice of her.

The ‘children’ are all currently living at home, with plans to move out to live in London, where the three of them work, with friends. Everything in London is so expensive, and they know they will have to part with a lot of their hard-earned salaries each month.

It was so nice for Frankie (13) to see his cousins, (27, 25 and 23) He’s had a rough couple of years with many changes, and it was good for him to be greeted and treated as an individual in his own right and not be judged or criticised. He had a wonderful time in their company and they each had something different to offer him.

It was a warm, sunny afternoon and we sat under an enormous adjustable parasol, which has integral lights and sound. We didn’t need the lights, of course, but it was pleasant to listen to different people’s play lists.

Gareth loves preparing and cooking food, so we dined very well, with Nina’s delicious salads accompanying homemade burgers and sausages. The pavlova proved a step too far for most of us, sadly. It looked delicious!

I discovered that Elliot cannot burp. It was not a subject I introduced freely, but he asked me if I still wrote blogs, so I told him about the recent one. He suffers from abelchia and often has to lie flat on his back to relieve the discomfort. This leads to some interesting conversations when he’s out, as strangers offer sympathy - ‘Had a bit too much, mate?’ It cuts short some of his evenings as he is obliged to return home.

It was soon time for us to take our leave. Eve and Louis were planning to go out for the evening and were trying to persuade Elliot to join them. They asked us what we would be doing for the rest of the day. One event a day is quite sufficient for us . . .

Today, Susannah and Frankie, Arthur and the three cats have returned to London. We shall see them again soon. It was very pleasant to have them here for a week.

It feels quiet here now. The dogs and cats are flaked out. We shall go to bed early. The heat is building up again, so early morning walks will be the order of the day once more.

 

Strictly Forbidden

The boys were urging him on. He was delighted to have been allowed to accompany them. Usually, he was relegated to the edges of the group, not a member, just an envious onlooker, longing to be as sophisticated and knowledgeable as them. He laughed at their jokes, not always understanding them, and sometimes wondering if he was the butt of them.

He was younger than them, but they had been friendlier to him in recent weeks, treating him almost as an equal and he was flattered by their interest.

They yelled to him again. What could go wrong? He had watched them a million times before from a distance, admiring their grace and athleticism. It was a kind of initiation ceremony, though no-one had ever called it that, but he knew he would be judged by his response to their exhortations. 

He chewed his lip. For so long he had wanted to be acknowledged and now was his opportunity to prove himself, to show them that he was at least as courageous as them.  

Imagination was his enemy. His head ached as he tussled with all the doubts and fears that assailed him. Words of warning tolled in his head and he pushed them aside. All he had to do was think of nothing and then it would be easy.

His pulse sounded in his ears, his veins felt too weak to contain his wildly pounding blood. Could they see his panic? Was it true that fear could be smelt?

Rivulets of sweat slid down his back, his hands were clammy and cold despite the heat of the day, and his legs trembled.

The boys were growing impatient. They were tiring of encouraging him and were beginning to jeer. He knew it was a tactic to spur him on, to make the adrenaline pump. He must commit himself or they would never bother with him again. 

He took a deep breath and jumped. His stomach lurched and he screamed as the water seemed to rush towards him. The shock of the cold sea made him gasp as he plummeted under the surface.

When, after a few seconds, he had not surfaced, the boys became uneasy, muttering to each other, wondering what they should do. One attempted to dive in but the others restrained him. Another boy rummaged in the piles of clothes on the sea wall and grabbed his mobile ‘phone. His fingers fumbled on the keys but at last he punched in 999.

It was difficult for the operator to make sense of the words the caller sobbed out. Soon afterwards ambulance and police appeared at the scene. His older brother, one of the gang members, was pale and incoherent with grief. 

Now, too late, he and his friends understood only too clearly why it was strictly forbidden to jump from the sea wall.                 

Burping

 

Burping

Elsie from River, wondered whether other animals can burp.

Most mammals are able to burp. Dogs burp more often than cats because they tend to gulp their food, swallowing air in the process, whereas cats eat more slowly and carefully. Animals whose stomachs have more than one chamber, like sheep, camels, and other ruminants, belch frequently to rid their bodies of the methane gas produced from the fermentation of food in their digestive systems.

Cows are renowned for the methane they emit. This is due to the corn and soy they are fed, which they cannot process efficiently. Some farmers alleviate that by feeding alfalfa and flaxseed which are similar to the grasses cows would have eaten before they were domesticated.

Our fellow primates, the chimpanzees, orangutans, and so forth, also belch, just like us. Gorillas produce great rumbling burps, which indicate gratification when they are eating delectable food.

Some marine mammals, like orcas and sea lions, also belch.

Among reptiles, crocodiles and alligators take in a lot of air with their prey, releasing it later in foul-smelling emissions. Similarly, large carnivorous lizards, like Komodo Dragons, will often burp after swallowing a whole egg or something similar.

There are some mammals which are physiologically incapable of belching or vomiting. Rodents, including mice, rats, squirrels and beavers are unable to burp. Sloths, rabbits, and horses also cannot burp or vomit. The gas that these animals produce is released as flatulence.

Burping and belching are two names for the same thing. The technical term is eructation.

 One of the two main causes of burping is swallowing air while eating or drinking. Some of that cannot be easily avoided, but it can be reduced by eating (or drinking) more slowly. Talking while eating and drinking through a straw will increase air intake. Chewing gum, smoking and loose dentures also add to the problem.

The second major culprit is the type of food or drink ingested. Carbonated drinks contain dissolved carbon dioxide that bubble in the stomach. These drinks include beer, and sparkling water, and what my nieces and nephew used to call ‘pop.’

High-fibre foods like pulses, onions, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts release gas as they are digested.

Some unfortunate people are unable to belch. This disorder is called abelchia – lovely name! – and was first identified in 1987. It causes great distress, with symptoms like bloating, flatulence, and chest discomfort. It is treated with Botulinum toxin (Botox) which relaxes the muscle inhibiting belching. One injection usually solves the problem permanently.

Burping in company may or may not be acceptable, depending on the circumstances and the culture. In Japan burping while eating is poor etiquette, while China and some middle eastern countries see it as complimentary to the chef. In the majority of Western societies, it is considered crude to belch in public. Sometimes it is unavoidable, and then most people quietly apologise.  

Of course, babies are encouraged to burp, and that is always acceptable and usually greeted with relief by parents and carers.

Feasting

 

Feasting

I do not usually fall victim to insect bites, but this summer seems to have made me more susceptible. Something small and insistent has been feasting on my arm. I have not seen it, but it has set up an almost irresistible itching.

When an insect bites, its saliva enters the skin. The saliva contains anti-coagulants to make it easier for the insect to feed on blood. The body recognises invasive allergens and releases histamine, which allows more white blood cells to come to the area to flush out the insect’s saliva. The increased fluid causes the swelling and redness and sends distress messages to the brain.

 Although scratching provides immediate relief, it activates the release of more histamine, causing even more frantic itching.

E45 Itch Relief Cream gave some slight relief, but in desperation I tried ‘bite away®’ which is described as a ‘chemical-free heat pen.’ Its purpose is to neutralise the venom by applying heat to the affected area and stop itching. Three seconds of 51º heat for children aged three or older or those with sensitive skin activates a response in the body which helps to reduce the release of histamine, stopping itching and swelling.

I quote from the information: ‘It was demonstrated in a clinical study with mosquitoes that bite away® can provide long-lasting relief from itching in as little as one minute.’

I cannot say it has had a significant impact on my bites. The swellings are impressive! If that's all I ever have to contend with, I shall not complain (much!)

I think a cold compress will be the next thing to try.

Mice can’t burp

 

Mice can’t burp

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Those of a delicate disposition may wish to skip this blog post.

In case you were wondering, mice can neither burp nor vomit.

The following story may be apocryphal but has some basis in fact.

Someone discovered that she had a mouse in her car and naturally she wanted to evict it. She tried traps humane and inhumane and the mouse escaped. She tried laying a trail of tasty treats out and away from the vehicle, but the mouse showed no interest.

Someone told her of a method which had worked for them in their garden shed. It involved a bowl of Coca-Cola. The mouse drank from the bowl, filled up with gas and was unable to relieve the pressure. It went outside for fresh air and exploded.

It may have been a method that was tried, but there is no data to support the story of an exploding mouse. Mice will drink Coca-Cola (other carbonated drinks are available) and may indeed become uncomfortable with stomach ache, but they will not explode.

 Baking soda is sometimes mixed with a tasty bait, like peanut butter, to make a homemade rodenticide. The soda reacts with the hydrochloric acid in the mouse’s second stomach** (the first is used for food storage, rather like a larder!) and creates carbon dioxide which builds up. The pressure created causes internal bleeding or organ failure, and eventually death, after several days. It is an inhumane way to deal with a problem.

However, if it were to be acceptable, maybe Coca-Cola could update its iconic advertisement and song:

Mouse Coke - it’s the real thing to solve your vermin problem!

I’d like to teach the mice to drink

A bowl of Coke for me,

I’d like to seem them try to burp,

Exploding messily.

 

It’s the cruel thing!

**Clarification: Mice don't have two stomachs, but rather one stomach divided into two distinct regions - a fore-stomach, and a glandular region for chemical digestion.

Swine flu

 

Swine flu

                                    Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Looking back to 2009 to see what was happening then, I read that Barry had had a routine blood test. When he ‘phoned the surgery for the results, he was told that the laboratory had lost them, so he was asked to give another sample.

He duly presented himself early one morning for a fasting blood test. He noticed that the nurse appeared to have drawn less blood than previously but said nothing. A matter of days later, the surgery ‘phoned, full of apologies, because not enough blood had been siphoned off for all the necessary tests to be conducted. They asked if it would be possible for him to attend the next morning.

Barry demurred, explaining that he had been feeling unwell for a couple of days. The receptionist asked him to describe his symptoms and then advised him to contact the NHS help line. After a short conversation, he was told that he had swine flu, to remain in bed, take paracetamol and drink plenty of fluids. Telephone consultations and subsequent diagnoses are not always successful!

Swine flu is usually contracted by pig farm workers and vets and is rarely passed between humans. It cannot be contracted through eating pork. Barry had never had any contact with pigs.  

How he came to contract swine flu, if he did, and I have my doubts, is a subject for much mirth. There was a swine flu pandemic in 2009 caused by the H1N1 strain which is now a normal seasonal flu that circulates in humans every winter.

The symptoms for swine flu are very easily mistaken for other strains of flu as they are almost identical. They all cause fever, cough, sore throat, headache, aching limbs and fatigue.

Flu can persist for ten to fourteen days and there is a lot of ‘gastro-intestinal disturbance’ with it, which is a feature of swine flu.

Happy days! I’m very careful not to call him a pig – at least, not too often.

 

 

Gatekeeper

 

Gatekeeper

 Gatekeeper or Hedge Brown (Pyronia tithonus) on oregano

July 2025

                               July 2026

We have seen many Gatekeeper or Hedge Brown (Pyronia tithonus) butterflies in recent days. They are called gatekeepers because they are often found in meadow edges, hedgerows, and field gateways where wildflowers grow. They are very common and widespread in Southern England and are on the wing from July to August.

Cultivated yarrow comes in a range of colours. 

Wild yarrow (Achillea) is white or cream

Gatekeepers are often confused with the Meadow Brown (Maniola jurtina) but are a brighter orange and have two white ‘pupils’ in the black eye spot on their wings. Meadow Browns also have a black eye spot but with only one white spot on it. They can be seen from June to September, and I was pleased to see one in the garden alongside the busy gatekeepers. They were attracted to the buddleja and the yarrow (Achillea)

 Meadow Brown (Maniola jurtina)  July 2026

      Meadow Brown (Maniola jurtina) on hydrangea 

July 2025

Gatekeepers and Meadow Browns are brush-footed butterflies, or Nymphalidae, belonging to the ‘brown’ or Satyrinae sub-family. They are sometimes called ‘four-footed’ butterflies, because they appear to have only four legs. The first pair of legs are short and hairy and look like brushes, and so they rest on only four legs.

The name Satyrinae originates from the Greek Satyros. Satyrs were creatures of the woods, and the ‘browns’ are often seen in shaded woodland glades. They do not share the other characteristics of satyrs, however.

Peaceful

 

Peaceful

It is a very peaceful Sunday afternoon. An occasional light aircraft bustles across the sky and birds call sleepily. No children are giggling and playing in their gardens. Maybe they’ve all gone away, the school holidays having started on Friday. Even the ice-cream vendors are silent, their jangling jingles mercifully absent.

Saturday afternoon was a different matter altogether. A helicopter buzzed and clattered above the trees, describing circles high and then low. Around and around it went, for what felt like hours, never hovering.

We established that it was a police helicopter and wondered if it was searching for someone. As with most of these occurrences, it is unlikely that we shall ever learn why it was circling. Local social media has not shed any light on it, though lots of people have had a merry time making ‘humorous’ comments.

I’m glad it wasn’t an air ambulance. We usually discover the reasons for those, especially if they’ve landed in the local junior school playing field, as incidents are reported in the local press.

Today, however, the sun shines gently, a soft breeze blows, butterflies dance in the warm air, and all is well with the world.

Testing, testing

 

Testing, testing . . .

 . . . the pool water.

                    Pretty colours, but are they the correct colours?

Limericks

Limericks have five lines and a rhyming scheme of AABBA. The first two and the last lines have eight to ten syllables each and rhyme together. The middle two lines have five to seven syllables and rhyme with each other.

Limericks first appeared in the early 18^th century. They were frequently men’s obscene humorous drinking songs. Their contemporary equivalent would probably be bawdy rugby songs. (Other sports may be included!)

The following is an anonymous limerick which is not coarse:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical,

But the good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

The next one is also anonymous and fairly innocent:

The thoughts of the rabbit on sex

Are seldom, if ever, complex;

For a rabbit in need

Is a rabbit indeed.

And does just as a person expects.

They were popularised in the 19^th century by Edward Lear, though his limericks were not lewd and were written and illustrated to entertain children. It’s easy to assume that most of the limericks that are heard were composed by him. That is the mistake I made about the young lady who rode on the tiger. It led me to wonder when the first limericks were written.

It has been suggested that St Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) wrote the first one in Latin in the 13^th century, though it seems to be more of a prayer than a joke.

Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio

Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,

Caritatis et patientiae,

Humilitaris et obedientiae,

Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

It was translated approximately by Fred Hornaday (1973-present) as:

To circumvent brimstone and fire

Expelling unsav’ry desire

I piously pray

And devoutly obey

As my soul soars progressively higher.

James V. Schall, S.J. (1928-2019) was an American writer, philosopher, and teacher who wrote a limerick encapsulating the philosophy of Aquinas.

There once was a Jesuit knight

Who proved with his logic air-tight

That all of infinity’s

Touched by divinity

Starting with ‘Let there be light.’

This verse form was not known as limerick to Edward Lear. The name seems to derive from a parlour game played in Limerick in Ireland in which the refrain asks ‘Will (or won’t) you come up to Limerick?’

There is a plaque in Limerick, in County Limerick which says:

The Limerick is furtive and mean

You must keep her in close quarantine,

Or she sneaks up the slums

And promptly becomes

Disorderly drunk and obscene.

Writing limericks can be a lot of fun and there are many examples of different forms.

A H Reginald Buller (1874-1944) was a British Canadian botanist and mycologist who wrote the following famous scientific limerick called Relativity:

 There was a young lady named Bright,

Whose speed was far faster than light;

She set out one day,

In a relative way,

 And returned on the previous night.

Some writers set out to deliberately flout the ‘guidelines.’

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks never would scan,

And when they asked why,

He said, ‘I do try!

But when I get to the last line I try to fit in as many words as I can.’

Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) was an American writer and polymath, acclaimed as one of the finest writers of his day.

God’s plan made a hopeful beginning,

But man spoiled his chances by sinning.

We trust that the story

Will end in God’s glory,

But at present the other side’s winning.

To finish, here is a very clever limerick created by Leigh Mercer (1893-1977) a man who indulged in wordplay and puzzles.

 

 12 + 144 + 20 + 3√4/7 + (5 x 11) = 9²+ 0

It reads as follows:

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

Signs of darkening clouds?

 

Cumulus

We need rain.

One hibiscus flower (Hibiscus syriacus)

One lizard tail (Saururus cernuus)