I know it looks fun but PLEASE do not try this at home!
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- Glastonbury
- Glenn Miller
- Glenn Miller Orchestra
- glitches
- global interest
- global warming
- Gloucestershire
- go-karting
- goddesses
- going shopping
- gold
- goldfinch
- goldfinches
- goldfish
- golf
- good advice
- good dogs
- Good Fences Make Good Neighbours
- Good Friday
- Google Chrome
- Goons
- Gordon Brown
- Gordon of Khartoum
- Gordon Pasha
- gossamer
- Gothenburg
- government
- GPS
- GR4 Tornado
- graduation
- Grahamstown
- grammar
- Grand National
- grandchildren
- grandmama
- Grant Us Peace
- grape hyacinth
- grave
- gravitons
- gravity
- Great Britain
- Great Expectations
- Great Ormond Street
- Great Spotted Woodpecker
- great tit
- great tits
- Great War
- great-grandchildren
- greater spotted woodpecker
- Greek
- green
- green beans
- Green Day
- Green Ensign
- Green Woodpecker
- greenbottle
- Greenwich
- Gregorian calendar
- gremlin
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- grey February sky
- grey heron
- Grey Herons
- Grim Reaper
- groceries
- grouse
- growing up
- Grus grus
- guest
- Guildford Cathedral
- Guildhall
- guilds
- guinea fowl
- guitar
- gulls
- gundogs
- Gus
- guttering
- Guzmania
- gymnasium
- gymnastics
- H4H
- Habsburg
- haemorrhoids
- Haiku Friday
- haiku my heart friday
- hail
- hair
- hairdresser
- Hairy shield bug
- haka
- Hakuro Nishki
- Hallelujah chorus
- halloumi
- Hallowe'en
- Halloween
- Hampshire
- Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service
- hamster
- handbrake turns
- Handel
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- hangers
- Hannibal Lecter
- happiness
- hard-boiled
- Hardanger
- hares
- Harlequin Ladybird larva
- harness
- Harrods
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- Harry Lauder
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- harvest
- harvest festival
- Harvest Moon
- hats
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- Headley Court
- heads
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- Health MInister
- healthy heart
- hearse
- heart
- heat
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- heather
- Heathlake Nature Reserve
- Heathrow
- heatwave
- Heaven
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- hedgehogs
- Helen Keller
- hell
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- Henri le Chat
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- Henry VIII
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- herb robert
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- heron
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- Herschel
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- Hessians
- Hewlett-Packard
- hexagonal cells
- HFC emissions
- hide and seek
- Hideous Sandals
- hierarchy
- Highers
- hinges
- hippopotamus
- historical fiction
- Hitler
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- HMRC
- HMS Victory
- HMS Warrior
- HO scale
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- hog roast
- Hokey Cokey
- holidays
- Holly
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- Holly blue
- holly tree
- home
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- home brew
- Home Guard
- home-schooling
- homecoming
- homeopathy
- homesick
- homing pigeon
- hominids
- honesty
- honey bee
- honey bees
- honeycomb
- honeysuckle
- honeysuckle vine
- honky-tonk
- Hook
- hope
- Horned God
- hornet
- horse
- horse racing
- horses
- hospital
- hospital hazards
- hot water bottle
- hotmail
- houmous
- house
- house martin
- House of Commons
- House of Lords
- House of York
- house-training
- houttuynia 'Chameleon'
- hover-flies
- hoverflies
- hoverfly
- howlers
- HP
- Hubble
- Hughes Mearns
- Huguenots
- human fat
- human kindness
- humans
- Humboldt penguins
- Humming-bird Hawk-moth
- humour
- Hundred Years' War
- hunger
- Hunter's Moon
- hunting
- Hupeh province
- Hurricane
- husband
- hyacinth
- hyacinths
- Hyde Park memorial
- hydrangea
- hypericum
- hypothalamus
- I protest
- I Saw Sunday
- ice
- ice cream
- ice-cream
- ichneumon wasp
- Ichthus
- icicles
- identity theft
- idiocy
- idioms
- idiopathic epilepsy
- idle hands
- Ilex
- Ilex 'Golden King'
- illogicality
- illusion of non-movement
- illusions
- imaginary corner with real toads
- imaginary garden with real toads
- Imperial German Navy High Seas Fleet
- Imperial War Museum
- implosion
- In memoriam
- In Tandem
- in the forest in December 2009
- in this moment
- inboard engine
- incompetence
- inconvenience
- India
- India Tea Council
- Indian Mutiny
- Indian National Railway System
- individuality
- indolence
- Indore
- Indra Sinha
- Industrial Revolution
- industry
- inefficiency
- infants
- information
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- Ingrid
- initiation
- initiative
- injured service personnel
- injustice
- ink
- ink blot
- inner ear
- innumeracy
- insects
- insight
- Inspector Gadget
- Inspiring Words Week
- insulating
- insulin
- intelligence
- Internet Explorer
- internet shopping
- interview
- Intimacy
- Into the Void
- invasion
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- IOC
- iPod
- Iran
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- Ireland
- Irish
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- iron gall ink
- irritation
- Isambard
- Isambard. Solomon
- Isla
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- Israel
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- Italian cuisine
- Italian Spinone
- Italy
- Ivy
- Ixodiphagus hookeri
- izzard
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- Jackdaw
- jackdaws
- Jacob's Creek
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- Jains
- Jake
- jalopy
- jam
- jamboree
- James
- Jane Hartley May
- Jane Seymour
- Janice
- Janie
- jankers
- January 2010
- January 2010 full moon
- January 2010-
- Japan
- Japanese anemone
- Japanese Thimbleflower
- Japanese Windflower
- jasmine
- Jason deCaires Taylor
- jaws
- Jay
- jays
- Jellicoe
- jelly
- jelly fish
- Jenna
- Jenna. Frodo
- Jenny Joseph
- Jerusalem
- Jesus
- Jezreel's Folly
- Jezreel's Tower
- jigsaws
- jihad
- Jim Al-Kahlili
- Jimmy Carter
- jingoist
- Jinksy
- jive
- Joanna Southcott
- Joe Simpson
- joggers
- John
- John 'Babbacombe' Lee
- John Blashford-Snell
- John Masefield
- John Rowley
- John Smith's
- jokes
- Jolene Anderson
- Jonathan Agnew
- jonquil
- Joseph Samuel
- journal
- journalism
- journals
- judo
- Julie Felix
- Julie-the-Vet
- July
- July 15th
- July 2009
- July 2010
- June
- June 2009
- June morning
- juniper berries
- junk mail
- justice
- Jutland
- K glass
- kaffir lily
- Kafka
- Kahlil Gibran
- kaleidoscope
- Kalkhoff Tasman
- Kandinsky
- karma
- Kat
- Kat. Bethan
- Kate
- Kate-the-Vet
- Katherine Jenkins
- Kay's questions
- kedgeree
- Keirin
- Kelloggs
- Kenneth Grahame. Toad Hall
- Kent
- Kentish cobs
- Kepler
- Kerria japonica
- Kerria japonica 'Pleniflora'
- Kerry Morgan
- key rings
- key words
- keyboard
- keys
- khaki
- Khan
- Khartoum
- Khedive of Egypt
- Khoisan
- Kim
- Kindle
- King Edgar of Kent
- King George II
- King George III
- King George VI
- King Harold
- King John
- King Kong
- King Solomon's Temple
- King's College Choir
- Kiri
- Kiri. Barry
- Kit Kat
- kitchen
- kitchen cupboard
- Kitchener
- Kitchener stitch
- kitten
- kitten milk
- kittens
- knickers
- knock knock
- knowledge
- known unto God
- Kodak Brownie
- kong
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- Korma paste
- Kraft
- kryptonite
- KT Tunstall
- Kublai Khan
- Kulula Airlines
- Kynoch vets
- La Manche
- Labour
- Labour Party
- Labrador
- Labrador puppy
- Labrador retriever
- Labradors
- lace-cap hydrangea
- Lady Jane Grey
- ladybird
- ladybirds
- lake
- lambs
- Lancashire
- language
- Lantern Moon
- laptop
- larder
- Large Hadron Collider
- Large Red Damselfly
- Large white butterfly
- lark
- larva
- Last Post
- late
- late afternoon
- late afternoon sky
- late blooms
- laughter
- laundry
- Laura Marling
- Laurel and Hardy
- Lavender
- law
- lawmower
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- Lazarus
- Le Creuset
- Leap Day
- Leap Year
- learning by heart
- Leatherman
- leaves
- LED
- lederhosen
- leek
- left-hand hinge
- legend
- Leisure
- Lend-Lease
- Lenny
- Lent
- Lenten Moon
- Leo
- Leo Marks
- Leonard
- leopard
- Leslie Caron
- lethargy
- Lewis Carroll
- Liam Lynch
- Libellula depressa
- Liberal
- library
- lies
- life
- Life is like a bicycle
- Life of Pee
- Life of Pi
- life's little trials
- light
- light pollution
- lightning
- Lilac
- lilies
- Lily beetles
- lily of the valley
- lime
- limericks
- limping
- Lincolnshire
- liniment May 2009
- links
- lion
- liquid nitrogen
- lisianthus
- Lissotriton vulgaris
- list of posts
- literal
- literary
- Litha
- Lithophane
- litter tray
- Little Ships
- live dogs
- live dogs as shark bait
- Live Writer
- liver
- liver enzymes
- Living Rainforest
- Lloyds TSB
- Lobelia
- local council
- lock
- Lock and Lock
- lockdown
- locum
- Lodewijk Toeput
- log burner
- logs
- LogSaver
- Loki
- Lolly
- London
- London Aquarium
- London Fashion Week
- London Marathon
- loneliness
- long-tailed tit
- long-tailed tits
- longbow
- Longiflorum Lilies
- Look Around You
- loosestrife
- Lord Byron
- Lord Chelmsford
- Lord Howe
- Lord Salisbury
- Lord's
- losing things
- loss
- Lottie
- Lotus
- Louis
- Louis XIV
- Louisiana
- love
- Love-in-a-mist
- lovers
- low carbon emission
- Loyal Toast
- Lucy
- Lulworth Cove
- lunacy
- lungs
- Lurcher
- lute
- lutenist
- lying in state
- Lyle's Golden Syrup
- Lyme disease
- lyre
- Lysimachia punctata
- Ma
- mackerel
- MacLeod
- macro
- Macro Monday
- macro tulips
- Maffick Monday
- Magda Goebbels
- maggots
- magic
- Magic Porridge Pot
- magnolia
- Magpie
- Magpie Tales
- magpies
- Mahdi
- Mahdists
- Malaysia
- mallard
- Mallard drake
- Mallard duck
- mallards
- Malplaquet
- malus
- malware
- mammals
- man
- Man Booker Prize
- Manchester Airport
- Manhattan
- manners
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- mantra
- marathon
- marble scissors
- marbles
- marbling
- Marc Chagall
- March 17th
- March 1st
- March 2010
- March 3rd
- Marco Polo
- Marcus Aurelius
- Margaret
- Margaret Atwood
- Margret Geraghty
- Maria Theresa
- Marie Curie
- marigold
- marigolds
- Marion Hutton
- Mark Fast
- Mark Hurd
- Mark Knopfler
- Mark-the-Vet
- marksmanship
- Marlborough
- marmalade
- Marmite
- Marnie
- marriage
- marriage certificates
- Mars
- Martin Jarvis
- Martin Read
- Martini-Henry rifle
- masks
- Masonic regalia
- massacre of St Bartholomew
- mate
- maternal grandfather
- maternal grandmother
- mathematics
- maths
- mating
- mating dance
- Matthew Maury
- Matthew Wilson
- Max Wall
- May
- May 2009
- May 2010
- May 2016
- May 8th
- May full moon
- May in England
- McLaren
- measles
- medical research
- Medusa
- megaoesphagus
- Mellow Yellow Monday
- Meloxidyl
- Melvyn Bragg
- memory loss
- meningitis
- Merlin
- mermaids
- Meshach
- mesmerising
- mess games
- mess mountaineering
- Met Office
- Metacam
- metamorphosis
- meter
- methane
- mexican orange blossom
- Mexico
- Micawber
- mice
- Michael Jackson
- Michael Morpurgo
- Michael Phelps
- Mick
- microfiction
- Microfiction Monday
- Microfiction Monday #15
- Microfiction Monday #16
- Microfiction Monday #17
- Microfiction Monday #19
- Microfiction Monday #20
- Microfiction Monday #24
- Microfiction Monday #30
- Microfiction Monday #31
- Microfiction Monday #32
- Microfiction Monday #33
- Microfiction Monday #51
- microphone
- mid-June UK 2009
- Middle East
- Midsummer's Night
- Midweek Blues
- migrants
- migration
- Mike the Headless Chicken
- military
- Military Covenant
- milk moon
- milking
- Milvus milvus
- mining
- Ministry of Defence
- Mint moth
- mirror
- mistake
- mistakes
- mists of time
- mites
- Mitt Romney
- mobile phone
- mobile phone cameras
- mobile phones
- mock orange blossom
- MoD
- Mohammed
- Mole
- Moleskine
- mollusc
- Monday Photo Prompt
- Monday's Child
- Money spider
- Mongols
- monkey
- Monkey Man
- monks
- Monochrome Weekly Theme
- monologue
- monologues
- Mons
- Montcalm
- Monty
- moon
- Moon After Yule
- mooning
- Moonrise
- moors
- moped
- more bad poetry
- More Than Just A Kiss blogfest
- morning
- morning rituals
- morning sky
- Morpheus
- Morse code
- Moses
- MOT
- moth
- Moth orchid
- mother
- Mother Goddess
- mothers
- moths
- motorbike
- Mount Everest
- Mount Fuji
- mourners
- Mouse
- Mozart
- MPs
- Mrs Gadget
- mud
- mug
- Mumbai
- Mumbles
- Mumblings
- Muppets
- murder
- muscari
- muscle soreness
- Muses
- museum
- Mushrooms
- music
- Music Hall
- Muslim
- My love is like a red
- My World Tuesday
- Myosotis
- myrrh
- mysteries
- mystery
- myth
- mythology
- N is for Noses
- Nadal
- Nadia
- Nadia-the-Vet
- nail clippers
- NaNoWriMo
- Napoleon
- nappies
- napple notes
- narcissus
- NASA
- nasturtiums
- Natal
- National Trust
- Nativity
- natural world
- navigation
- NCOs
- nectarine
- negative buoyancy
- neglect
- negligence
- Nelson
- Nelson Mandela
- nemesia
- Neolithic long barrow
- nepeta
- nepotism
- Netherlands
- nets
- nevermore
- Neville Chamberlain
- new day
- New England
- New Scotland Yard
- New Year
- New Year's Day
- New Year's Eve
- New Year's Eve 2009
- New York
- New Zealand
- Newfoundland
- news
- newts
- NHS
- Nicholas Soames
- Nick
- Nicolas Tournier
- niece
- Nietzsche
- Nigella damascena
- Nigella damascena 'Moody Blues'
- Night
- night-scented stock
- nightingale
- nightjar
- nightmare
- nightmares
- Nike
- Nina
- nip
- nippy
- Noah
- nonsense
- nonsense.
- Noodler's ink
- Norfolk
- Norfolk terriers
- Norman
- Norman Rockwell
- North America
- North Sea
- North Wind
- Northern Hemisphere
- Northern Ireland
- Northern Ireland. gardening
- Northern Ireland. warranties
- Northern Lights
- Northumberland
- Norway
- noses
- notebooks
- nouveau riche
- novel
- November 2009
- November 2011
- November fog
- November sky
- nursery
- nursery rhyme
- nursery rhymes
- nuthatch
- nuts
- NYC Midnight Challenge
- oak
- oak tree
- oaks
- OCD
- Ocicat
- Ocicats
- October
- October 17th
- October 2009
- October 2011
- October 31st
- October 31st 2009
- octopus
- Ode to the West Wind
- Odile
- Odin
- officer cadets
- offing
- old age
- Old Moon
- Old Royal Naval College
- old wives' tale
- older men
- Olive
- olive oil
- Oliver Twist
- olives
- Olympics
- omelettes
- one
- onion
- onions
- Open Championship
- operation
- Ophion luteus
- Oracle
- orange
- orb-weaver
- orders
- Orders Pour le Merite
- ordure
- oregano
- Orient
- origami
- Orion
- orrery
- Orson Welles
- Orygia antiqua
- Oryx and Crake
- Osborne Bay
- Oscar Wilde
- osteochondrosis
- osteomyelitis
- osteoporosis
- otters
- Oudenaarde
- outboard engine
- outdated laws
- ova
- ovipositor
- owl
- Oxford
- ozone layer
- Pacer poles
- Pacerpoles
- Packaging
- paddling
- paddling pool
- paediatric nurse
- pain
- pain relief patch
- paint
- paint effects
- Painted Hall
- painting
- pairs
- Pakistan
- Pamela
- pansies
- Pansy
- pantalon
- papaya
- parachute jump
- Parachute Regiment
- parachutes
- parade
- parallel universes
- paraskavedekatriaphobia
- parasol
- parents
- Paris
- Parliament
- Parliamentary Commons Business Select Committee
- Parma violets
- parrot
- Parsee
- Parsi
- parthogenesis
- Passchendaele
- passion
- pastry chef
- Patience
- Patio Sophia
- Pats
- Paul
- Paula Stone Williams
- pavement
- Pavement Picasso
- Pavlov's dogs
- paws
- peace
- Peace Envoy
- peanut butter
- Pearl Harbour
- Peas and Queues
- pebbles
- pedicure
- Pegasus
- pegs
- pelargonium
- pelargonium x hortorum
- peloton
- pencils
- penguin
- penguins
- Penny Black
- pension funds
- pensions
- pepper
- peppercorns
- perennial geranium
- perigee
- permafrost
- Persian
- Pet Pride
- Peter Gershon
- Peter Harrison Planetarium
- Peter Mandelson
- Peter Serafinowicz
- Peterborough
- petrol
- pets
- Pets Forever
- pettifogger
- petunias
- pewter
- Phalaenopsis
- Phaseolus vulgaris
- Phil-the-Vet
- philately
- Philip V
- Philip VI
- Phillippines
- philosophy
- Phlogophora meticulosa
- Pholcus phalangioides
- phone hacking
- photo manipulation
- photography
- physics
- piano
- Piatnik
- piccalilli
- pick up
- pickled onions
- pickling
- picnics
- Pieris brassicae
- pig
- pigs
- pike
- Pimpla hypochondriaca
- pin
- Pin the Tail on the Donkey
- pincushion
- ping pong balls
- pinks
- Pinus sylvestris
- pipefish
- pissers
- Pixie frog
- pizza
- PLA of China
- placemats
- plaits
- plane
- plank
- planking
- Plantaganet
- planting
- planting moon
- plantlets
- plasters
- plastic
- plastic bottles
- Plato
- play
- Play time! Gilbert
- playground games
- pleasure
- plus size models
- pneumonia
- poached
- poetry
- Poetry Jam
- Poetry Monday
- poinsettia
- point-to-point
- pointe
- poison
- police
- police helicopter
- policeman
- polio
- political journalists
- politically incorrect
- politician
- politicians
- politics
- pollen
- pollination
- poltergeist
- polyandry
- polycarbonate
- polygamy
- polygynandry
- pond
- pond skaters
- ponds
- Pool Room
- Poor Man's Capers
- poplars
- Poppy Appeal
- population
- portrait
- Portsmouth
- Portsmouth Cathedral
- Portsmouth Historic Dockyard
- Posidonius
- positional vertigo
- post box
- post boxes
- post-apocalypse
- post-war
- postboxes
- Postman Pat
- pottle
- poverty
- power
- Powys
- pre-school
- prehistoric
- preposition
- prescription
- preserves
- President Roosevelt
- priests
- Prime Minister
- Primrose League
- primroses
- Prince Edward
- Prince Eugene of Savoy
- Prince Harry
- Prince of Wales
- Prince William
- printer
- prisoner
- Privy Council
- probate
- procurement
- proliferate
- Prom
- Proms
- proposal
- proselytise
- prostitution
- Protestantism
- Proust
- pruning
- PSV
- pterosaurs
- public sector
- public signs
- Puck of Pook's Hill
- Puglia
- Punch
- puppies
- puppy
- puppy food
- pure alocohol
- Purr...fect Cat Fence
- purse
- pyracantha
- pyracantha berries
- Pyrenean Mountain dog
- Pyrex
- Pyronia tithonus
- Pyxicephalus
- Q-ships
- qu'est-ce-que c'est que ca
- Quaker
- Quakers
- quartermaster
- Queen Anne
- Queen Victoria
- Quercus
- Question Time
- quiescent
- quietude
- Quince
- quinquereme
- quirk
- quotations
- quotidian
- Rabbie Burns
- rabbit
- rabbits
- RAC
- Rachmaninov
- racing
- racing pigeon
- radar
- radiation
- radio
- radiographer
- RAF
- RAF Bentley Priory
- RAF Ensign
- Raging Grannies
- ragwort
- rain
- ram
- rambling rose
- ramblings
- Ramsgate
- Rana temporaria
- random facts
- rant
- ranunculaceae
- ranunculus
- raptors
- rat
- rationing
- rats
- Ratty
- raven
- ravens
- Rawhide
- RBS
- re-post
- Reading
- reading in bed
- reading list
- reason
- Rebecca
- Recall
- recipe
- recycling
- red
- Red Admiral
- red cabbage
- Red Duster
- Red Ensign
- red kite
- red kites
- Red Nose Day
- red onion
- red onions
- red rose
- red sky at night
- red wine
- Redwing
- referees
- reference books
- Referendum
- referred pain
- reflection
- reflections
- refrigerants
- refuge
- refuse collection
- regeneration
- Regrets
- regulations
- reincarnation
- relaxation
- religious education
- Remembrance Day
- remote control
- remote control car
- renal failure
- reorganisation
- repetition
- replanting
- repost
- reproductive urges
- rescue dogs
- rescue stories
- research
- resettling
- resolution
- respect
- restoration
- retail therapy
- retiree
- retirement
- retirement homes
- Rev. W. Awdry
- revenant
- revolving doors
- rewards
- Rhodia
- rhododendron
- rhododendrons
- RHS
- rhythm
- Richmal Crompton
- rickets
- rickshaw man
- ridgenose
- Ridgeway
- rigs
- Rime of the Ancient Mariner
- risky activities
- rituals
- Riverdance
- RMA
- RMAS
- RNLI
- Rob
- Robbie Williams
- Robert
- Robert Browning
- Robert Burns
- Robert Fortune
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- Robert Popper
- Robert the Cat Whisperer
- Robey
- robin
- Robin Cooper
- robins
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- Rochester
- rockets
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- Rocky Mountain spotted fever
- Rodgers and Hart
- roe deer
- rolls
- romance
- Romans
- Romantic Friday Writers
- Rome
- Romeo and Juliet
- Rorke's Drift
- Rosa 'Mermaid'
- rose
- rosemary
- roses
- roses Lady Hillingdon and Warm Welcome
- rotary dryer
- Rough Collie
- Round R
- rowing boat
- Roxy
- Royal
- Royal Army Dental Corps
- Royal British legion
- Royal Command Perormance
- Royal Engineers
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- Royal Mail
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- Royal Navy
- Royal Navy Grand Fleet
- Royal Observatory
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- Royal Veterinary College Hospital
- Royal wedding
- RSPCA
- rubbish
- rudd
- rudeness
- Rudyard Kipling
- rugby
- Rugby World Cup
- runner beans
- running shoes
- Rupert Murdoch
- Russia
- Russian Empire
- Russian Flying Fortresses
- Rusty Tussock
- Ruth
- RVC
- sacroiliac joint
- safety clothing
- safety helmet
- Sagittarius
- sailing
- Sainsbury's
- Saint Anthony
- Saint James
- Saint Jude
- Saint Swithun's Day
- Salisbury Plain
- Salix integra
- Sally Magnusson
- Salomon
- salt
- salt depots
- Salvia
- Sam
- sample
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
- samurai
- sanctions
- sanctuary
- Sandhurst
- Sap Moon
- saplings
- Sappho
- Sarah
- Saratoga
- Sarcoptes scabiei
- sarcoptic mange
- Satie
- SatNav
- Saturday Centus
- Saville Inquiry
- Savlon
- Saxon
- saying grace
- sayings
- scabiosa
- Scabious
- scalp
- scandal
- scarecrow
- scented leaf geranium
- scented-leaf geraniums
- school
- school dances
- school meals
- school uniform
- schools
- sciatica
- science fiction
- Scotland
- Scots pine
- Scots pines
- Scottish
- scrambled
- sculpture
- sea
- sea change
- seahorses
- seaplane
- Search and Rescue
- searching
- Sebastian
- second childhood
- seed head
- seed heads
- seeds
- self-cleaning
- self-containment
- Selfridges
- Selly Oak Hospital
- semaphore
- semicolon
- Semitic alphabet
- Seneco Serpens
- senile dementia
- sense of smell
- sense of taste
- September 2009
- September 2013
- September full moon
- September song
- serendipity
- Sergeant Michael Anderson
- series launch
- services
- settee
- Seven Years' War
- sexual assault
- Sgt. Dave Heyhoe
- Shadow Shot Sunday
- Shadow Shot Sunday #102
- Shadow Shot Sunday #69
- Shadow Shot Sunday #86
- Shadow Shot Sunday #103
- Shadow Shot Sunday #105
- Shadow Shot Sunday #117
- Shadow Shot Sunday #70
- Shadow Shot Sunday #72
- Shadow Shot Sunday #78
- Shadow Shot Sunday #79
- Shadow Shot Sunday #87
- Shadow Shot Sunday #90
- Shadow Shot Sunday #92
- Shadow Shot Sunday #93
- Shadow Shot Sunday 71
- Shadow Shot Sunday 81
- shadows
- Shadrach
- Shakespeare
- shallots
- shampoo
- shamrock
- Shanghai
- sheep
- Sheerness
- Sheila Hancock
- shell beans
- Shell Crisis
- Shelley
- shells
- shepherds
- Shetland Isles
- shield
- shipwreck
- shopping
- shopping mall
- short rations
- showing
- showing off
- shredder
- shrew
- Shrivenham
- Shropshire
- shrubs
- shyness
- Siberian Husky
- Sick Man of Europe
- siffleur
- Silbo
- silent order
- Silent Witness
- silly humour
- Silver Birch
- Silver Y
- Silver-studded Blue butterfly
- Simon Tofield
- Simon's Cat
- Simon's Wood
- Simons Wood
- simple things
- simulator
- singing
- Singleton
- Sir Isaac Newton
- Sir John Betjeman
- Sir John Herschel
- Sir Richard Dannatt
- Sir Winston Churchill
- Sirius
- Six Nations 2009
- Six Word Saturday
- sixties
- Sixty-seven
- skeleton
- skiff
- skinny-dipping
- skipping rhyme
- skis
- Sky Academy studios
- sky over Berkshire
- skydiving
- Skye
- Skywatch Friday
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 11
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 13
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 14
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 16
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 18
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 19
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 20
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 21
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 22
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 25
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 26
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 30
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 32
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 36
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 40
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 41
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 45
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 7
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 8
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 9
- Skywatch Friday #47
- SkyWatch Friday #54
- SkyWatch Friday #55
- SkyWatch Friday #58
- Skywatch Friday 39
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 29
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 33
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 37
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 42
- SkyWatch Friday Season 4 Episode 43
- sledge
- sledges
- sledging
- sleep
- sleeping
- sleeping puppy
- sleeplessness
- Slimbridge
- slippers
- Slough
- slow cooker
- slow lori
- slumber
- small green tomatoes
- small hours
- small white butterfly
- Smile
- smiles
- smoking
- smooth newt
- snail shells
- snap beans
- snapdragon
- sneezing
- Snopes
- snoring
- snow
- snow shovel
- snow socks
- snowdrop
- soaking
- soap
- social intercourse
- socks
- Socrates
- SOE
- soft-boiled
- soft-grip pegs
- solar year
- soldier beetle
- Solomon
- Solomon. Leonard
- Somali kittens
- Somalis
- sombre mood
- Somerset
- Something's gotta give
- Somme
- son
- song
- song thrush
- Sony VAIO
- Sonya
- SOOC
- Sophie Hitchon
- soporific
- souffles
- soup
- soused herrings
- Soused mackerel
- South Africa
- South Bank
- South Kensington
- Southampton Water
- Southern Africa
- Southern Damselfly
- Southern Hawker
- Southern Hemisphere
- Southsea
- Sovereign's Parade
- space
- space travel
- Spain
- spam
- Spanish Flu
- Spanish War of Succession
- sparrow
- Sparrowhawk
- spat
- spearmint
- Specsavers
- speech impediment
- speed camera
- Speedy J
- spelling
- Spencer-Churchill family
- spermatazoa
- spider
- spider webs
- spider's web
- spiderlings
- spiders
- spies
- Spitfire
- Spring
- Spring Bank Holiday
- Spring frog in duckweed
- Spring frogs
- Spring posy
- sprite
- spurs
- square
- squirrel
- squirrels
- SSAFA
- SSSI
- St Andrews
- St Bartholomew massacre 1572
- St David's Day
- St George
- St James'
- St John the Baptist
- St Patrick
- St Valentine's Day
- Stafford Hospital
- stag
- Stag beetle
- stag party
- staggers
- staircase
- stairs
- stalkers
- stalking
- stamens
- stamps
- stand and stare
- Stanford in the Vale
- Stanley Holloway
- star tracker
- Stargazer lily
- Starling
- Starlings
- starvation
- stationery
- status epilepticus
- steel toe-caps
- step-ladders
- stepladder
- sticklebacks
- stings
- stinking Billy
- stoats
- Stockwell Strangler
- Stoke Place
- Stonehenge
- stonemason
- storm
- Stormy
- stormy skies
- story
- straitjacket
- Stratfield Saye
- street dogs
- stridulate
- strike
- strike wood
- string beans
- stupidity
- stylists
- subliminal messages
- Succinctly Yours
- Sudan
- Sudanese Jihadist Arabs
- Sudoku
- Summer
- summer salad
- Summer Solstice
- sun
- Sunday 160
- Sunday morning
- Sunday Trees
- sunflower
- sunflowers
- sunglasses
- sunrise
- sunset
- sunshine
- supergiant
- supermarkets
- supernatural
- supernova
- superstition
- superstitions
- supper
- survival of the fittest
- Susannah
- suspense
- Sussex
- Sussex. Vanessa Bell
- Swan Lake
- swans
- Swansea
- sweating
- sweet chestnuts
- Sweet Pea
- Sweet William
- swimming
- swimming pool
- swimpr player
- swine
- swine flu
- Swing
- Swing Boats
- Swinley Forest
- Swiss Army Knife
- Switzerland
- Sydney
- Sylvia
- Syringa
- syringe
- tadpoles
- tagetes
- Tagetes patula
- tagging
- talented
- tales
- talking
- talking dog
- Talli Roland
- tan
- tankard
- tapestry
- tarantula
- targe
- Tate Britain
- tax form
- tax return
- TB
- Tea
- Tea Cups
- tea party
- teacher
- teachers
- teaching
- team building
- teapot
- technology
- Ted
- Teddy Bears
- teenagers
- teeth
- teething
- telepathy
- telephone
- telephone customer advisors
- television
- Temperley
- temptation
- tennis
- TENS
- terminal skin cancer
- terrapins
- terrier
- Tertiary period
- TES
- Tesco
- tessellation
- tester pots
- tethera
- textile mills
- texting
- texts
- Thabo Mbeki
- Thames Basin Special Protection Area
- Thasos
- That's My World
- the apple
- The Bride
- The Dog Days of My Life
- the dole
- The Doors
- The Great War
- The Language of the Roses
- The Mudlarks
- The Mum Test
- The Pearl Bush
- The Railway Series
- The Simple Woman's Daybook
- The Singing Postman
- The Soldiers' Battle
- The Sweets and the Bitters of Love
- the Thief of Time
- the Twist
- The Water Babies
- Theakston
- There was a crooked man . . .
- Thibie
- Thickthorn
- thieving
- Thimbleflower
- third anniversary
- thistle
- Thomas Joseph
- Thomas Morley
- Thomas Seymour
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- Thornton's
- Threat levels
- threatening skies
- Three Kings
- Threevalleys
- Threevalleys Gundogs
- Threevalleys Prince Rupert
- thriller
- throwing the hammer
- thrum
- thrush
- Thumbelina carrots
- thumbs
- thunder
- Thursday Tales
- Tia
- ticks
- tidying
- tiling
- Time
- time flies
- time out
- time-out
- tin
- Tinker Bell
- titmice
- Toad
- toadstools
- toasting fork
- Today's Flowers
- Today's Flowers #49
- Today's Flowers #50
- Today's Flowers #51
- Today's Flowers #54
- Today's Flowers #57
- Today's Flowers #60
- Today's Flowers #63
- Today's Flowers #66
- Today's Flowers #68
- Today's Flowers #70
- Today's Flowers #71 December 2009
- Today's Flowers #72
- Today's Flowers #75
- Today's Flowers #77
- Today's Flowers #80
- Today's Flowers #90
- Today's Flowers #91
- Today's Flowers #92
- Today's Flowers #93
- Today's Flowers #94
- Today's Flowers #95
- Today's Flowers #96
- Todays Flowers
- Todays Flowers #76
- Todays Flowers #86
- toddler
- toes
- Togetherness
- Tolstoy
- Tom Tom
- tomato
- tomato flowers
- tomato soup
- Tommy Cooper
- Tommy Handley
- Tonga
- Tony Blair
- too early
- Top Gun
- Top Secret
- Topknot
- torment
- tormentil
- Tornado
- Tornadoes
- Toronto
- torsion
- Tory leadership
- Toshiba
- total knee replacement
- toucans
- touch typing
- touch-typing
- Tour de France
- Tower of London
- toy
- tracking
- tradehttp://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/
- Trafalgar
- traffic police
- trail bikes
- train
- train sets
- Trametes versicolor
- trapping and neutering programme
- treason
- treats
- trees
- Treo
- Trevor
- tribulations of life
- triskaidekaphobia
- trivia
- Trooping the Colour
- trousers
- trout
- Tschiffely
- Tschiffely's Ride
- tuberculosis
- Tudor rose
- Tuley tubes
- tulip
- tulips
- tumble dryer
- turbo seal
- Turdus iliacus
- Turner Prize
- Turtle mats
- Tuscany
- tush it
- tweet
- Twelfth Night
- Twelve days of Christmas
- Twickenham
- Twinkle
- Two in Tandem
- two minute silence
- Two Shoes Tuesday
- two years
- Tylney Hall
- type-casting
- typewriter
- Uffington
- UGLE
- UK
- UK hospitals
- ultra-violet
- ultraviolet
- Ulundi
- umbels
- umbilical hernia
- umbilicus
- umbrella
- Underneath the spreading chestnut tree
- underpants
- unfortunate quotations
- unicorn
- uniform
- uniforms
- Union Carbide
- Union Flag
- United Kingdom
- Unites Dates
- universities
- University of Plymouth
- untidiness
- unusual visitor
- Up
- update
- Urdu
- urine
- US
- USA
- USA hospitals
- USS New York
- UTI
- uveitis
- uvula
- V
- vaccinations
- Vale of White Horse
- Valerie Martin
- Valette
- Van Gogh
- Vancouver
- Vanguard
- vapour trail
- Vapourer Moth
- Vaseline
- VE Day
- VE Day 65th anniversary
- vectors
- vegetarian
- Velcro
- velcro dog
- verb
- verbena
- vermin
- veronica
- vertebrates
- vervain
- vet
- vet Patrycja
- vets
- Victoria Cross
- video camera
- video upload
- Viet Cong
- Vietnam
- village
- village hops
- Villars
- Vimy Ridge
- vinaigrette
- Vine Weevil
- viola
- violet
- violets
- Violette Szabo
- Virgin Mary
- virus
- visiting cat
- visitors
- Visual Fields
- Vitamin D
- vitreous gel
- vixen
- vocabulary
- volleyball
- vomeronasal organ
- voters
- vultures
- W C Minor
- W homing pigeon
- W. H. Auden
- W. H. Davies
- wake
- Walbury Hill
- Wales
- Walking
- walks
- Walkstool
- Wall Brown
- Walter
- Walter de la Mare
- Waltz Wave Form
- Warm Welcome
- warning
- warnings
- warrant officer
- warranty
- warranty failure
- Wars of the Roses
- Washakie
- Washakie Lord of the Rings
- washing
- washing machine
- washing machines
- washing the floor
- washing up
- water
- Waterloo Station
- waxing moon
- waxwings
- Wayland's Smithy
- Wayside and Woodland Fungi
- Weald
- weasels
- weather
- weathering
- web
- wedding
- Wedding Anniversary
- wedding day
- wedding processional
- wedding ring cushion
- Wednesday's Words on a Friday
- Weekend
- Weekend Mailbox #2
- Weekend Mailbox #3
- Weekend Mailbox #4
- Weekend Mailbox #5
- Weekend Mailbox #7
- Weekend Mailbox #8
- Weekend Reflections
- Weekend Reflections #37
- Weekend Reflections #38
- Weekend Wordsmith
- Wellington
- Wellington College
- Welsh Guards
- Westbury
- Westminster Abbey
- whales
- What is it?
- whirligig
- whiskers
- Whisky
- white
- White Ensign
- White Horse
- white lies
- white onions
- White Rabbit
- White Rose
- white starling
- White-lipped snail
- Whitehall 1212
- whittling
- whooping cough
- Whoops
- Wicca
- Widgery Tribunal. Northern Ireland
- wife
- Wikipedia
- wild animals
- wild creature
- wild rocket
- Wild Wooders
- Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust
- wildlife accidents
- Wildmoor Heath
- Will
- William Duke of Cumberland
- William F Longgood
- William Shakespeare
- William the Conqueror
- Willow Beauty
- willow pattern
- Wimbledon
- Winchester
- Winchester Cathedral
- wind vane
- Windflower
- Windings
- window impact
- Windsor Forest
- Winston
- winter
- Winter Moon
- Winter Olympics 2010
- Winter Solstice
- wisdom
- Wise Men
- Wokingham
- Wokingham Rocks
- Wolf Moon
- wolf whistle
- Wolfe
- Wolfhounds
- Wonderbra
- wood pigeon
- wood pigeons
- wood-burning stove
- woodlark
- woodpigeon
- word for today
- word play
- word verification
- Wordless Wednesday
- Words for Wednesday
- work
- workbench
- workhouse
- working Cocker spaniel
- Working Labrador
- World War 11
- World Wide Web
- worry
- WOs
- wren
- wrinkles. vanity
- writing
- writing prompt
- wrong connections
- WTC
- WW2
- WWI
- WWII
- X
- x-ray
- x-rays
- Xanthe
- Xanthippe
- Xanthosoma
- Xhosa
- Xmas tree
- yachting
- yachts
- Yaffle
- Yakkay
- Yaktrax
- Yan
- Yardley
- ye. Robert Herrick
- yellow
- yellow archangel
- yellow Guzmania
- yellow-necked mouse
- yew
- Ying Tong Song
- Yiota
- yobs
- Yolanda Adams
- Yorkshire
- Yorkshire Ripper
- young birds
- YouTube
- Ypres
- Yuan dynasty
- Z Batteries
- Zarathustra
- zayin
- zed
- Zephirine Drouhin
- zephyr
- zeta
- zonal pelargonium
- Zong Massacre
- zoo
- Zoot Suit Riots
- Zoot Suits
- Zoroaster
- Zula
- Zulu War
- Zulus
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
FedEx - the hidden message

There is an arrow concealed between E and x – it symbolises
speed and precision.

I wonder what other subliminal messages we are receiving through logos and advertising.
Iertesntnig
Iertesntnig
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat lteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe.
Monday, 24 September 2012
Friday Night Dinner
Friday
Night Dinner
Friday Night
Dinner, known to the cognoscenti (love
that word!) as FND, starts a second series on Sunday 7th October.
You may hate it – that’s your prerogative, but if you like it, even love it, don’t
forget to turn on and tune in to Channel 4(that sounds
rather old-fashioned, somehow, like a 60s rock ‘n’ roll show) on Sunday 7th October at 10.00 p.m. (or 22.00 hours)
I am reliably informed by sources close to the writer (actually the writer himself) that Grandma features quite heavily. Of course, he may be teasing . . .
My apologies to those of you who may not be able to access the YouTube clip.
Labels:
Friday Night Dinner,
Robert Popper
Mag 136 The Dream

Flying Down, 2006, by David Salle
Thanks go
to Tess Kincaid who organises and hosts this meme. To read more Magpies please click here.
The Dream
They say that eating cheese
before bedtime causes nightmares. I didn’t eat any cheese last night and I
wouldn’t say I had a nightmare but I was glad to wake from a confusing night’s
disturbed sleep and discover that my life was normal – ordinary, maybe, but
normal.
I don’t usually remember my
dreams but this one was particularly vivid, full of movement and colour. One
moment I was in the bath, the next I was flying in a small passenger plane with
no idea where I was going or why. I
stood up and discovered I was naked from the waist down except for wellington
boots. That was embarrassing and I tried to explain it to the pilot, who,
meanwhile, had turned into a magician; that was quite fitting as I always think
there must be some magic trick to keeping heavy objects in the air. He wasn’t
listening to me. He was performing a routine to an audience that was heckling
and jeering. So disappointed was he that he disappeared, literally faded as I
watched, telling me as he went that he had a fine gift for me and it would be delivered
very soon.
As the last vestiges of the
pilot/magician evaporated a crane swung towards me. Sure enough it was my gift,
but what a gift. Super-sized earrings
for my ears, they looked more like missiles but then maybe that’s what I needed
to catch the attention of the man of my dreams. Sadly, the object of my amour
had been transformed into a dying duck – elegant and beautiful to watch in his
plummet to earth. And then, finally, as I struggled to make my voice heard,
felt I was strangling, tried to call out, a sneering double-eyed cartoon vortex
spun towards me. I feared abuse but the creature, so colourful, so insane,
passed me by, my naked butt still on display, and plunged into . . . and then I
woke up, heart pounding, glad to be . .
. dull.
Labels:
dreaming,
Magpie Tales,
nonsense
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Reading List
Reading
List
All the blogs in my Reading List have disappeared. It happened
just as I was spending some time catching up on them. Were they spirited away
by some unseen Force or did they see me coming and run away?
The blogs have always returned on previous occasions but I have
an uneasy feeling that maybe, just maybe, this time they will abandon me
completely. I shall be bereft. I shall have to search my memory to find them
again. But suppose I can’t remember? Shall I have to search out new blogs? Will
my followers leave (unfollow as it is
known on Twitter) in disappointment that I no longer visit their blogs?
Come back, blogs – I miss you. I didn’t mean to treat you so
meanly. I promise I will pay you more attention if only you will return.
Yours, in
sorrowful hope . . .
Labels:
disappearing blogs,
reading list
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Dancing
When I was filing my Monday blog post I came across one I published just over two years ago. So here it is again, slightly rejigged – an appropriate verb to use for a piece about dancing.
Dancing was part of the physical education programme at the all-girls’ grammar school I attended from the age of eleven. We learnt country dancing (Strip the Willow and Sir Roger de Coverley), Old-Tyme dancing (the Veleta and the Military Two-Step), and ballroom dancing (the Cha Cha Cha and the Foxtrot). We galloped sweatily round the gymnasium, enjoying the exercise and trying, not very hard, to remember the moves. Although it was enjoyable most of us would rather have been climbing ropes or vaulting.
One of our PE teachers was a talented ballroom dancer but we callow lasses didn’t appreciate that as we watched her spinning skilfully round the hall with her female partner. Our comments were uncharitable at best. We had little understanding of, or interest in, anything other than ourselves. All the staff members were women - the advent of two male teachers a few years later caused a great buzz of unnecessary enthusiasm.
On wet lunchtimes we couldn’t go outside and so dancing was organised in the assembly hall. The music was provided by records and we always wanted the polka. I remember still the heady excitement of swinging giddily round the room with my friend.
When we were about fourteen or fifteen the staff organised a ‘formal’ dance and we all dressed up in our finest. My mother made me a very pretty dark pink Empire line dress and one of the highlights of the evening was commenting on what everyone else was wearing. We were used to seeing each other only in our hideous green uniform in school. We danced together decorously, the bolder girls inviting teachers to partner them. I wonder what those women made of the event. Many of them, though they seemed ancient to us, were probably in their late thirties or early forties and had probably lost fiancés in the war. It must have been bittersweet for them as they twirled around the parquet flooring in the embrace of adolescents, some of whom, in the time-honoured manner of girls’ schools, had crushes on them. Looking back I applaud the magnanimity of those adults in volunteering to supervise us and even accept invitations to dance – or maybe they had been coerced into it by our less than amiable headmistress.
When I was eleven I was one of the smallest girls in the school. By the time I left I was among the tallest. This meant I had to take the man’s role in ballroom dancing. This played havoc when I went out into the wider world and actually had to dance the woman’s part but by the time I started going to village hops and town dances most of the dancing was solo; that is, a boy might ask a girl to dance but there was little physical contact –that is, physical contact wasn’t compulsory.
I was always among the anxious wallflowers until the final, desperate, traditional ‘Last Waltz’ began when every lout youth in the room homed in on the unloved to claim a dance. Being clammily clasped by an inebriated boy who was keen to boast that he had a girl-friend, however tenuous the relationship might be, was not a dream ending to a night out. Nevertheless, it was better to dance the Last Waltz with anyone at all rather than remain on the touch line like an abandoned shipwreck. I liked dancing, though, particularly on my own. I loved the Charleston but there wasn’t much opportunity to dance that. I really enjoyed the Twist and hearing Chubby Checker’s ‘Let’s Twist Again’ always makes me want to dance. I had a ‘twist dress’ that I wore every Saturday night – it was brown and swirled most pleasingly as I twisted the night away.
When we reached the dizzy heights of the fifth form and were almost adults – or so we thought ourselves – our school arranged a joint dance with the boys’ grammar school. Oh, the delirious excitement of it all! Some of my contemporaries already had boyfriends at the school so they were paired with them. The rest of us losers we young ladies were allocated partners, sight unseen.
It was nerve-wracking waiting to discover one’s escort for the evening and, in the event, mutually disappointing, I’m sure. We gazed enviously at our superior and rather smug peers who had come with partners they’d chosen for themselves, tried to be polite and longed for the evening to end. I was relieved that my escort was taller than me for I was quite tall (did the teachers take height into account or were we put together alphabetically?) but the dancing was deplorable, on both our parts. He managed to keep his feet off mine, for which I was thankful, and while he wasn’t actually counting the beats out loud his movements were somewhat staccato. I don’t think the boys had received much dancing instruction but at least they knew they were supposed to be ‘leading’. I knew I was supposed to be following but I was so accustomed to taking the lead that I was fighting him for the privilege.
At some point there were refreshments but time has mercifully over-ridden all other memories of that evening. Certainly, it was not the stepping-off point to a beautiful friendship. I wonder if he ever thinks of that night. I wonder, too, if the experiment – the enforced socialising - was ever repeated.
It was nerve-wracking waiting to discover one’s escort for the evening and, in the event, mutually disappointing, I’m sure. We gazed enviously at our superior and rather smug peers who had come with partners they’d chosen for themselves, tried to be polite and longed for the evening to end. I was relieved that my escort was taller than me for I was quite tall (did the teachers take height into account or were we put together alphabetically?) but the dancing was deplorable, on both our parts. He managed to keep his feet off mine, for which I was thankful, and while he wasn’t actually counting the beats out loud his movements were somewhat staccato. I don’t think the boys had received much dancing instruction but at least they knew they were supposed to be ‘leading’. I knew I was supposed to be following but I was so accustomed to taking the lead that I was fighting him for the privilege.
At some point there were refreshments but time has mercifully over-ridden all other memories of that evening. Certainly, it was not the stepping-off point to a beautiful friendship. I wonder if he ever thinks of that night. I wonder, too, if the experiment – the enforced socialising - was ever repeated.
When the mood takes me these days I dance in the kitchen, on my own, or with a dog or rather surprised cat. Barry doesn’t dance if he can avoid it, making an exception only for jiving, which he really enjoys. One of these days he will spin me out and fail to catch me as I return and I’ll crash unceremoniously into the wall. No doubt he’ll have a camera automatically recording to film the incident.
Labels:
Chubby Checker,
dancing,
school,
the Twist
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Mag 135 Dancing
Thanks go
to Tess Kincaid who organises and hosts this meme. To read more Magpies please click here.
Venus and the Sailor, 1925, by Salvador Dali
Dancing
‘Shall we dance?’ he said and
together they fell into step, dipping, stretching, and gliding across the burnished
boards. The music engulfed them as they pirouetted and twirled, she under his
arm, then he under hers. They saw nothing else, felt nothing else but the
rhythm and the blood pounding in their veins.
He pulled her close, his arms
encircling her and her heart beat faster as their bodies touched, his chest
against hers, his thighs pressed to hers, one hand on the small of her back, guiding
her, just so, just so. She wanted to dance forever, for the moment never to
end.
She gazed into his eyes, saw her
passion reflected there. Her lips parted, he bent his head to hers and the
music swelled as it came to a climax.
The little girl shut the lid of
the music box and went to have her tea.
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Roe deer
The doe is watching the dogs pass by
The deer in our local forest are roe deer, the most numerous
of Britain’s native deer, and at this time of the year their coats have changed
from the dark grey or brown of winter to a rich russet. It is quite usual for
us to see one or two roe deer when we take the dogs walking, particularly towards
evening. The deer are watchful but not easily startled, only taking flight if
one of the dogs gets within twenty yards. Then they bound away and melt into
the trees.
Here she's watching Barry, trying to understand what he's doing
We have often seen deer lying down in patches of sunlight. This
gives them an opportunity to chew the cud. Usually they lie where they have
been feeding only if they feel secure. One of the places we have seen them is
about a hundred yards from the path we follow.
It's difficult to get buck and doe together in one frame!
In the last three weeks, since late August, we have regularly
seen a young buck and doe. They are keeping company because this is the
breeding season. The rut takes place from July to September. Does usually bear
twins which are born the following spring, between April and June. In
exceptionally good conditions a doe may have triplets.
He looks as though he's saying, 'What are you looking at?'
Roe deer are the only
deer that delay implantation so that the young are born when conditions are
favourable, in that the weather is more clement and there is sufficient food and
fresh plant growth. Others among the one hundred or so mammals that delay
implantation (embryonic diapause) include
stoats, badgers and rodents.
Spotting them is sometimes difficult . . .
Can you see him now?
Here he is lying down
Moving away unhurriedly
I found a useful site that shows how to calculate the age of a buck by its antlers and I think ‘our’ buck is a two-year-old.
The antlers are shed each year and unusually for British deer, the roe buck casts and regrows them in the winter when good food is not readily available.
I am linking to Camera Critters.
Labels:
antlers,
buck,
Camera Critters,
delayed implantation,
doe,
embryonic diapause,
roe deer
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Light relief
As a little light relief I thought I'd post an extract from a book I'm working on. It's taken from a chapter about a children's party. They are attempting to play a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
************************************************************************
When Mike and Jane realised that none of the children was likely to get
within a stone’s throw of the donkey, let alone its nether regions, they
decided to let them have a go without blindfolds. The first child stuck the tail
on the donkey’s nose, the next on its hindmost hoof. Three children opted for
the pleasantly rotund mid-portion of the donkey, one for its eye, another for
its ear. The rest of the guests went for the hindquarters, or rather the back
half of the animal. No-one came anywhere near the right position, which made Mike
wonder if any of them had ever seen a donkey, or horse, or cow or indeed any
quadruped with a tail.
‘Does anyone know where a donkey’s tail goes?’ Mike asked cheerfully.
The tiny doll-sized girl’s hand shot up. ‘I do,’ she yelled. ‘On his
bottom,’ and she giggled. The rest of the children went into paroxsyms of
laughter at this rude word and repeated it excitedly to each other behind their
hands, eyes wide with shocked delight.
Mike looked despairingly at his wife who was struggling to maintain a
straight face.
‘Very good,’ he said. ‘Would you like to show me where his bottom is?’
The tiny
doll-sized girl put her hands over her face and peeped out at him through her
laced fingers. She shook her head.
‘Would anyone else like to show me?’ he appealed, but his words were
lost on his audience, who were rolling around on the floor, clutching their
stomachs and gasping as they cackled.
‘Can anyone show me where the donkey’s tail should go?’ he asked, hoping
that sanity might be restored, but the children were seized by hysteria and a
couple were going red and starting to cough and splutter. From experience with
his own children, Mike recognised that overexcitement would soon lead to tears and
possibly vomiting and loss of control of other bodily functions.
‘I’ll show you, shall I?’ he boomed and lurched energetically towards
the donkey whose cheerful smile exhibited a mocking aspect he hadn’t noticed
before.
In his haste to reestablish normality he failed to notice his shoe laces
were tied together until he was brought to a sudden, undignified halt.
Overbalancing, he crashed to the floor, narrowly missing a small ginger child
who had been watching him since he entered the room. The cherubic blond boy was
also watching and Jane thought she detected glee on his face.
‘Shi- shall I show you?’ Mike bellowed, heroically resisting the urge to swear
loudly and profanely. The small ginger child stuck its third and fourth fingers
in its mouth and its little finger in its nose and gazed at Mike as he fumbled
his laces undone and struggled to his feet, rubbing his knees. The tiny doll-sized girl giggled suddenly and
said, ‘You’re funny, you are. You’re funny. I think you’re funny.’
She looked at the other children and said, ‘We all think you’re funny.
You’re funny, you are.’
All the children started chanting, ‘You’re funny, you are, you’re funny.’
Mike bared his teeth in what he hoped was a smile, which Jane later
informed him looked about as convincing and heartwarming as Hannibal Lecter’s
menacing leer. He picked up the donkey’s tail and attached it to the correct
part of the animal’s anatomy.
‘There,’ he said triumphantly. ‘You see? Now, which one of you would like
to have a go?’
The tiny doll-sized girl looked pityingly at him and said in tones of
infinite patience, ‘Well, it’s there now, so you’ve won, haven’t you?’
The small ginger child sucked harder at its fingers, the cherubic blond
boy muttered some more about pass the parcel and Alexander burst into tears and
punched his father in the groin. Mike gasped and sat down heavily on the sofa.
As he fought to prevent the colourful Anglo-Saxon words that were trying to
force their way past his teeth, Jane took control and called the children to the kitchen for tea.
The ensuing fracas was eye-opening. The tiny doll-sized girl stood on her
chair and reached across the table to grab a bowl of crisps. She sat down and
put a protective arm around the bowl, shrugging off all comers with a snarl and
cramming crisps into her mouth at an astonishing rate. The blond cherubic boy
took bites out of several slices of pizza before replacing them on the
plate. Another boy, one of the tough-looking
kissing duo, spat out everything he tasted and disliked, which proved to be
most things. Alexander licked his finger and swiftly marked half a dozen
chocolate fancies before snatching the plate with all the cheese and pineapple
skewers and disappearing under the table.
The small ginger child piled its plate with cocktail sausages, ate one
and knocked the plate off the table as it suddenly realised it desperately
needed the loo. It asked Jane to help with the intricate buckles on its
shoulders. Thus it was that Jane was able to ascertain that, despite all
appearances to the contrary, the child was a boy. She had been fooled by the
long ginger ringlets and the elaborate rings and bracelets he was wearing. His
name was androgynous – Kim. His clothes, too, gave little clue to his gender. He
was wearing dungarees, true, but they were red and white gingham with flower
motifs over a silky pale blue polo neck. The shoes on his neat little feet were
black patent with big silver bows.
‘Kim,’ she asked as she fastened him back into his outfit. ‘Have you any
brothers or sisters?’
He gazed at her, long lashes shading his wide eyes. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I’m
the one and only, never lonely.’
‘Oh,’ said Jane, somewhat taken aback.
‘Mummy and me, together we’re free,’ he said.
‘That’s good,’ she murmured.
‘I love her and she loves me,’ he added.
‘Lovely,’ breathed Jane.
‘Together till eternity,’ he sighed.
‘What a strange child’ thought Jane. ‘Does he always speak in rhyme?’
Labels:
Extract,
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
Monday, 3 September 2012
Mag 133 Recall
Thanks go
to Tess Kincaid who organises and hosts this meme. To read more Magpies please click here.
Summer Night, 1913, by Albert Bloch
Recall
It was there, just beyond reach. If only he could recall . . .
Perhaps if he sat quietly for a while as the woman had suggested it might come
back to him but that was something he couldn’t do. He paced. He looked about
him. There were others in the house but he didn’t know them though some looked
familiar. Why was he here? It wasn’t his home. He wanted to go home. Someone could
take him - he had money. Then he could live on his own again. He didn’t like it
here. He didn’t like the people. They stared at him and made him angry. He couldn’t
understand what they were saying and they wouldn’t go away. He threw a cup at
the woman nearest him. What was in the cup?
At meal-times he sat among strangers and ate food he hadn’t
ordered though the woman told him he had. She had lied to him. Afterwards he
paced again. Where were his parents? His sister had come to visit. She was
older than him – fifty-six. He asked her about his parents. She told him they
were dead. Why hadn’t anyone told him? He told her his things had been stolen.
She found them in a drawer and showed them to him but they weren’t his. She was
lying. Everyone was lying. No-one understood, no-one believed him. The fog in
his head grew thicker and the words wouldn’t come.
His sister went to talk to the woman. He listened. The woman
said, ‘Your father’s not too bad today, a little aggressive, but manageable.’
What did she mean? Her words were a blur. She was lying again.
‘He was trying to tell me about his boyhood home but he couldn’t
remember the name. He got very agitated – his vocabulary is so limited now but
he’s in remarkably good health for a man of his age. Ninety-eight next week,
isn’t he?’
The man wrung his hands. He hated it here. He would escape and
go home to . . . the name was there, just beyond reach.
His sister came back. What was she called?
‘Goodbye, Dad. See you
in a few days.’
Labels:
Alzheimer's,
Magpie Tales,
old age,
Recall,
senile dementia
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