Dancing
I was educated solely with girls from the age of six to eighteen.
This had a lasting impact on my ability to interact with the opposite sex. I had an older brother, who was no help to me whatsoever, and a glamorous sister, fifteen years my senior. She had a stream of attractive boyfriends, and I used to watch wide-eyed as she prepared for an evening out, knowing I would never be able to achieve her level of sophistication. I overcame these obstacles to some extent, of course, but was always shy and never managed the easy relationships with young men that other girls seemed to enjoy.
Anyway, at the age of eleven, I duly went off to the next stage of my state education. Dancing was part of the physical education curriculum. We learnt country dancing -Strip the Willow and Sir Roger de Coverley, Old Tyme dancing - the Veleta and the Military Two-Step, and ballroom dancing - the Cha Cha Cha and the Foxtrot. We galloped sweatily round the gymnasium, enthusiastic but not completely enamoured of the exercise.
All the staff members were women. (The appointment of two male teachers a few years later caused a great buzz of unnecessary enthusiasm.) One of our PE teachers was a particularly good ballroom dancer, but I’m afraid we callow lasses didn’t appreciate her skill as we watched her spinning gracefully round the assembly hall with her female partner. Our comments were uncharitable at best. We had little interest in anything other than ourselves.
When we were about fourteen, the school organised a ‘formal’ dance and we all dressed in our finest. My mother was a talented needlewoman and made me a very pretty deep pink Empire line dress. Our pleasures in those days were simple, and one of the highlights of the evening was commenting on what everyone else was wearing. After all, we were accustomed to seeing each other only in our hideous green school uniform. We danced together decorously, the bolder girls inviting teachers to partner them.
I wonder what those women made of the event. Many of them, though they seemed ancient to us, were probably in their late thirties or early forties and had possibly lost fiancés in the war. It must have felt bittersweet to them as they twirled around the parquet flooring in the embrace of adolescent girls, some of whom, in the time-honoured manner of single sex schools, had crushes on them.
Looking back, I applaud the magnanimity of those adults in volunteering to supervise us and accept invitations to dance, or maybe they had been coerced into it by our less than amiable headmistress.
Oh what a poignant post! Were your sister and brother educated in single sex environments as you were?
ReplyDeleteI was just going to ask that question too , Debby. I was lucky to have gone to school (Catholic school) with mixed cohorts.
DeleteI was also curious what your uniform looked like? Was it a religious school you attended?
It;s also funny to read your comments about your PE teacher. During school, I never paid much (if any) attention to art or history or geography. I could ace the exam but I never really explored the subject or asked questions ....and then as I grew up, the stuff I thought I liked, I never did more off and found myself esp. drawn to history documentaries and buying books on art history.
Most schools were single sex then. The grammar school uniform was green and the school nominally C of E, but not overtly religious.
DeleteI think education for many people starts in earnest after compulsory school days, when they can pursue their own interests.
I went to "mixed" schools, boys and girls and never really made friendships with either, but we did have dancing lessons and I remember learning the Barn Dance and the military Two-Step, but at the only school dance I ever attended, I was asked to dance only once, by a teacher, and halfway around the floor the heel broke off my shoe, so I sat on the sidelines until it was all over. There was one term where my class learned "square dancing" and/or "folk dancing" to be able to put on a show for the school's "Open Day." I loved it! Other classes put on gymnastic displays, baking displays etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's not true for everyone that schooldays were the best years of their life. I would have enjoyed taking part in the square dancing and the gymnastics displays. I remember seeing my brother break his arm in a gymnastics display.
DeleteWhat a poignant and beautifully told memory, full of grace, humour, and quiet reflections on youth, longing, and the quiet strength of those women who danced with you.
ReplyDeleteI remember with shame how callous we were. We were also excited if one of the teachers got married, so not all feeling was absent.
DeleteI loved that kind of dancing but probably because we were raised on it at community gatherings in the village hall. By the time I got to high school virtually no one our age danced like that any more (except our parents).
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I danced the Military Two-Step or the Veleta, both of which I enjoyed, ultimately. By the time I went out dancing independently, everyone danced singly!
DeleteI went to a mixed primary and high school but that didn't help; I thought the boys in high school were sweaty dimwits. Only at uni did the boys take better care of their hygeine, clothes and language :)
ReplyDeleteYou were fortunate. In my experience, the sweaty, sweary adolescents grew into sweaty, sweary young men.
DeleteI went to an all female cathol9c convent prep school; dark blue gym slips, navy coats, felt hat and fawn woolen gloves in winter, blazers straw boaters and white gloves in summer. Both secondary schools were single sex; the grammar where I learned not so be so was 'so posh' and later a boarding school where I learned I wasn't 'posh enough'. Then university in the north when I discovered, guess what, I was 'too posh' all over again... ah well it takes all sorts and I learned to be several of the sorts!
ReplyDeleteOh, the hats! and woe betide you if you dared not to wear it and the gloves. I suffered from sounding too posh - and people make such glaringly wrong assumptions!
DeleteWhat a charming trip down memory lane. It's so interesting how those single-sex school days shaped your experiences. And learning all those dances. Strip the Willow, the Military Two-Step, the Cha Cha Cha what a fabulous mix.
ReplyDeleteI didn't really carry on dancing those dances, once I left school, apart from one or two occasions.
DeleteAs River said square dancing was fun, folk dancing was ok, although the boys used an approximation for the word folk. Between 17 an 19 post school, I learnt ballroom dancing. I was reasonably ok at it, but I didn't take it very seriously. I wonder if you had a school girl crush on a teacher, which I suppose is just extreme admiration.
ReplyDeleteThere were some teachers I admired, usually the younger ones with a sense of humour, but I never had a crush. Some girls went completely overboard and it was embarrassing to watch them, particularly for the object of their interest.
DeleteI never learned to dance. Catholic schools don't do that. I'm glad you had an opportunity to learn even if you didn't go down all of school. I find that very interesting in itself.
ReplyDeleteCatholic schools don't sound a lot of fun, but they did seem to have a sense of family and belonging.
DeleteOf course in Germany it was the same boys and girls were in different schools and as I was an only child I only knew the brothers of the girls in my class. When we were 15 the girl and boy schools organized a ball so for the first time both sexes met ! I missed that because by the time I was moved to Brussels and was furious against my father that I had to go into a foreign country which I didn't know at all. But fortunately I had to go to the German school, as I didn't know French, and the German school was mixed as there were not enough pupils. I was nr 199 ! (now they are over 3000) That was the funniest time of my youth !
ReplyDeleteToday all schools are mixed which is much better.
We live in a mixed society, so it makes sense to go to mixed schools to get used to each other.
DeleteWe used to learn exactly the same dances at our school. I enjoyed the dancing. Not so much the partners at our mixed schools
ReplyDeleteAt least you had mixed schools! Most are mixed now, but some parents do their best to find single-sex schools for their children.
DeleteThe schools I went to were all co-ed and I can remember being so nervous about having to dance with a boy. Maybe that explains why to this day I seem to have two left feet when it comes to dancing.
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting. It sounds as if it wouldn't have helped me at all to attend a co-ed school.
DeleteIn parochial school, from grade 5 through 8, the girls were separated from the boys for recess. When I went to public school in 9th grade and had male teachers for the first time. I developed a horrible crush on my math teacher. At the end of the year there was a dance and some friends pushed me to dance with him. I was nervous but in heaven. He was 28 yrs old, an old man at the time to me, but he was very gracious of my school girl crush. Thanks for a happy memory to start my day
ReplyDeleteAww, that's so sweet. To a teenager 28 seemed absolutely ancient then.
DeleteInteresting memories
ReplyDelete😁
DeleteWe did some form of square dancing when I was in elementary school and invited the parents to watch us. I never understood why we did that ...
ReplyDeleteIt was probably to prove how wide-ranging the curriculum was . . . 😀
DeleteBeing raised evangelical, dancing was verbotten. Almost 20 years ago, however, we joined a line dancing group. It was difficult for me to learn at first. The same group had some regular dances, and I kind of figured out the waltz and the two-step. What I noticed is that the somewhat older group (I was still in late-50s, early-60s) could actually dance. Then I realized that younger people don’t know how to dance properly. They kind of just gyrate about
ReplyDeleteLine dancing is fun. I agree, though, young people don't dance, they just jiggle to the beat.
DeleteNo dancing at my grammar school although, aged 13, I used to go to ballroom dancing lessons with my best friend on Saturday mornings. We were taught by a dapper little man in a big room above the old Astoria Cinema. I seem to remember he kept disappearing behind a screen for a few moments then reappearing bearing a faint whiff of alcohol!
ReplyDeleteOh, what a lovely memory - a great outlet for you and your friend and a subtle introduction to the secret delights of adults.
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and all the comments and I am so glad you and others told me about your school years. Mine was like none of what I read, except the dancing was verbotten from Anvilcloud. Southern Baptist Preacher Dad, everything thing was verboten, not allowed. I did go to co-ed school all 12 years, and when I graduated I have never been on a date. I thought school was invented to make me miserable and I even had nightmares for 2 weeks each year before school started. now I know a lot of it was in my own head.
ReplyDeleteDays to be forgotten, not cherished, but you survived and thrived and developed a wonderful sense of humour despite it all. 😊
DeleteI had three brothers but no sisters. After passing my eleven plus I attended two all-boys schools. That experience greatly affected how I related to girls - a good reason for having co-educational schools. It's not just about French or History or Chemistry - education should also be about people skills including gender awareness.
ReplyDeleteI agree! When I saw 'French' I thought you were about to discuss French kissing, that exotic topic. 😉😟
ReplyDeleteI learned to dance those dances too in primary school and also when I started at the mixed grammar school, but later I went to an all girls boarding school. The boys grammar school had a boarding house opposite our boarding house so of course we were always spying on the boys and no doubt they were spying on us too.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever meet each other? Was it a disappointment? 😁
DeleteSuch a lovely and honest reflection!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the glimpse into your school days the dancing, the dress, and the awkwardness of youth. Your storytelling brings it all to life so gracefully.
Thank you for sharing this memory!
Thank you. 😊
DeleteGrowing up in the American South, I never experienced the same-sex schooling that you describe. I always went to public (which means something different here) schools and, from my earliest years, had to negotiate relationships with both sexes. I can see how there might be benefits to each system.
ReplyDeleteThe theory is that girls perform better at single-sex secondary schools, while boys benefit from co-ed schools. Strangely, many of our independent (fee-paying) schools are now co-ed - not Eton or Harrow, not yet, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI used to love country dancing. My grammar school was girls only and I too was shy and nervous around boys.
ReplyDelete. . . and you look at the bold, confident girls and wonder how they do it!
DeleteWhat a lovely interesting post. I don't remember dancing classes at senior school, but I did enjoy lots of those dances you mentioned, and then went on to learn ballroom dancing. My school uniforn was green too.
ReplyDeleteDo you still dance? It's so graceful.
DeleteWere you at my school?? It sounds very like it. Though our uniforms were navy. I too, now, think of the "ancient" teachers and wonder about their lives.
ReplyDeleteNow we know how younger people probably regard us and just as unfairly, apart from those who know us well.
DeleteI applaud those supervisors too. It must have been a bit like anthropological observation, ha.
ReplyDeleteYou're right - observing an almost alien species, called 'the young.' 😟
DeleteMany thanks for sharing your school-day memories.
ReplyDeleteI think most schools are mixed now, although I do know of some parents that prefer to find single-sex schools ... even going as far as moving into a schools catchment area, which I believe does happen quite a lot!
All the best Jan
It seems to be the grammar schools here which opt for single sex education, but, of course, places there are at a premium. That provides work for tutors to help children attain the right levels. Life's awfully complicated sometimes. 😟
DeleteIn my elementary school physical education classes there was one unit on folk and square dancing. Nothing after that.
ReplyDeleteHaving dedicated units on specific topics seems to be the normal way of approaching subjects these days. It's a bit hard for the more academic subjects, but there's so much to be crammed into the curriculum now.
DeleteThere was country dancing in elementary school, coed, and no dance at all in grammar school, a Catholic one attached to a convent. Awful uniform, also expensive. Your economic situation showed up when affluent students had new uniforms each year and people like me star student, got shabbier each year because my parents couldn't buy new. So much for uniform ironing (!) out social differences.
ReplyDeleteThere were no second-hand uniform sales, either. At least uniform, shabby or not, meant no outdoing each other with designer labels, which would otherwise have occurred, and still does, with bags and other accessories.
ReplyDeleteI never went to a single sex school - and nor did I never have to wear uniform - but I was still shy in social settings and especially around boys. Being the eldest, I didn't even have the example of an older sister or brother ... But I too overcame these obstacles, although I am still not the most outgoing person ever ... xxx
ReplyDeleteWe can't be other than we are - maybe that's just as well.
ReplyDeleteI went to a mixed secondary school and any kind of dancing was usually only done at the end of a school year as a fun activity. I only ever remember that being country dancing though. I enjoyed reading about your dancing memories.
ReplyDeleteI think disco dancing rather took over more demure forms of dancing.
ReplyDelete