Dancing
I was educated solely with girls from the age of six to eighteen.
This had a lasting impact on my ability to interact with the opposite sex. I had an older brother, who was no help to me whatsoever, and a glamorous sister, fifteen years my senior. She had a stream of attractive boyfriends, and I used to watch wide-eyed as she prepared for an evening out, knowing I would never be able to achieve her level of sophistication. I overcame these obstacles to some extent, of course, but was always shy and never managed the easy relationships with young men that other girls seemed to enjoy.
Anyway, at the age of eleven, I duly went off to the next stage of my state education. Dancing was part of the physical education curriculum. We learnt country dancing -Strip the Willow and Sir Roger de Coverley, Old Tyme dancing - the Veleta and the Military Two-Step, and ballroom dancing - the Cha Cha Cha and the Foxtrot. We galloped sweatily round the gymnasium, enthusiastic but not completely enamoured of the exercise.
All the staff members were women. (The appointment of two male teachers a few years later caused a great buzz of unnecessary enthusiasm.) One of our PE teachers was a particularly good ballroom dancer, but I’m afraid we callow lasses didn’t appreciate her skill as we watched her spinning gracefully round the assembly hall with her female partner. Our comments were uncharitable at best. We had little interest in anything other than ourselves.
When we were about fourteen, the school organised a ‘formal’ dance and we all dressed in our finest. My mother was a talented needlewoman and made me a very pretty deep pink Empire line dress. Our pleasures in those days were simple, and one of the highlights of the evening was commenting on what everyone else was wearing. After all, we were accustomed to seeing each other only in our hideous green school uniform. We danced together decorously, the bolder girls inviting teachers to partner them.
I wonder what those women made of the event. Many of them, though they seemed ancient to us, were probably in their late thirties or early forties and had possibly lost fiancés in the war. It must have felt bittersweet to them as they twirled around the parquet flooring in the embrace of adolescent girls, some of whom, in the time-honoured manner of single sex schools, had crushes on them.
Looking back, I applaud the magnanimity of those adults in volunteering to supervise us and accept invitations to dance, or maybe they had been coerced into it by our less than amiable headmistress.
Oh what a poignant post! Were your sister and brother educated in single sex environments as you were?
ReplyDeleteI was just going to ask that question too , Debby. I was lucky to have gone to school (Catholic school) with mixed cohorts.
DeleteI was also curious what your uniform looked like? Was it a religious school you attended?
It;s also funny to read your comments about your PE teacher. During school, I never paid much (if any) attention to art or history or geography. I could ace the exam but I never really explored the subject or asked questions ....and then as I grew up, the stuff I thought I liked, I never did more off and found myself esp. drawn to history documentaries and buying books on art history.
Most schools were single sex then. The grammar school uniform was green and the school nominally C of E, but not overtly religious.
DeleteI think education for many people starts in earnest after compulsory school days, when they can pursue their own interests.
I went to "mixed" schools, boys and girls and never really made friendships with either, but we did have dancing lessons and I remember learning the Barn Dance and the military Two-Step, but at the only school dance I ever attended, I was asked to dance only once, by a teacher, and halfway around the floor the heel broke off my shoe, so I sat on the sidelines until it was all over. There was one term where my class learned "square dancing" and/or "folk dancing" to be able to put on a show for the school's "Open Day." I loved it! Other classes put on gymnastic displays, baking displays etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's not true for everyone that schooldays were the best years of their life. I would have enjoyed taking part in the square dancing and the gymnastics displays. I remember seeing my brother break his arm in a gymnastics display.
DeleteWhat a poignant and beautifully told memory, full of grace, humour, and quiet reflections on youth, longing, and the quiet strength of those women who danced with you.
ReplyDeleteI remember with shame how callous we were. We were also excited if one of the teachers got married, so not all feeling was absent.
DeleteI loved that kind of dancing but probably because we were raised on it at community gatherings in the village hall. By the time I got to high school virtually no one our age danced like that any more (except our parents).
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I danced the Military Two-Step or the Veleta, both of which I enjoyed, ultimately. By the time I went out dancing independently, everyone danced singly!
DeleteI went to a mixed primary and high school but that didn't help; I thought the boys in high school were sweaty dimwits. Only at uni did the boys take better care of their hygeine, clothes and language :)
ReplyDeleteYou were fortunate. In my experience, the sweaty, sweary adolescents grew into sweaty, sweary young men.
DeleteI went to an all female cathol9c convent prep school; dark blue gym slips, navy coats, felt hat and fawn woolen gloves in winter, blazers straw boaters and white gloves in summer. Both secondary schools were single sex; the grammar where I learned not so be so was 'so posh' and later a boarding school where I learned I wasn't 'posh enough'. Then university in the north when I discovered, guess what, I was 'too posh' all over again... ah well it takes all sorts and I learned to be several of the sorts!
ReplyDeleteOh, the hats! and woe betide you if you dared not to wear it and the gloves. I suffered from sounding too posh - and people make such glaringly wrong assumptions!
DeleteWhat a charming trip down memory lane. It's so interesting how those single-sex school days shaped your experiences. And learning all those dances. Strip the Willow, the Military Two-Step, the Cha Cha Cha what a fabulous mix.
ReplyDeleteI didn't really carry on dancing those dances, once I left school, apart from one or two occasions.
DeleteAs River said square dancing was fun, folk dancing was ok, although the boys used an approximation for the word folk. Between 17 an 19 post school, I learnt ballroom dancing. I was reasonably ok at it, but I didn't take it very seriously. I wonder if you had a school girl crush on a teacher, which I suppose is just extreme admiration.
ReplyDeleteI never learned to dance. Catholic schools don't do that. I'm glad you had an opportunity to learn even if you didn't go down all of school. I find that very interesting in itself.
ReplyDeleteOf course in Germany it was the same boys and girls were in different schools and as I was an only child I only knew the brothers of the girls in my class. When we were 15 the girl and boy schools organized a ball so for the first time both sexes met ! I missed that because by the time I was moved to Brussels and was furious against my father that I had to go into a foreign country which I didn't know at all. But fortunately I had to go to the German school, as I didn't know French, and the German school was mixed as there were not enough pupils. I was nr 199 ! (now they are over 3000) That was the funniest time of my youth !
ReplyDeleteToday all schools are mixed which is much better.
We used to learn exactly the same dances at our school. I enjoyed the dancing. Not so much the partners at our mixed schools
ReplyDeleteThe schools I went to were all co-ed and I can remember being so nervous about having to dance with a boy. Maybe that explains why to this day I seem to have two left feet when it comes to dancing.
ReplyDeleteIn parochial school, from grade 5 through 8, the girls were separated from the boys for recess. When I went to public school in 9th grade and had male teachers for the first time. I developed a horrible crush on my math teacher. At the end of the year there was a dance and some friends pushed me to dance with him. I was nervous but in heaven. He was 28 yrs old, an old man at the time to me, but he was very gracious of my school girl crush. Thanks for a happy memory to start my day
ReplyDeleteInteresting memories
ReplyDeleteWe did some form of square dancing when I was in elementary school and invited the parents to watch us. I never understood why we did that ...
ReplyDeleteBeing raised evangelical, dancing was verbotten. Almost 20 years ago, however, we joined a line dancing group. It was difficult for me to learn at first. The same group had some regular dances, and I kind of figured out the waltz and the two-step. What I noticed is that the somewhat older group (I was still in late-50s, early-60s) could actually dance. Then I realized that younger people don’t know how to dance properly. They kind of just gyrate about
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