Harry Flakers

 

Harry Flakers

Roxy likes sunbathing!

Last night, as Roxy lay sleeping (sounds like the beginning of a poem!) Barry commented that she was Harry Flakers. She and Gilbert had had a wonderful walk, dashing in and out of ponds and undergrowth, sniffing here, snuffling there, thoroughly enjoying themselves. Playing in water always seems to be more tiring than simply running. Anyway, there she lay. Gilbert was also asleep, accompanied by Jellicoe and Herschel, one either side.

When I was at school, I had to take two buses to travel there. I always met a friend at the second stop, and one day she told me her sister was ‘Harry Preggers.’ I didn’t query what she meant, just noted that she was about to become an aunt. Years later, I wondered why putting ‘Harry’ at the beginning of a phrase was thought necessary.  What did it add? Did it mean ‘very?’

I’ve just looked it up. It was ‘upper class’ British slang, originating in the 1930s and 40s from the upper ranks of the Royal Navy, and Oxford University undergraduates, and not much in use currently. During the Second World War it became part of ‘jackspeak,’ about which I have written before. I have also learnt that ‘Harry’ is a ‘meaningless intensifier.’

So, ‘Harry Flakers’ means extremely tired, or ‘flaked out.’ ‘Harry Starkers’ means stark naked, stark meaning ‘completely.’ ‘Harry Flatters’ can mean a flat, calm sea, or driving at maximum speed, or lying down and resting. ‘Harry Hotters’ would be used in a ship’s engine room.

There are other ‘Harry’ expressions, but ‘Harry Flakers’ is the only one we use occasionally, perhaps because we both, separately, grew up in the Medway Towns, (now known as Medway) and were unconsciously influenced by Naval and Military tradition. I don’t recall my parents or my mother-in-law ever using such an expression. (I just asked Barry, and he thinks he picked it up at Sandhurst. Many of his instructors were Second World War veterans.)

It does, however, perfectly describe the total relaxation of a well-exercised dog, or lively toddler.

Tales from the Academy ASM J.C. Lord MVO, MBE

 

Tales from the Academy

                                            Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

ASM J.C. Lord MVO, MBE

This is an update of a post from many years ago.

We live a short distance from the Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst, variously known as the Academy, the RMA, the RMAS or simply Sandhurst. We often hear the sound of small arms fire in the wee, small hours of the night and so we know that Sandhurst is on exercise (known as manoeuvres in other countries.)

The RMA has trained countless thousands of officer cadets from numerous countries. All of them have memorable moments to recount, many relating to the Warrant Officers who drilled them so thoroughly – some might say, relentlessly.

J.C. Lord of the Grenadier Guards was the first Academy Sergeant Major at Sandhurst. Academy Sergeant Major is the highest non-commissioned rank in the Army. Today, all Warrant Officers Class 1 (WO1) are nicknamed ‘Lords’ in his honour and two rooms at the Academy are named for him, one being the WOs and Sergeants’ Mess bar. In the British Army, WO1 is the highest non-commissioned rank below ASM. (In the US Army it is the lowest WO rank.)

The ASM is usually drawn from one of the Guards regiments. The current holder, Daniel Cope (2024) is a Welsh Guardsman.

ASM Lord was an impressive character. He was the first Regimental Sergeant Major of the 3^rd Battalion, Parachute Regiment on its formation. He was wounded and captured at Arnhem and taken to Stalag XIB Prisoner of War Camp where conditions were deplorable, and the prisoners’ self-esteem was extremely low. Through his strength of personality and enduring military discipline, J.C. Lord raised morale and rebuilt the confidence and pride of the prisoners.

At the time of his tenure at Sandhurst, most cadets entered the Academy straight from school, little more than boys, and the course lasted two years and involved a great deal of drilling. Now, it is a shorter course, and the cadets are older, more mature young men and women, many with professional qualifications.

Nonetheless, drill still plays its part. In ASM Lord’s time, he would address the cadets at their first parade, pace stick under arm. ‘Gentlemen, I will call you ‘Sir,’ but I will not mean it. You will address me as ‘Sir’ and you will mean it.’ All cadets, regardless of wealth, background, or family connections (many came from Royal families across the globe and still do) were treated equally and expected to conform and perform to the required standard. The Sandhurst motto, ‘Serve to lead’ means exactly that.

He had an extraordinary eye for detail and would spot any infringement in dress or behaviour from a great distance. With, then, one thousand cadets on the parade ground, all dressed identically, usually in service dress, he would order his subordinates to ‘fetch that idle man over there.’

The Warrant Officers would scurry about, seeking the miscreant and would shout, ‘This one, sir?’

ASM Lord would shout back, ‘No!’

Another cadet would be singled out. ‘This one, sir?’

‘No!’

A third unfortunate would be indicated. ‘This one, sir?’

‘No!’ came the reply.

Eventually, with WOs trying their best to discover the cause of the ASM’s distress, ‘This one, sir?’ would bring forth the response, ‘No! No! No! No! No! – but he’ll do!’

Depending on the severity of the misdemeanour, the culprit might find himself detained in the Guard House for a brief period.

     Officer cadets learnt very quickly that it was unwise to do anything that might draw close attention. Talking in the ranks was strictly forbidden and so the young men developed extraordinary ventriloquial skills. In addition, impassivity was required, no matter what might occur, and they discovered that they could exercise monumental self-control.

On one occasion, the WO taking the parade was an imposing Irish Guard of great stature and ferocity, turned out in impeccable style. A small incident, now lost to memory, caused him to remonstrate fervently with the offending cadet, to the entertainment of the young man’s peers. As he got into his verbal stride, seeking ever more amusingly cutting remarks, the WO’s decibel level increased with his creativity. As he reached his apogee, his false teeth flew out and the cadets were hard-pressed to contain their mirth.

History does not record how the teeth were recovered and by whom, though doubtless the story has gone down in the annals of one family somewhere.

Tales from the Academy – Anyone for the 3/9ds?

We live a few miles from the RMAS and can often hear the sound of small arms fire in the wee hours of the night and thus we know that Sandhurst is on exercise (known as manoeuvres in other countries) Exercises are conducted at regular intervals and the weather makes little difference to the plans. It may be hot and humid, foggy, frosty, snowy or cool and dry. Memory suggests that in the 1960s it was usually cold, wet and miserable, with icy rain being directed by north-easterly winds into the frozen visages of miserable cadets in muddy dug-outs. If conditions were extreme ponchos were issued but otherwise the only item each one had to shield him from the elements was a thin army blanket which acted more as a wick for the rain than a protection. Worse even than the ice-block feet was the total boredom as the young men wished themselves elsewhere as they waited for 'things' to happen.

Occasionally the boredom was alleviated by happy chance. The areas in which exercises were organised were generally remote, off the beaten track, isolated, inaccessible . . . except, in some cases, by car. In those self-consciously law-abiding, ostensibly very moral days, young unmarried people were expected to restrain their natural urges and wait for marriage to allow full expression. They were not encouraged to entertain the opposite sex in their bedrooms where in any case the temperature was not very different from the outside. There was no privacy in their homes and no central heating so everyone huddled in the one room that was kept warm. The one place where some sort of seclusion might be found was in a car.

So it was one night that one couple found a secluded spot to take time for themselves, unaware that they were in full view of a number of cadets in camouflage. As the scene unfolded and the car windows became increasingly fogged someone called out, 'Anyone for the 3/9ds?' (that being the price of a cinema ticket at the time)

As soon as the words were spoken the car driver revved up his engine and sped away as fast as the muddy, uneven terrain would allow, leaving behind a chorus of chortling cadets.