The Amazing
Talking Dog
This is my
retelling of a story in our local community magazine. Clicking on the photos will enlarge them - usually.
Walking along a quiet road I passed a house which had a sign
tacked to the tree by the path. It said, ‘Talking Dog for Sale.’ I was
intrigued so I rang the bell. The man who came to the door told me his dog was called
James and he was in the back garden. He invited me to go and see him.
I found a beautiful Dalmatian sitting on the grass. I said, ‘I
hear you can talk. Is that right?’
‘Yes,’ said James and wagged his tail.
I was very excited and asked him to tell me his story.
James yawned and scratched his ear then said, ‘Well, I discovered
I could talk when I was just a pup. I wanted to help the government so I asked
my owner and he approached MI5 for me. They were very interested and in no time
at all I was travelling all over the world, sitting in rooms with world
leaders, eavesdropping. No-one took any notice of me, other than to give me a
few titbits. After all, who would suspect me of being a spy, even though my
name was James?’
I could hardly believe my ears but James had more to say.
‘I was MI5’s most valuable spy for eight years but I was
getting tired of being on the move all the time and I wanted to settle down so I
applied for a job at Heathrow. I did undercover security work there, observing
suspicious characters and listening, always listening. I thwarted some major
plots and alerted the police and customs to some serious crimes. I was awarded
many medals, for bravery, for initiative, for being the best in my sphere of
expertise. I was very proud. After I left Heathrow I met my wife and had some
puppies and now I simply enjoy my retirement.’
I was amazed and decided I would love to have James. I asked
his owner how much he was asking for the dog.
I was astonished when he said, ‘Ten pounds.’
‘Why are you selling him so cheaply? He’s an incredible dog.’
The owner smiled and said, ‘He exaggerates. He’s never even
been out of the garden.’
The story, of course, is not true, but it gave me an excuseto post some photos of the late, great Frodo the Faller, my velcro dog.
