Monday, 23 June 2025

A different visit

 

A different visit

My appointment was for 11:15. I arrived early, booked in, and sat down. Almost immediately my name was called, and I was optimistic that the whole event would soon be completed. After the vision test, and eye pressure check, stinging drops were applied, and I was directed elsewhere.

Along with several others, I sat and waited, and after some time someone official appeared, full of apologies for the delays we were experiencing – too many patients, too few staff, immediate referrals appearing, and so on and so forth. We murmured our thanks for the update.

Anyway, what should have taken a short time – fifteen minutes or so – extended to three hours. Meanwhile, Barry was waiting in the car, listening to a book about Rommel – he had a pet fox, did you know?

Now we’re at home again and Barry, not known for his patience, is trying to self-refer for a hearing test. He is not having much success and is ranting about the poor IT. This is a common complaint and tries my tolerance. It tries his even more. He spent his working life developing large IT systems and knows they should be debugged before being rolled out. The NHS is particularly bad in its operation.

I have been telling him for some time that his hearing is not as good as it used to be. It is quite difficult to converse with him sometimes because he often gives the impression that he hasn’t heard, or, worse, is ignoring me, when he is simply thinking about his answer or something else entirely.

 However, he didn’t ignore me when I pointed out his less than perfect hearing, but neither did he decide to do anything about it, until one of his electronic devices (his ear buds) alerted him to the fact that his hearing is not as acute as it should be. Now, research is ongoing into hearing aids – reviews, reports, problems and so on and so forth . . . and booking a hearing test.

The problem, and it is a valid one, is that he likes to pin everything down so there are no misunderstandings, but in the process ties everyone up in knots with the details.

 Some would call it nit-picking! I don’t because I know he is seeking answers. Most people are extremely helpful, but occasionally, for after all, people are only human, a little irritation creeps in. The most accommodating people are those who understand the questions and can answer them fully and succinctly.

Update: He now has an appointment to see a doctor – that in itself is a minor miracle! – on 2nd July, despite the fact that, and I quote, ‘Individuals over 55 can access free NHS hearing aids and related services through a self-referral pathway for age-relate hearing loss, meaning they don’t need a GP referral if they meet specific criteria.’

Maybe they just want to ascertain that it’s not something else that’s creating the problem. He’s quite sure the hearing discrepancy in his left ear is from his time as a soldier, shooting his rifle left-handed.

 I suggested that he will probably not opt for free hearing aids. I know him well and he will want need something he can fine-tune. He says he would use NHS aids as spares.

We shall see.

36 comments:

  1. I think I had heard somewhere that Rommel had a pet fox - it seems the kind of book I have been looking for today. Sympathy over the stinging eye drops and while not so demanding of a straight story and vest info as B I get his frustration and certainly appreciate when someone gives full information (especially if they do more than simply answer questions and let me know when I'm not asking the right ones.) Great suggestions on body deafened by the way - you win 3 nights in a cabin in Marlborough Sounds.

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  2. I think I'd be a bit concerned about the calibration quality of the hearing aids, and would want to be sure. I had extensive audiologist testing to accurately calibrate and fine tune mine. Expensive but so worth it.

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    1. This is all in hand now, but Barry has done 5 more online tests and found that his hearing is not as bad as I might be suggesting! The audiologist will clarify . . . I hope.

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  3. My beloved also has less hearing now than a decade ago, or as you say he is concentrating on something else. Or is ignoring me more than he used to. Women would rarely avoid examining possible health issues, especially older women. Perhaps this is a male issue.
    I wonder if older male doctors are even worse :(

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    1. Doctors are notoriously bad at managing and monitoring their own health!

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  4. Poor hearing is a problem for all. First it's hard to admit that you have a hearing loss. Then it's tough to make the first move in examination. Then , hearing aids are OK but they are far from perfect. Get the upper level of hearing aid. the noise interferes with hearing on cheaper models. why am I saying all this? You probably know it. I've had hearing aids for 5 or 6 years. I hope you find a good solution.

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    1. A friend has been wearing aids for 15 years or so and the casual observer would never realise. The answer is to get the best you can afford, which is unfair for those who can't afford, really.

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  5. I have problems with my hearing as well. To make matters worse, I think Tim has problems as well. He believes his hearing if fine, but that I mumble.

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  6. Be prepared to raid the savings! Husband has been muttering about his hearing aids approaching end of life and I've been wondering out loud as I'm sure it's not me mumbling. Indeed, I'm beginning to use my 'teacher voice' with a bit of an edge to the words...Today at breakfast one aid fell apart in his hand, and he will ring the hearing aid people this morning. We paid handsomely for them, and it was worth the money. He didn't have a handheld control but managed with the little buttons. Being an IT specialist he did his 'due diligence' beforehand, and had no issues managing the Bluetooth connection to his mobile for audio. These ones were bought in 2019 (he checked his spreadsheet for his analysis) and cost £3300 for the pair. Before you faint, work out how much that is per day. Worth every penny.
    Good luck.
    Psalm He says it may be they just replace the little bitty that broke... or they may show him New! Improved! hearing aids...

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    1. We've already arranged a mortgage for the hearing aids which will suit him best and which will inevitably be the most expensive. 😉😂🤣

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  7. I thought I needed hearing aids years ago when I couldn't understand what people were saying in crowds or places where there was a lot of other noise, but a test showed my hearing was fine and I was tols many people can't hear properly in situations such as I had mentioned. In quieter areas apparently I just needed to pay attention instead of wandering off in my own mind when conversation got boring.

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    1. I don't like large gatherings, and cannot distinguish what people are saying, but that's because I'm trying to listen to everyone's conversation at the same time. FOMO, as they say!

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  8. Hubby wears hearing aids and as others have said they are not cheap, he has NHS ones as spares, but like your hubby he likes to have a set which he can tune to his own needs, I'm sure he has set them not to hear my tone of voice, I repeat many times a day, I have already told you this.

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    1. I think men live inside their own heads, unless there's a gathering of them and then they can listen and chat till the cows come home.

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  9. Well, I wish Barry luck with his hearing tests and hope that he gets a solution that works well for him.
    I have worn NHS aids for more than 25 years now. Not perfect but I manage. I presume he has investigated the downsides... the limitations etc...so will appreciate they are not guaranteed to restore perfect normal hearing. Although the very expensive ones may just do that, I don't know!!

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    1. You may be sure that he will persevere until he has explored every avenue. My father used to have NHS aids and always received free batteries because he was ex-Royal Navy. They served him well.

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  10. Your day sounds like a masterclass in patience, both at the clinic and at home and while the delays and tech frustrations were trying, it’s great to see Barry finally taking steps toward better hearing, even if the road there is, as always, filled with fine print and footnotes

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  11. Hi Janice - that's life I guess ... at least we can access help. I had to call out for help at the weekend. My hearing is fine, as too my eyes I'm thankful. Our eye clinic is always choc-a-bloc - thankfully I only had that one-time visit ... so have experienced your type of visit. Not having a hubby - I just deal with what I need, and then of course all the other people who ask other things and don't think before they ask. Still - ne'er mind for me, it's ok ... good luck to you both!! Cheers Hilary

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    1. Sorry to hear that you've had weekend problems again, Hilary. I hope a solution is found for you soon.

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  12. Hearing loss is something I've dealt with for years. I was able to get free ones through OVR (occupational, vocational, rehabilitation) program through the govt. I had to explain why hearing aids were necessary to keep my job. I can understand wanting good hearing aids though. There are definitely a lot of cheap options out there.

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    1. I'm constantly surprised how many people are dealing with hearing loss, and many of them from a young age. We are bombarded with noise from birth, so I suppose it's to be expected.

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  13. Health care is a royal pain, and I feel your pain dealing with the IT guy. ha ha.. here Bob has to deal with the IT gal.. I am more like your hubby. except I don't listen to books or even read about Rommel . we are all different and its odd how most of us end up living with our opposites

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    1. Opposites attract. I'd be incredibly bored living with someone like me! 😂🤣😎

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  14. My husband isn't about the same shape of yours for hearing or not hearing. However he refuses to do anything about it therefore I have to shout. He's only 68 I'm not sure how many more years I can keep screaming to get his attention, lol.

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  15. When you finally lose your voice, he'll wonder why. 😎

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  16. This obviously strikes a chord with many. I have selective hearing and often don't hear the whole question I'm asked . Certain people get very annoyed but I'm away in another world. Or I take a long time to answer because I'm thinking on it lol
    Don't think I'm getting deaf. Still don't need or want the tv at full volume

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  18. I am a wearer, and I can tell you that they are quite an ongoing expense.

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  19. Your post made me laugh, not the beginning but the hearing problems of Barry ! I could just copy and paste you post into mine ! But at the end he found one without batteries and he put it on charge in the evening (if he didn't forget) ! Then it was better.

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  20. Carlos has hearing aids and while they are not perfect, it's beats having me repeat everything I say two or three times.

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  21. I had the same complaint about Himself years ago. He finally went to get hearing tested and sure enough, he had difficulty hearing. And the frequency he couldn't hear? My voice. He got hearing aids. Very expensive. They live in his night table drawer. He doesn't like wearing them because in a crowd situation, they just amplify the background noise and he still can't hear what is being said to him.

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  22. Sorry about the three hours instead of 15 minutes. Somehow minutes spent in a waiting room also always seem to be extra long, don't they!! Hope all goes well with Barry's hearing aids and I guess if he finds some he's really pleased with that may be worth it. I've no experience of them myself (so far) - but your post reminds me I should book an eye check-up appointment. (Can't blame anyone but myself for delays, this time...)

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  23. I would like Hubby to investigate his hearing issues, but so far he hasn't taken any steps. However, I am confident that when he does he will be like Barry, asking questions until he's satisfied with the information.

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