Things my mother told me

 

Things my mother told me

My mother as a schoolgirl. She was born in 1904.

My mother was not a superstitious woman, nor was she well-educated, in the modern sense; that is to say, she did not have the opportunity to go on to further education.  She was intelligent, creative and self-effacing.  Schooled in classes of 40, she nonetheless learnt to appreciate fiction and poetry and to write clearly and succinctly, more so than many graduates today.

Whenever I saw a spider and drew back in horror and fear, she would say, ‘If you wish to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.’ I don’t remember her explaining why, but somehow grew up with the understanding that spiders were a necessity of life, there to rid the house of flies and thereby bring luck and good health. I was never worried about the tiny money spiders, which were rumoured to engender wealth as well as luck.

This is cited as being in use in Kent since 1867. I was born and brought up in Kent, but my parents were Hampshire Hogs. 

One legend from the Christian tradition claims that the Holy Family was hiding from Herod’s soldiers in a cave. A spider spun a web across the entrance and when the soldiers saw it they reasoned that no-one could have entered the cave recently and so departed without further ado. Thus, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus were saved from discovery and persecution.

My mother told me that a purse given as a gift should never be empty. Just a small coin would suffice to ensure the recipient would never be without funds. An empty purse signified future financial ruin, poor health or bad luck.

She also told me the superstition about breaking mirrors. This was reinforced by my father, so I think their concern was more about the dangers of broken glass.

My parents, circa 1930

Fragments of volcanic glass (obsidian) found in Turkey and dated to 6000 BC are thought to be some of the first mirrors made by man. Man thought that seeing his reflection was seeing his soul looking back at him, so damaging the mirror was tantamount to damaging his soul.  

The ancient Romans also thought the mirror reflected the soul so breaking the mirror was bad luck. They believed the soul regenerated every seven years, so the damaged soul of the smashed mirror would not be renewed for seven years. 

The association of souls and mirrors still holds today in some religious traditions. In observant Jewish households all the mirrors in the house are covered when a death occurs, so that the mourners may concentrate on their personal loss.                              

ABC Wednesday Keys and key rings

It's ABC Wednesday again and our thanks go to the hard-working ABC team whose members, inspired and led by Denise Nesbitt, organise this meme. You know you want to see what others have chosen for K so why not click here?
Recently I wrote about my fascination with stationery – notepaper, pens, pencils, paper clips, drawing pins – in fact, just about anything to do with putting words on paper or putting papers together or on things (so include fridge magnets!) I know my daughters share my enthusiasm – hardly surprising, since their childhood Christmas stockings were stuffed with boxes of pencils, crayons, pens, stickers, unusual post-its. My husband and son are not devotees to the same extent though they both appreciate fine fountain pens. (Ooh, the smell of ink – how wonderful that is!)
There are other things that appeal to me, too, one of which is keys and, by association, key rings. This interest may have arisen in my childhood. When I was five years old my parents bought a shop which sold newspapers, confectionery, tobacco and stationery. We lived in the flat above the shop and the only way into it was through the shop door. There was a back door out to the garden but this was not easily accessible. Anyone wishing to get in that way would have had to climb into the garden of the public house next door and clamber over a brick wall into our garden.
My parents, my father in particular, were very conscious of security and made sure the shop door was securely locked for the night after closing time. Only on one occasion did the nightly check fail and that was the occasion on which my parents woke from a deep sleep to find a beat copper standing at the end of their bed. In those days, police had regular foot patrols around the streets through the night and checked all the locks on business premises. The constable had found the door unlocked and walked through the shop and up two flights of stairs before finding my parents. Thereafter we were all very aware that doors must be checked and double-checked before we could relax.
Eventually I reached an age when I was allowed out on my own and although I wasn't permitted to stay out late there were occasions when I would reach home after the shop had shut. My parents decided I should have a key which I would have to guard very carefully. It was a key at the end of a long shaft and one day, to my horror, it broke as I unlocked the door. Expecting to find myself in trouble I didn't say anything but took it to the local hardware store to see if it could be mended. It couldn't. I had to have a replacement made and that took a few days.
I spent most of my summer holiday at the local outdoor, unheated swimming pool where I met my friends
and would return home at the end of the day when it shut by which time, of course, the shop was also shut. While I waited for the replacement key I made sure I reached home before the door was locked. This was unusual but was not commented on. I realise now that my parents must have known all along what had happened. All the traders knew each other very well and were customers in our shop so it's more than likely that my 'secret' was relayed to my parents long before the new key was safely in my hands. It was never mentioned – very wise, my parents.
In the ensuing years I found keys most interesting. There were tiny keys to safeguard the secrets in private diaries, ornate keys for winding clock mechanisms and jewellery boxes, keys to wind musical boxes or clockwork toys, briefcase and suitcase keys, Allen keys for radiators and bikes and assorted other items and huge mediaeval door keys for churches and manor houses. I liked the idea of a châtelaine as a rather superior housekeeper but I liked the thought of wearing a châtelaine more. (In fact a châtelaine would be a very good idea for Barry but he'd be weighed down by the number of things that would have to be attached to it so we'll continue the daily games of 'find the keys/wallet/pen/remote control/glasses . . . ')
I have never owned a châtelaine but I have had many key rings. Below are photographs of the one I've been using for the last few years.

It's easy to spot!

I was going to give the little leopard key ring to Eve but she was only three then and had no need for keys - so I kept it. I'm sure it was a sign that we would shortly have Ocicats in our home.

These show the front and back of my key ring purse. Susannah gave me this for my birthday. It is just the right size to hold credit cards as well as coins and paper money. You might just be able to see the small bone attached to the end of the chain in the top right-hand corner of the second photograph.

Marie Curie Cancer Care charity shopping trolley token

SSAFA Forces HELP token

door key, Royal Veterinary College token, retractable measure.

Fold-away shopping bag with the Marie Curie logo.

I even have some keys on my key ring!

Five word meme

This is the Five Word Meme. Quilly has given me five words so that I may share my thoughts on them. After you’ve read my meme, if you feel inclined to play along, please say so in the comments and I will send you five words of my choosing. (I will need your email address . . . ;-})

These are the five words Quilly gave me.
1.) Color
2.) Purse
3.) Pizza
4.) Exercise
5.) Irritation

1. Color: If people ask me what is my favourite colour my answer varies according to my mood, the season, even the time of day. On a cold, rainy, dull day the colours I favour will be warm, rich tones of crimson, apricot, chestnut, russet. When I’m feeling optimistic my colours of choice will be bright and clear – fresh apple green, lemon yellow, azure blue. In the morning, particularly if my slumber has been disturbed I will opt for hazy blue and dove grey, soft rosy pink until my brain and eyes have adjusted to a new day. Occasionally I am up in the wee small hours and then my delight is to watch the monochrome night gradually develop subtle colour as the new day dawns and reveals its palette.
2. Purse: I carry a small Fiorelli purse 4 1/2“ x 2 ½”given to me by my middle daughter, Susannah. It is light blue with an appliqué dog on wheels curving round one of the side seams. From the purse hangs a chain at the end of which is a bone. It is attached to my keyring and carries credit cards, some coins, a £20 note, a book of stamps and a spectacle repair kit. Thus, when I go shopping my keys, cards and money are easily found and carried and I don’t have to take a shoulder bag in which to place my purse.
3. Pizza: I like pizza! At home we use our breadmaker to produce pizza dough on which we can put a variety of delicious toppings. The first ingredient is always chopped, sieved tomatoes on top of which we may put courgettes, ham, cheese, olives, cucumber, green beans or anything else which attracts our attention. Occasionally, we have a ‘commercial’ pizza but we prefer our own because we know what has gone into its manufacture.
4. Exercise: I don’t do enough of this, unlike my husband who takes rigorous exercise every day. However, I swim most days since our Endless Pool was completed and I walk the dogs in the forest. I recently (last week) bought an electric bicycle. I like cycling but cannot hack hills – I end up with sore knees. The electric bike is amazing! It has transformed cycling for me and gives the dogs a really good work-out into the bargain. I sail up hills with minimal effort and feel I am cheating by calling it exercise. I still have to pedal, of course, so it’s not entirely a lazy person’s device.
5. Irritation: This can be mental or physical, given or received. As a form of annoyance it may be transient or long-lasting depending on the cause. To be the cause of someone else’s irritation can be upsetting or amusing. Many a teenager has relished the frustration caused by irritating behaviour an adult cannot regulate. Conversely someone who is putting a great deal of effort in trying to please can become distraught if the endeavour engenders more and greater exasperation. In its physical sense it may be intensely painful and enduring as in shingles, or mildly itchy or scratchy and more of a nuisance when brought about by a poorly placed clothing label or stiff cuffs and collar.