Things my mother told me
My mother as a schoolgirl. She was born in 1904.
My mother was not a superstitious woman, nor was she well-educated, in the modern sense; that is to say, she did not have the opportunity to go on to further education. She was intelligent, creative and self-effacing. Schooled in classes of 40, she nonetheless learnt to appreciate fiction and poetry and to write clearly and succinctly, more so than many graduates today.
Whenever I saw a spider and drew back in horror and fear, she would say, ‘If you wish to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.’ I don’t remember her explaining why, but somehow grew up with the understanding that spiders were a necessity of life, there to rid the house of flies and thereby bring luck and good health. I was never worried about the tiny money spiders, which were rumoured to engender wealth as well as luck.
This is cited as being in use in Kent since 1867. I was born and brought up in Kent, but my parents were Hampshire Hogs.
One legend from the Christian tradition claims that the Holy Family was hiding from Herod’s soldiers in a cave. A spider spun a web across the entrance and when the soldiers saw it they reasoned that no-one could have entered the cave recently and so departed without further ado. Thus, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus were saved from discovery and persecution.
My mother told me that a purse given as a gift should never be empty. Just a small coin would suffice to ensure the recipient would never be without funds. An empty purse signified future financial ruin, poor health or bad luck.
She also told me the superstition about breaking mirrors. This was reinforced by my father, so I think their concern was more about the dangers of broken glass.
Fragments of volcanic glass (obsidian) found in Turkey and dated to 6000 BC are thought to be some of the first mirrors made by man. Man thought that seeing his reflection was seeing his soul looking back at him, so damaging the mirror was tantamount to damaging his soul.
The ancient Romans also thought the mirror reflected the soul so breaking the mirror was bad luck. They believed the soul regenerated every seven years, so the damaged soul of the smashed mirror would not be renewed for seven years.
The association of souls and mirrors still holds today in some religious traditions. In observant Jewish households all the mirrors in the house are covered when a death occurs, so that the mourners may concentrate on their personal loss.
When my parents passed away a few months apart, I covered the mirrors for the 7 days of each of their Shiva periods. And yes I assumed this was to focus on the mourning, and not to be diverted by personal vanities like makeup.
ReplyDeleteSome traditions make a lot of sense and I think they bring some comfort.
DeleteMy late mother in law held a lot of those traditions too. She was Scottish and highly superstitious, bless her.
ReplyDeleteThey are lovely photos, thanks for sharing them. xx
Thank you, Joy. x x
DeleteI know of the empty purse superstition.
ReplyDeleteYou must have been born quite late in your mother's life. Either that or you are really, really.... It's a lovely photo.
My mother's mother was of a similar age to your mother and with so little schooling in such large classes and with twelve siblings how did she manage to be so literate and numerate when thirteen years of modern education now can turn out children without either skill? There really is something wrong somewhere in the way children are taught.
I was and I am, but we don't mention it!
DeleteThere is too much diversification in education and more attention should be paid to the three Rs in primary school (up to the age of 11) It's a hobby horse of mine - one of many!!
I knew about the empty purses too and wonder now if that is why I am forever broke? I buy new purses when I need one and they never come with a small coin in them, ha ha.
ReplyDeleteI was schooled in large classes, I think about 35-40 children and the big difference between then and now is the kids were taught at home to sit and listen to the teachers. None of the free-for-all behaviour allowed these days. Also we had weekly tests each Friday morning, allowing teachers, kids and parents valuable insight into whether or not kids were learning or falling behind. also these days, teachers have far too much explanatory paperwork, taking up valuable time when they could be teaching or planning lessons.
We used to have a bread-and-butter morning and a jam afternoon when I was at school and that's how it was when I first started teaching. Now schools have to teach everything and be 'inclusive'. The result is a fractured education with children falling behind because the teacher moves on relentlessly, whether the children have understood or not. The teachers are pressured and so are the children.
ReplyDeleteEducation and intelligence of of course two entirely different things. My grandmother had little in the way of formal education, but she was one of the smartest people I ever knew.
ReplyDeleteVery true.
ReplyDeleteLovely photos. None of this traditional wisdom is familiar. In contrast to your mother, mine did, after attending boarding schools from age 5 to 18, have the opportunity of higher education and obtained a degree in 'Social Studies' from Leeds University, graduating in 1951. She once told me that she had never prepared a meal in her life before she got married, age 26 and the whole traumatic experience of trying to conform to 1950s expectations of being the perfect housewife did make her determined at least to teach her daughter to cook!
ReplyDeleteCheers, Gail.
Your mother must have been quite unusual in her generation. Boarding school from 5 sounds dreadful, though I know it wasn't uncommon in some circumstances.
DeleteOh my, you certainly come from the lucky in beauty gene deparment. Lovely photos. When we were children we believed superstitions- step on a crack- black cat- under the ladder- salt over the shoulder- bless you after a sneeze. Glad to have outgrown that! I was a nervous mess.
ReplyDeleteRemembering to honour all the superstitions could drive a believer mad . . . ;-)
DeleteI recall all of these saying or supersttions. My grandmother always put a nickel in apurse she was giving away. Loveley pictures!
ReplyDeleteWe still observe the traditions, but for interest's sake, as part of the culture. Mind you, we don't still dunk witches in the village pond!
DeleteMy parents were born in 1914/18 easy not to forget. Your mirror story reminded me that in some Muslim countries, people didn't want that you take a photo of them because you stole their soul ! But ! If I gave them some money then they would let me stole their soul ! Business is business.
ReplyDeleteThat's a common belief among isolated communities. Yes, money often helps to overcome 'fear'.
DeleteWe've got a saying here that breaking a mirror means having seven unlucky years, which kind of ties in with the Romans believing that the soul regenerates every seven years ...
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how some superstitions are recognised across the world and others are very local.
ReplyDelete