Writing without thinking
Most people have had to paraphrase. It is something that villainous teachers demand of their reluctant students. The advice runs along the tracks of, ‘Read and inwardly digest, then rewrite in your own words.’
Just as a calculator is not helpful to those who have not grasped the basic principles of arithmetic, so can a thesaurus lead the unwary astray.
‘It was a dark and stormy night and the Captain said to his mate, “Tell us a story.”.’
can become
‘It was an obscure and passionate dark and the Boss revealed to his partner, “Voice us a floor.”.’
Top marks for effort, but many fewer for comprehension. It could be worse. if the paraphraser decided to try more ambitious vocabulary, excited by the words but not having a clear understanding of nouns, verbs and adjectives.
‘It existed a dim and hot-blooded brunette and the Torment displayed to his accompany, “Caution to us an item.”.’
In an effort to make our writing more interesting, less formulaic, less prone to cliché, we search for different ways to say ‘said’. So our characters gasp, sigh, shout, scream, whisper, implore, question, cry instead of simply 'saying'.
Our characters never walk – they sway, sashay, march, stagger, stumble, totter, trip, race, hurry, and never do they start an engine – it is powered up, and so is a computer.
"It was a dark and stormy night and the Captain said to his mate, tell us a story"
ReplyDeleteThe night was black and thundering, waves were crashing and to his mate the Captain said, "spin us a tale, son"
Much better!
DeleteSpeaking as someone who has read a lot of indie writing recently - the amount of huffing and lurching going on is alarming. Mind you, I can't talk. My characters are always sighing.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite amusing sometimes to read 'excitable' writing.
DeleteUsing synonyms and différents ways of telling the same thing can be innovative but not an easy task.
ReplyDeleteYes, it can be very difficult.
DeleteA thesaurus can be a useful tool but as you say, you do need some understanding of the word you're trying to replace. I never enjoyed English lessons at school, I always preferred Maths.
ReplyDeleteYou must have had good maths teachers. I hated maths and am only now becoming more comfortable with it.
DeleteIt's chucking it down out there. What's the goss, mate?
ReplyDeleteSuccinct! I like it.
DeleteHave you been playing with ChatGPT?
ReplyDeleteA few I've have noticed about transport over the years as not using the obvious word, trams glide along streets (you need to be on the tram to judge how hard the g forces are), they climb a hill and they swing around corners.English buses seem quite smooth, but here buses aptly rattle along. Trains climb a bank and descend a steep hill. You can't get on a public transport vehicle. You must board it. If your train breaks down at a station, you may have have to detrain. A full list would be very long.
I haven't tried ChatGPT - perhaps I should.
DeleteAfter you've detrained do you have to retrain?
Good question and I don't know the answer.
DeleteAuthors that never have a character walking - but always doing all that list you included - drive me nuts!
ReplyDeleteQuite!
DeleteAlthough as a non-native speaker, I sometimes resort to consulting a thesaurus to avoid repetition, there's a fine line between making things interesting and making them unreadable. Your examples are nothing if not hilarious, but I'm absolutely loving River's version! xxx
ReplyDeleteBetter than the original, I think :-) x x x
DeleteToo difficult for me ! I don't get the comments in my emails, do you know why ? It's since the 25th of July and apparently I am not the only one !
ReplyDeleteBlogger blogging about again . . .
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