True-born Englishman

 

True-born Englishman

 When I hear someone claiming to be a ‘true Englishman’ I smile somewhat mirthlessly and sigh. There’s no such thing. It is an example of ‘English cultural xenophobia’, a lovely phrase I’ve just picked up from Daniel Defoe, which perfectly describes the attitude of so many of my compatriots.

'The True-Born Englishman' was written by Daniel Defoe in 1701.

Among our many forebears are the Britons, who came from Armenia, the Beaker people from Iberia, who built Stonehenge, the Celts from central Europe and the Romans, twice, in 55-54 BC, and AD 43- 87. Following this came the Anglo-Saxon period, which lasted until the Norman invasion of 1066-1071. Norman rule lasted from AD 1066 to 1154, the time of the Anarchy, the civil war between England and Normandy.

 Thereafter, England remained in ‘English’ hands, some of doubtful lineage, until the Dutch Prince William of Orange was asked to take the throne. He reigned from 1689 – 1702, alongside his wife, Mary, who died in 1694.   

Daniel Defoe (1660-1731) wrote a satirical poem to defend William III against the xenophobic attacks of his political foes. The following extract encapsulates his stance.

Thus from a Mixture of all Kinds began,
That Het'rogeneous Thing, An Englishman:
In eager Rapes, and furious Lust begot,
Betwixt a Painted Britain and a Scot.
Whose gend'ring Off-spring quickly learn'd to Bow,
And yoke their Heifers to the Roman Plough:
From whence a Mongrel half-Bred Race there came,
With neither Name, nor Nation, Speech or Fame.
In whose hot Veins new Mixtures quickly ran,
Infus'd betwixt a Saxon and a Dane.
While their Rank Daughters, to their Parents just,
Receiv'd all nations with promiscuous lust.
This Nauseous Brood directly did contain
The well extracted Blood of Englishmen.

Thus, as I have always contended, we English are a mongrel race and mongrels are often stronger than purebreds J

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 Z is for Zest

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

Z is the ultimate letter in this sequence of 26 short stories of 250 words or fewer. This final story is just a little longer – 385 words. All the stories are about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

Z is forZest

Alice shepherded everyone into the sitting room. It was a tight squeeze but everyone found a seat. The granddaughters sat on the floor while their babies and toddlers played around them.

The last time the whole family had gathered was for Norman’s funeral three years previously. Alice’s 85^th birthday made a good excuse to meet under happier circumstances. Emily and her family had travelled from Paris the previous day. Alice didn’t see them very often though she did occasionally travel by Eurostar to visit them. Rebecca’s children lived in and around London and she  saw them more frequently, though they were very busy – no-one could live in London and not be busy, she thought. It was Ted’s family she saw most – they all lived nearby – and of course, Ruth was a regular visitor.

While Alice played with her great-grandchildren her daughters organised tea. Afterwards she unwrapped a mound of gaily-wrapped gifts and was touched by the thought that had gone into them – National Trust membership, a subscription to a favourite magazine, gardening and book tokens, a large print of one of her favourite photographs, a voucher for a spa day. Then Rebecca’s husband gave her a DVD and urged her to play it for all of them. He had compiled it from family photographs and video recordings and set it to music.

Alice’s life unfolded before her. Monochrome gave way to colour and she thought that was a fine allegory for life. There were her parents and her three strong brothers. What fine young men they had been. Here was Norman, smiling into the camera, looking ridiculously young and so proud on their wedding day. She watched her babies grow into toddlers and then into young adults with babies of their own. The final photograph was of all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, including the youngest, four-month-old Rosie.

Everyone clapped and cheered and Ted produced a bottle of champagne with a reassurance that there were another two in the fridge so there would be plenty for everybody. They drank Alice’s health and commended her zest for life. She nodded and smiled, quite overcome.

Later, after everyone had left, Alice watched her DVD again, pausing it now and then to study an image more closely. ‘What a wonderful gift,’ she thought. ‘Photographs hold the greatest memories.’

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 Y is for Yarn

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

Y is the penultimate letter in this sequence of 26 short stories of 250 words or fewer. All the stories are about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

Y is forYarn

Through all the years of their marriage Norman was always able to make Alice laugh. He had a sense of the ridiculous and one of the things Alice loved about him was his ability to spin a yarn. He could elaborate on the most mundane event until his audience was laughing so hard they were gasping for breath. It didn’t matter to her that she had heard his stories many times before. A large part of her enjoyment was seeing the pleasure they brought to others. A shared sense of humour was one of the most important things in any relationship, she thought.

She considered her children. Ted had a pronounced sense of fun. He stopped short of practical jokes and she was grateful for that. It always seemed a cruel kind of humour that made people anxious or embarrassed them.

Rebecca shared Norman’s aptitude for story-telling and revelled in her daughters’ antics. She was quite as skilled as he at holding her listeners’ attention.

Emily, Alice’s youngest child, was quieter than her siblings, more introspective. She often said she couldn’t tell a joke to save her life and it was true – she always forgot the punch line – but she loved puns and witty repartee.  Alice supposed Emily was more like her than Norman, though Alice never claimed to be witty.

Alice was pleased that each of them had partners with whom they could share laughter. Laughter, as well as love, made the world go round.

April A-Z blogging challenge X is for X-ray

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

X is the next letter for stories in this sequence of 26 short stories of 250 words or fewer. All the stories are about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

X is for X-ray

Alice had never broken more than a fingernail. The day she slipped in the kitchen she lay on the floor, gazing at the ceiling and wondering if it would be advisable to try and get up. Her elbow hurt but she thought everything else was in working order.

Norman called out, ‘Is tea ready?’ and Alice grimaced as she replied, ‘Not quite. I’m a bit incapacitated at the moment.’

Norman came to investigate. As soon as he saw her he said, ‘I’ll call an ambulance.’ Alice told him not to be silly but despite her protests he insisted she should at least have her arm x-rayed. He drove her to the hospital where she joined a waiting room full of patients in varying states of medical distress.

It was an opportunity to see Joe Public at his most vulnerable. A young mother nursed a small baby and comforted her little girl who was whimpering in pain. An older boy with a face as pale as his sports kit held his arm protectively against his body and tried to joke with his pals. A man in workman’s dusty overalls sat stoically staring ahead out of the eye that wasn’t covered with a bandage. Ambulance men carried in a still form on a stretcher.  Alice shivered, feeling she was there under false pretences.

After several hours her arm was x-rayed; as she expected, it wasn’t fractured. She returned home, exhausted. She realised afresh how fortunate she was. A bruised arm was nothing.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 W is for Wisdom

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

The next story in this sequence of short stories of 250 words or fewer starts with W. All the stories are about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

W is for Wisdom

For most of her life Alice felt like a child, learning from other people. Even as a grandmother she doubted her competence to offer advice. Everyone around her seemed so knowledgeable and younger people were the most intimidating. She wondered if she would ever feel sensible and mature.

One Christmas a few years after Ivy’s death, she and Norman were staying with Rebecca. They overheard their son.

‘Mum was the one I took my troubles to. She listened, really listened, and she always knew what to do. When I was growing up she was the only person I could talk to and she was never shocked by anything I said.’

Then came Rebecca’s voice. ‘Mum’s a great listener, very wise. She won’t give advice unless she’s asked and even then she makes it sound as though you’ve found the answer for yourself. I wish I could be like her.’

Alice felt her ears burning and a flush suffusing her face. Could they really be talking about her? Was that all wisdom was? Listening and advising when you’re asked? She knew it must involve more than that – experience, of course, the sum of little things. She felt ridiculously happy and suddenly quite grown-up.

Norman squeezed her hand and whispered, ‘You’re my very own Wise Woman. You cast your spell on me the first time we met.’

Alice snorted. ‘You make me sound like a witch,’ she said.

‘Oh, yes, that’s what I meant,’ said Norman and winked.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 U is for Umpteen

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

The next story in this sequence of short stories of 250 words or fewer starts with U. All the stories are about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.


Oops! My chronology went a bit wrong!! Emily is married the year of Ivy's birthday and has four small children immediately . . . Ted's twins, born the same year, have mysteriously had babies themselves . . . oh dear - and it was all going so well;-)

U is for Umpteen

Ivy’s 90^th birthday was an excuse for a family get-together. Their house was too small to accommodate everyone so Alice and Norman booked a hotel and reserved rooms for all the family.

Ivy thought she was going out for lunch and then to a matinee so when she walked into the hotel restaurant and saw her entire family clapping and smiling she was speechless. Lunch ensued with much laughter and chatter. Ivy was delighted to see Emily with her four small grandchildren, three girls and a baby boy. She didn’t see her or her family very often as she lived in France. The little girls spoke French to her and she spoke English to them and they all got along splendidly.

After lunch the head chef brought Ivy a beautiful cake decorated with fresh flowers. He helped her cut the cake and complimented her on her beautiful family.  

‘You have so many daughters and granddaughters,’ he said.

‘Granddaughters and great-granddaughters,’ she corrected with a smile. ‘Umpteen of them.’

She sat with Alice and Ruth and her older granddaughters and their babies and watched as the younger cousins played together. She noted the similarities between them as well as the differences and recognised gestures that reminded her of John or Charles. The newest baby boy, just a few months old, resembled Daniel. She sighed. Poor Daniel.

‘Enough of that,’ she scolded herself. ‘You are a very lucky woman.’

She turned to Alice. ‘Thank you so much,’ she said. ‘This is perfect.’

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 T is for Tempus Fugit

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

The next story in this sequence of 26 short stories of 250 words or fewer about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice brings us to T.

T is for Tempus Fugit

No sooner had Alice and Norman accepted the responsibilities of parenthood than their children were transformed into adults or so it seemed. The traumas of childhood and adolescence and the hurdles of examinations and first job interviews had been conquered. Norman and Alice considered their children as friends. She knew how fortunate they were. Some of their friends were estranged from their children.

Ivy was 89 and still living in her own home. A few years previously she suggested Ruth move in with her. They each worried about the other so it was to their mutual benefit they should live together. Ruth had trained as a nurse and was a practice nurse at the local surgery. Returning to her empty house each day had become burdensome. Now she went home to Ivy’s cooking and warm companionship. It was most satisfactory.

Emily’s 21^st birthday in October was cause for celebration and she chose the occasion to announce her engagement. She planned to marry her French fiancé the following year and they would be starting their married life in Paris. Everyone cheered.

There was a further announcement. Ted said, ‘I don’t want to hog my little sister’s special day but I thought you’d like to know we’re expecting twins next March.’

There was general uproar and much kissing and hugging. Ivy said, ‘I’ll have to look out my crochet patterns.’

Alice smiled at Norman. ‘We’ve only been parents for what feels like five minutes. Now we’re going to be grandparents. Time flies.’

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 S is for Silver

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

S is the next letter in this sequence 26 short stories - 250 words or fewer- about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

S is forSilver

Alice and Norman had a garden party to celebrate their Silver Wedding anniversary in 1981. It’s always a gamble organising an outdoor event in England but August that year was mostly warm and dry and the day of the party dawned bright and clear.

Alice watched Norman as he chatted with their guests. His hair was greying and receding at the temples and his laughter lines were deepening but he was still a good-looking man. Alice had discovered silver in her hair, too, but her hairdresser disguised it.

She looked at her children, young adults now. Edward John, more usually called Ted these days, was studying medicine and intended to marry once he had qualified.  Rebecca was a journalist on the local paper and hoped to make a career in the national dailies one day. Emily, sweet sixteen, was considering teaching as a profession.  

Alice breathed in the jasmine-scented air and smiled. She was so fortunate.

Her mother hadn’t been so lucky. She had lost all three sons. Though Daniel still lived his mind had wandered far away. John had died fourteen years ago and Ivy was lonely. Norman had offered to build a ‘granny annexe’ so she could live with them but she had declined - she valued her independence. Ruth spent a lot of time with her but Alice wondered if that was always helpful. They had both loved Daniel and grieved for him. Raking over the past didn’t help either of them, visiting Daniel even less so.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 O is for October

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012

O is for the fifteenth of 26 short stories - 250 words or fewer - about the life and times of a fictional character called Alice.

O is for October

In October 1957 Alice’s first child was born. When Ivy visited her in hospital she gazed at the pleated face of her grandson. He yawned and opened his fathomless navy blue eyes.

‘Have you thought of any names?’ Ivy asked.

‘Norman and I decided on Edward John,’ said Alice. Her mother blinked back tears and looked down at the baby.

‘He has a look of Edward about him,’ she said softly as the baby grasped her finger.

As Edward John grew into a sturdy toddler his resemblance to his late uncle intensified. Even Norman’s parents, who had only ever seen photographs of Edward as a young man, remarked on the likeness.

Daniel’s perpetual gloom lifted whenever he saw his nephew. The lines of pain scored on his face softened and Ruth, watching him, glimpsed a shadow of the young man she had married. Not for the first time she wondered if her marriage would have been happier if there had been children. The little boy was quieter when he was with Daniel, as though he sensed an unquiet soul.

For Ivy, he was her lost son returned. His temperament was exactly that of Edward’s. He was a mischievous, loving child, often in scrapes and full of smiles. His infectious giggle made everybody laugh, particularly Ivy, whose face lit up every time she saw him. The years of sorrow dropped away and she became again the spirited woman she had been before the war.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 N is for Norman

N starts the second half the alphabet and brings the fourteenth of 26 short stories - 250 words or fewer - about Alice’s life and times.

N is for Norman

Norman considered himself fortunate to have married Alice. She was different to other girls he had known, intelligent and more mature, and he enjoyed their conversations about books. He had met her in the library where she worked.

Norman was an only child and his parents were delighted to welcome Alice into their family. She felt at home with them instantly. They never referred to the war. ‘The past is the past,’ they said. ‘We look forward to the future.’ Alice contrasted this attitude with her mother’s. Ivy couldn’t forget.

Norman had liked Alice’s parents immediately but had been disturbed by her brother. Daniel was like many soldiers he had met, more damaged mentally than physically though there was no denying that losing both legs was hard for anyone to adjust to.

He had spent two years in the army at the end of the war and was lucky to have escaped injury. He had seen others killed and maimed and thought his life was a tremendous gift. He determined not to dwell on the past but make his future the best it could be. He tried to strike up a friendship with Daniel, discussing topics he might be interested in, but Daniel could only talk about how the war had blighted his life. After a while Norman abandoned any hope of having a meaningful relationship with him. Alice was grateful to him for trying but understood that it was impossible. Daniel was essentially lost to them all. 

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 M is for Marriage

M marks the middle of the alphabet and the thirteenth episode in 26 short stories of 250 words or fewer about Alice’s life and times.

M is for Marriage

Alice and Norman were married on a cool August day in 1956. Ruth didn’t attend. She told Ivy Daniel wasn’t well and she must look after him. Alice was sad but not surprised.  

John swelled with pride as he walked his daughter down the aisle and Ivy dabbed at her eyes and hoped there would be some grandchildren soon.

After the reception the newly-weds left for a hill-walking honeymoon in Wales. Ivy and John returned to their empty house, exhausted after a long day.

‘I hope they’ll be happy,’ said Ivy.

‘I’m sure they will be,’ said John. ‘They’re a lovely couple.’

‘We’ve been happy, haven’t we?’ said Ivy, ‘Despite everything?’

John squeezed her hand. ‘Of course we have,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t have asked for a better wife or a happier life.’

‘The boys?’ said Ivy.

John considered his answer carefully. ‘I wish they were with us as much as you do, but they’re not and we have to carry on, like so many others.’

Ivy nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. ‘I still hope . . . ‘

‘I know but it’s been too long. If, by some miracle Edward had survived, he would have found his way home by now.’

They sat in silence, holding hands, lost in thought. A knock at the door made them jump. Ivy’s hand flew to her mouth as John went to open it. Ruth had come to ask about the wedding. She sounded genuinely sorry she hadn’t gone.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 J is for John

Continuing 26 short stories – 250 words or fewer - about Alice’s life and times, we arrive at J.

J is forJohn

John’s job in the police force often involved danger and he had seen more of the dark side of human nature than he felt anyone should have to experience.  His overriding instinct was to protect his family.

When war was declared he felt a dull ache in the pit of his stomach that remained with him throughout its duration. He knew his sons would be called up eventually but when all three enlisted within a few months he knew a mixture of pride and fear.

He watched as worry consumed his wife and extinguished joy. He felt the loss of their sons as keenly as she but held no false hopes for Edward, grieving for him as he did for Charles. Though he would never have confessed it, in his heart he thought it would have been kinder for everyone if Daniel had died too - his torment continued and increased. His bitterness drained the life and energy from Ruth. She maintained a facade of optimism but John glimpsed the despair in her eyes when she thought no-one was looking.

Alice was the only one who had escaped relatively unscathed. She mourned the loss of her brothers and did her best to encourage Daniel, yet was able to move on and anticipate the future. John was delighted when she introduced Norman. It was refreshing to share the company of an optimistic young man who had survived the horrors of war and felt no need to dwell on them.

April A-Z blogging challenge 2012 I is for Ivy

The ninth of 26 short stories – 250 words or fewer - about Alice’s life and times is about Ivy.

I is for Ivy

Alice’s mother Ivy had withstood the privations of war and shown immense strength when news came of Edward’s loss and Charles’ death. She knew Edward was dead but a part of her clung to the hope that he would return one day. Miracles sometimes happened. In her bleaker moments she wondered at the wisdom of such hope. Daniel had returned maimed in body and spirit. He had learnt to walk on artificial legs but his mind remained caught in the horrors of war.

When Daniel was discharged from hospital he and Ruth moved into a small house nearby. Ivy protested that he should come home to his family where everyone could look after him but Ruth insisted he needed peace and quiet. Ivy had not argued but she and Ruth were no longer as close as they had been. 

Alice knew Ruth was right. Her mother hovered over Daniel and made him uneasy. Her artificial brightness and attempts to jolly him along irritated him. Ruth’s quieter manner soothed him. Alice learnt from Ruth and moderated her behaviour when she visited. She wished her mother would do likewise. She couldn’t bear the sadness in Ivy’s eyes when Daniel brushed her away. She hated the despair etching lines ever deeper on Ruth’s face. Most of all she couldn’t accept that Daniel was broken beyond repair.

In 1950 Alice introduced her boyfriend to her family. Norman had seen three years’ action in the war. Ivy was elated.  Meeting Norman might help Daniel.