Answers

 

Answers

1:  Mr Robinson wanted a house in which all the windows in every room faced south. How did he achieve this?

He built a house at the North Pole, so everything faced south.

2:  John and Jim were swept out to sea on their air beds. John was nearly saved and Jim was nearly drowned. Which of them donated a week’s wages to the lifeboat institute?

Jim. Jim was nearly drowned but actually was saved. John was nearly saved but actually was drowned.

3:  One man has three sacks of corn on his back, and another man is carrying four sacks on his back. Which of them has the heavier load?

The three sacks of corn are heavier than four empty sacks.

4:  What is the difference between an old, crumpled, torn £10 note and a new one? (Adjust your currency according to your circumstances.)

The difference between a £10 note and a one is £9. (We have £1 coins rather than notes, but I suppose it still works.)

5:  Which would burn longer – a short, fat blue candle, or a tall, twisted yellow candle?

Neither. Candles burn shorter.

6:  An electric train travels north at 75 miles per hour. The wind is blowing from the east at 40 mph. In which direction will the smoke from the train blow?

Electric trains don’t produce smoke.

7:  A donkey was tied to a six-yard rope. How did it manage to eat a pile of hay seven yards away without biting through the rope?

The other end of the rope wasn’t attached to anything.

 

Time for some more nonsense

 

Time for some more nonsense

More groaners for you clever people. Answers tomorrow.

1:  Mr Robinson wanted a house in which all the windows in every room faced south. How did he achieve this?

2:  John and Jim were swept out to sea on their air beds. John was nearly saved and Jim was nearly drowned. Which of them donated a week’s wages to the lifeboat institute?

3:  One man has three sacks of corn on his back, and another man is carrying four sacks on his back. Which of them has the heavier load?

4:  What is the difference between an old, crumpled, torn £10 note and a new one? (Adjust your currency according to your circumstances.)

5:  Which would burn longer – a short, fat blue candle, or a tall, twisted yellow candle?

6:  An electric train travels north at 75 miles per hour. The wind is blowing from the east at 40 mph. In which direction will the smoke from the train blow?

7:  A donkey was tied to a six-yard rope. How did it manage to eat a pile of hay seven yards away without biting through the rope?

 

Snow globes

 

Snow globes

Snow globes originated from glass paperweights in the late nineteenth century. The first person to patent a design was Erwin Perzy, an Austrian inventor and maker of surgical instruments. His descendants still produce Schneekugeln.

My globe is glass, but many modern globes are made of plastic, and are often produced as souvenirs. Some include musical boxes and moving parts. The ultimate may be the ones with electric motors which mean that the owners no longer have to turn the globe upside down to initiate the ‘snowfall.’

 

Amaryllis progress

 

Amaryllis progress

The plant I bought before Christmas is slowly opening one bud. There is no colour showing yet. The bud on the shorter stem looks as though it may not come to anything, but I’m happy to be proved wrong.

The two bulbs I planted are showing signs of growth. Each one has a small area of green emerging from the bulb. The conservatory bulb is less advanced than the one in the sitting room, though that may not be significant in the long run. At this point I cannot see them ever producing anything more than green leaves, but time will tell.

Cultured cat

 

Cultured cat

Recently, we watched a recording of English National Ballet dancing Derek Deane’s production of ‘Swan Lake.’  It was recorded at the Royal Albert Hall in 2024. It was wonderful to see it danced ‘in the round’ and the camera work was phenomenal.

There were sixty ‘swans’ and they caught Herschel’s attention. If he could have joined them, he would have done. He also enjoyed the evil sorcerer Rothbart’s frenetic flight around the stage in his splendid costume. He looked like a huge, threatening bird of prey.

Rothbart and Odette

Superlative dancing, glorious costumes, and Tchaikovsky’s music created a superb production and one we highly recommend.

Is it dry?

 

Is it dry?

At this time of year, washing generally cannot be hung out to dry. If it is, it freezes on the line, drips all day, or achieves a measure of dryness only to be rained on – something we call ‘an extra rinse.’ Thus, we resort to an airer and/or the tumble dryer.

Laundry in the tumble dryer is warm and can give the impression of dryness. When it cools it sometimes becomes apparent that it is still damp.

The dryness, or otherwise, of laundry has become, if not a bone of contention, at least a subject for discussion. Barry has resorted to using a ‘wood dampness’ monitor. The washing thereafter passed ‘satisfactory’ is presented to me for sorting and folding. All too often it is still, to my senses, damp. It is then returned to the tumble dryer or draped around the fireguard in front of the stove.

Occasionally, I decide to ignore my adjudication, reasoning that ‘it must surely be dry by now’ only to regret that decision when the mustiness of a garment proves that I was right all along and it has to be washed again. 

I really should not be feeling guilty because I don’t agree with the dampness monitor!

Karlovy Vary

 

Karlovy Vary

This attractive scene appeared on my screen recently. It depicts the city of Karlovy Vary in Bohemia in the Czech Republic. It is named after Charles IV, the King of Bohemia and Holy Roman Emperor who founded it in the 14^th century.

Also known as Carlsbad, it is a well-known spa – the name translates as ‘Charles’ Baths.’ It is one of the ‘Great Spa Towns of Europe,’ as listed in the UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2021.

In addition to its fifteen springs, the most extraordinary being a geyser expelling hot water to a height of twelve metres. Karlovy Vary has beautifully preserved architecture from the eighteenth century onwards. A local glassworks is an additional attraction.

It became a fashionable destination for wealthy European aristocrats in the nineteenth century, but its rise in popularity stalled when war was declared in 1914. After 1989, when the Communist régime had been overthrown, it once more became an appealing place for tourists.

Lord Nelson

 

Lord Nelson

                                            850 'Lord Nelson'

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Designed by Richard Maunsell in 1926 for Southern Railway (1923-1947), the Lord Nelson class of steam locomotives operated until 1962. Sixteen engines were built, all named after famous British admirals and explorers. The first engine was named Lord Nelson, and gave its name to the whole class. They were intended for high-speed passenger work.

All the locomotives were scrapped except for Lord Nelson, which can still be seen operating on heritage railways and special tours on mainlines throughout Britain.

            850 'Lord Nelson' crossing the Dandrymire Viaduct, Garsdale

                                Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Under the weather

 

Under the weather . . .

. . . is where I have been for a short, unexciting while.

Lord Nelson, painted by Lemuel Francis Abbott, 1799

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

This expression first appeared in print at the beginning of the nineteenth century and had its origin in maritime slang. Not all sailors are immune from seasickness, one most famous sufferer being Admiral Lord Nelson, who wrote, “I am ill every time it blows hard and nothing but my enthusiastic love for my profession keeps me one hour at sea."

The complete original phrase was ‘under the weather bow,’ the weather bow being the side of the ship receiving the full effects of foul weather. Seasick sailors would be sent below to ride out the storm.

It has been suggested that eighty percent of people who make their living on boats are afflicted with seasickness, though I cannot imagine such a percentage of a ship’s crew would be relieved of their duties. It seems much more likely that they would be ‘encouraged’ to continue despite their ails.

 

 

The Scream

 

The Scream

Edvard Munch (1863-1944) created this startling artwork in 1893. Munch had been walking at sunset when the clouds turned ‘blood red.’ He sensed that the natural world was deeply disturbed and showed the figure in the picture shielding its ears from the screaming noise made by tortured Nature.

There is no explanation for the unusual phenomenon of the sky’s bright and unusual appearance. Some suggested that it was the memory of the effects of a volcanic eruption that Munch had seen some years earlier. Others suggest that he had a panic attack; Munch was subject throughout his life to ill health, and a fear of developing mental illness.

This little jigsaw had fifty pieces and was one of several small jigsaws I bought as stocking fillers.

 

Amaryllis (Hippeastrum)

 

Amaryllis (Hippeastrum)

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

I haven’t grown amaryllis before but was inspired to try by Marlene at ‘Poppy Patchwork’ and Kirsten from ‘A Letter from Home,’ both of whom are recording the progress of their amaryllis plants. Before Christmas, I looked at various bulbs.

I considered a waxed amaryllis. This is a fuss-free form of bulb that requires nothing more than light. It is enclosed in a covering of wax and should produce flowers within six weeks. After flowering, the wax can be peeled off and the bulb composted or planted in soil in the hope of flowering the following year.

I had read that amaryllis can be difficult to encourage into flower in subsequent years and wondered if a previously wax-coated bulb might prove to be even more difficult. I decided against it and ordered a conventional ‘Royal Red’ bulb, already planted in a pot. 

It arrived on Christmas Eve and has grown tall and strong. It has two robust stems and the flower bud on the taller one looks ready to break open very soon.

Then I decided to try a different colour amaryllis and sent off for a red and white striped ‘Dancing Queen’ bulb. To my surprise, two bulbs arrived a couple of days ago.

 They have now been planted. One will remain in the conservatory, where it will get oodles of light, and the other will join ‘Royal Red’ next to the patio door in the sitting room, where the light, though good, is less abundant. It will be interesting to see if they respond differently. It can be six to eight weeks before they flower.

Snow in 2010

January 2010

We had a lot of snow in the winter of 2010 - a lot for this part of the world, anyway. At that time, we had four dogs – two Dalmatians, Frodo the Faller and Buddy Liver Spots, and two working Labradors, Jenna and baby Gus. 

Buddy Liver Spots and Jenna

They loved the snow. The air was crisp, the smells enhanced, the sensation under their paws different – soft and cold – but they didn’t stay out long enough to get chilled. It was cold, but there was no wind to pinch their ears and noses.

 Gus in a drift

Where the snow had drifted, it was easy for the Labradors almost to disappear, especially Gus, as he was only a few months old and still smaller than tiny Jenna, the little dog with the enormous paws.

 Gus checks . . .

Jenna retrieving, plumy tail waving as ever.

'Follow my leader'

The ball almost luminesces

Frodo often sniffed and licked Buddy's face. He was very fond of him.

Frodo, my Velcro dog, always kept close to me, but also adored Buddy, who was almost blind by then, having recovered from meningitis. Buddy enjoyed his walks but was kept on a long lead as he had a habit of wandering off at speed in the wrong direction, and then worrying because he had no idea where he was. The more he worried, the faster he trotted.

January 2026

This is the snow we've had so far this year. There may be more later on. 

We have had some very heavy frosts and a little fog. Heavy rain is forecast but will probably pass us by.

The bells, the bells!

 

The bells, the bells!

                                                Image source

The crackers we pulled at Christmas with our youngest daughter and her family contained small musical bells. There were eight crackers. wrapped in manuscript paper and ribbons, and we were able to play a selection of simple tunes with them. There were six of us so two people had two bells each. They were great fun. Jack was entertained for a very long time after lunch, following the ‘manuscript’ and playing the bells. Each bell carried a number from 1 to 8.

The crackers we pulled with our middle daughter on Christmas Day were beautifully packaged. I took the miniature cones and ribbons from them and put them on the small growing Christmas tree in the conservatory. Those crackers contained what were described as ‘superior’ gifts, and they were rather nice. One, a small silver whistle, was effective at summoning the dogs from the garden.

Quasimodo never actually utters ‘The bells, the bells,’ in ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame,’ but his life is enmeshed with the bells of the cathedral of Notre Dame.

A different sort of bells, which make no clanging noise, are ‘The Bells The Bells’ in Gogarth, North Wales. ‘The Bells The Bells’ is a steep, exposed cliff rising from the sea, on the small Holy Island off the west coast of Anglesey. The rock is quartzite.

                                              Image source

It constitutes an extreme climbing route, considered one of the most difficult and dangerous climbs in Britain. It was first climbed in 1980 by John Redhead, and is rarely climbed because of its severity. A fall could be fatal so planning the climb is supremely important.

I have never climbed, but have read several books by mountaineers. They are more than exciting enough and I am constantly amazed at the skill and audacity of climbers and perturbed by their drive. They climb because the mountains exist, defying and challenging puny humans to overcome them. 

Trousseau?

 

Trousseau?

Image source

Once upon a time, many moons ago, a young lady who was courting might turn her thoughts to assembling her trousseau. Trousseau derives from the French trousse, which means a bundle

A collection of linen, household goods, clothing and valuables like jewellery or silver would be stored in a ‘bottom drawer’ in the UK (a hope chest in USA or glory box in Australia.) It was the equivalent in some ways of a dowry, an indication of how much material wealth a woman would bring to a marriage – the richer the bride’s family, the more valuable the contents of the trousseau.

The custom persisted until the middle of the twentieth century, when it had evolved from dowry-like contents to items suitable for setting up home with the lucky suitor.

Anyway, what brought this to mind was the bottom drawer in the chest of drawers in my bedroom. It is the place where odd socks go to hibernate. When a pair of socks is called for because the housekeeper hasn’t performed her duties efficiently and there are no longer any matched socks left in the Master’s top drawer, it is to the bottom drawer one hastens. Surely there must be a pair there?

Depending on who is conducting the search, singles may find their appropriate partners, or be approximately paired with something similar. That is, if I am looking, the married pairs will match exactly. If Barry is searching, ‘They’ll do,’ he’ll say as two mismatched socks are thrust together. That drives me mad. I know it doesn’t matter, ‘Who cares? Who’s looking?’ but it matters to me and that is why my bottom drawer is full of odd socks. They’re not mine – I don’t wear socks.

The funny thing is that people can now buy deliberately mismatched socks, if they feel so inclined. They do look as though they belong together, strangely, unlike the pairs concocted from my bottom drawer.

Mismatched socks are a symbol for World Down Syndrome Day, on 21^st March. They represent the third copy of chromosome 21 which those with Down’s Syndrome possess.

Trousseau has two other meanings, one medical (Trousseau’s sign)  and one connected with wine, where it refers to a red wine grape, also known as Bastardo or Merenzao.

Peacekeeper

 

Peacekeeper

The brothers were having a spat. Jellicoe started it, as he often does. When he lost interest, Herschel began a new offensive and fur started to fly. Normally, they stop when I tell them, ‘No squabbling!’ but today they ignored me.

 Then Roxy stepped between them with a sharp ’grump’ and they nonchalantly turned away, their body language clearly indicating that they weren’t doing anything of great import and why was she making a fuss, anyway?

All the quadrupeds then had treats, dried chicken for the felines and carrots for the canines.

Roxy could teach the powers that be a thing or two about exercising law and order, with no damage to body or mind. She is gentle and kindly but will not stand any nonsense. She is the matriarch.

Nuuk

 

Nuuk

                Nuuk, largest city and capital of Greenland.

This image appeared on my screen on Tuesday morning, and I thought it was so pretty and quite apposite.

Nuuk is the capital and largest city in Greenland, which is an autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark. It is one of the smallest capital cities in the world.

One third of the country’s people, numbering 20,113 in January 2025, lives in Nuuk. About 90% of the population is Inuit, and the culture and history are celebrated perhaps more than in any other indigenous city world-wide.

Greenland is the world’s largest island and is a land of mountains and fjords. It experiences long, snowy winters and short, cool summers. The landscape reflects this, in that there are few trees.

It has been associated with Norway and Denmark for a thousand years, both politically and culturally. Although it recognises both Danish and English, among other northern European languages, its official language is Greenlandic.

Education and healthcare are free, and it is a socially progressive country, affording widespread rights to LGBTQ citizens. There is more information here.

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Humdinger

 

Humdinger

Sometimes my fingers take on an independent life and type something quite other than I intended. For example, while looking up ‘humdinger’ I inadvertently typed, humdinbgerf. It was quite a pleasing word, I felt, and Bing agreed, saying, That’s quite a word you’ve invented there — humdinbgerf has a fun, bouncy rhythm to it. It feels like it could mean anything from a mythical creature to the sound your brain makes when it’s overloaded.

I typed again and this time created hjumdinger, to which Bing responded with, hjumdinger has a totally different vibe from your earlier invention — it feels sharper, almost like a word that announces itself.

It could easily be:

·         a quirky gadget (“Pass me the hjumdinger, the screws are tiny”)

·         a celebratory exclamation (“Well that’s a real hjumdinger of a win”)

·         or even a creature that lives in the corner of a fantasy tavern, judging everyone silently

In addition to mistyping, there’s the accidental striking of the CAPS KEY AND THE CHAOS THAT CREATES.

Occasionally, one of the cats, usually Jellicoe, walks across the keyboard, exercising his inner creativity. This becomes more pronounced the closer it gets to one of his mealtimes.

 

 

 

A ‘Wake Up!’ call

2026

Neil,from ‘Yorkshire Pudding,’ left a comment on a blog post of mine from seventeen years ago, 24^th February, 2009, to be precise. I struggled out of my semi-comatose state to visit his blog, where I enjoyed reading about the licentious goings-on at the Laughing Horse Awards and was astonished to discover that I had been unexpectedly honoured. Neil took the words right out of my keyboard when he quoted me saying, “never in my wildest dreams did I expect to receive such a prestigious accolade.”

So, thank you, Neil. I am indeed flattered. What you may not have realised is that I have been struggling to break free of an encroaching lassitude and wondering if I should continue to blog.

The last few years have been difficult, for several reasons, though now there is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I am only too aware that many others have far worse matters to contend with. My life, in general, has been blessed, and I remain thankful for good health and a loving and supportive husband and family.

A few hours days of introspection made me realise that I still want the outlet blogging gives me and so I shall continue. Bad luck, all!

Well, it has been a humdinger of a start to a new year. Do people still say ‘humdinger?’  Apparently, it’s a late 19^th century American colloquialism. Bing (not Crosby) informs me that “Humdinger” is an Americanism from the late 1800s, most likely formed by blending two earlier slang words — hummer (something energetic or excellent) and dinger (something outstanding). The earliest known printed use is from 1883 in a Montana newspaper.”  So now I know, and will probably forget.

Anyway, 2026 promises to be interesting. The President of the United States continues to disengage from reality and wreck his country’s international relationships. There are many amusing memes and cartoons, but there is an underlying fear of what the future holds. Those who know are busy analysing and forecasting.

                                     This, from Debby at ‘Life’s Funny Like That,’ made me laugh so much, and gave me hope that common sense will prevail and prevent the world hurling itself into a maelstrom of disaster.

Belatedly, Happy New Year, everyone. May all your troubles be little ones and all your pleasures be prodigious.