Messages

 

Messages

I watched ‘Adolescence’ recently. It addresses the effects of the toxic masculinity, misogyny, and opposition to feminism promoted by Andrew Tate which are reflected on websites, blogs, and other online forums, and which is affecting the way young people conduct relationships. The effects are further enhanced by messages sent to and about people, becoming another way to bully someone. It was superbly acted and was deeply distressing to watch. I did not enjoy watching it, and the questions and problems the drama raised remained with me and disturbed my sleep for a few nights.

Nonetheless, I think that anyone who has any contact with adolescent and pre-adolescent children should make the effort to watch it.

I understand, from my twelve-year-old grandson, that it is being widely discussed among children in school. He is currently watching it with my daughter and separately with his elder stepsister. My instinct is that it should be screened in schools, in carefully controlled episodes, followed by group discussion.

An interesting facet of the production focused on the use of emojis and made me question my own use of them. I blithely scatter emojis hither and yon without any thought to the deeper meaning they may carry. Of course, I am not texting impressionable adolescents, but I have often wondered about some of the more obscure emojis I see in their text messages.

There is a ‘red pill’ that references the film ‘The Matrix.’ It indicates an awakening to the ‘truth’ and a call for action by the ‘manosphere.’  The red pill receiver/sender sees the world ‘as it truly is’ and understands the malign influence of women.

The dynamite emoji refers to an exploding red pill to indicate that someone is an incel. An incel is an involuntary celibate, made that way because women are to blame for a male’s lack of success in engaging with females.

This supposed failure is explained by the 100 emoji, which claims that eighty per cent of women are attracted to only twenty per cent of men. Therefore, the 100 emoji is another way of telling a boy/man that he’s an incel, and that most women are off limits to him, so he will always be an incel.

Heart emojis are innocuous, one would think. (This one did, anyway!) They come in different pretty colours, like flowers, but in the manosphere each one carries a message. Red, of course, means love, but purple indicates lust. Yellow reveals that the sender is interested and asks if the recipient is likewise engaged, and pink says, ‘interested, but not in sex.’ An orange heart tells the recipient he is going to be fine, whatever that means.

There are other emojis with different meanings and some relate to the procurement of illegal drugs, although these are not addressed in ‘Adolescence.’

We cannot protect our children from all harm, but it is important to try and understand what pressures they are under and how and by whom they may be being influenced. Above all, we should be listening. Sometimes, children only express a worry or a concern in passing, as though it’s not really of any great import. Sometimes, it’s a shouted insult that indicates that not all is well.

I shall watch ‘Adolescence’ again. I have youngsters in my family who will be engaged (already are, in the case of my twelve-year-old grandson and great-granddaughter) in the world of texting and Snapchat and TikTok and various other modes of communication. Cutting them off from their phones and iPads will only isolate them and make them resentful. It could even turn them into targets for the crueller or weaker of their peers.

We welcome our babies with such joy. What a shame they have to learn to navigate our often wicked world. Doesn’t every generation have fears for its young?