Wednesday, 14 May 2025

Manners maketh man . . . and woman

 

Manners maketh man . . . and woman

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Our local community Facebook group published two pleas recently.

The first was from the driver of a funeral hearse. Making its stately way to the crematorium, it was overtaken by a driver so impatient that he or she felt the need to sound the car’s horn. It’s possible that the car driver had an emergency and needed to reach his/her. destination post haste, but although hearses proceed at a slower speed than most other road users, they are not moving so slowly that they hold up following traffic to any great degree.

If there is to be a large procession of mourners’ cars, which can cause delays, the police issue warning notices so that people can find alternative routes. That doesn’t happen very often, and in this case, there were only two cars. The funeral director was upset, and asked for respect to be shown, but I imagine the mourners were even more distressed.

The second plea came from a cyclist who was nearly mown down by a huge SUV heading straight for her as it closely overtook three cyclists on the opposite side of the road. The shaken cyclist asked for awareness of other road users. Again, taking a charitable view, possibly the driver had an emergency. Perhaps drivers of super-sized vehicles on our narrow, twisting roads forget what they are driving, or maybe they think everyone else should just get out of the way, or preferably, not use the roads at all.

What is happening to commonsense, responsibility, and respect?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

 

59 comments:

  1. Sometimes nice people aren’t nice behind the wheel.

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  2. The world has become "me first" in recent years and many people think only of themselves and their needs before anyone else.
    It truly is a lack of manners.

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    1. Exactly so. We live in a 'me, me, me' world.

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  3. Thoughtless people. Well, not really "thoughtless" but thinking only of themselves, as Bob said.

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  4. In 1950 Disney made a movie called Motor Mania. It showed what happened to the famous cartoon character Goofy when he got behind the wheel. He turned into a split personality, Jekyll versus Hyde. It shows that road rage isn’t a new phenomena. Sad state of affairs in these two incidents you mentioned and with all the more traffic on the road now and continually growing, deeply concerning.

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    1. I fear some people will only learn if they injure another road user and that's a truly terrible way to learn.

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  5. Commonsense, responsibility and respect have mostly "left the building" in far too may places. We are firmly entrenched in the "me me me, now now now" times and it's a sad era to be in for those of us who remember and for those much younger who are learning.

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    1. I agree. People used to hold doors open for others. I don't know if that happens now.

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    2. Funnily enough (or not really funny), I often hold doors open for people. As a short, silver haired, 75 year old woman, you would (or would not) be amazed how many people of all ages simply walk past me without acknowledging my assistance or even looking at me. That usually provokes me to call after them as they swan by me and say (a tad loudly), "You're welcome!" Some look sheepish, but others don't. Oblivious.

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  6. Somewhat related, we were just discussing today how it once seemed commonplace to give a friendly wave or toot on the horn when a slower vehicle pulled to the side of the road to in order not to hold up faster traffic. It was a way of acknowledging the courtesy of the "slow" driver. Now it seems that the faster vehicle just roars on past without a wave or brief tap on the horn. Not terribly important but I miss the moment of camaraderie it afforded.

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    1. It is an indication that we recognise others, and an indication of our humanity.

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  7. Manners and courteous driving seem to be absent in drivers of large SUVs. If they do offer courtesy, they want to make a show of it and are more likely to wind down their window and with their arm out, wave somebody on.

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    1. Being surrounded by apparently impenetrable armour removes one's sense of being human, perhaps.

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  8. Some vehicles attract a certain type of driver. Such as the unnecessary, large, aggressive SUV.

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    1. Such vehicles are useful for rough terrain, but totally impractical in suburbia.

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  9. It’s disheartening how easily urgency seems to eclipse empathy on the roads

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    1. Everyone's time is precious and patience is a virtue we should all hope to encourage.

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  10. In both cases even in an emergency you don't put other people's lives in danger or become a rude ignoramus. Here other cars will pull over and wait for a funeral procession to pass. I know you can't do that in most places but you surely can show respect.
    I hope the SUV was found and charged.

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    1. Time was when people would stop and bow their heads when a hearse passed, or slow their cars. I doubt the SUV driver was cautioned.

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  11. We often comment to ourselves 'there is no respect' and so many are just there to get in front, driving has changed so much, it's not a pleasure anymore.

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    1. Driving is not a pleasure and it used to be. Now, we have to watch out for the other idiots all the time.

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  12. There seems to be a growing amount of people who lack common courtesy and consideration for other drivers.

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  13. I agree with all the comments above. Respect is no longer in fashion.

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  14. I was once cut up by a hearse. It came out of a cemetary and drove away like it was being chased by it's previous passenger.

    There seems to be no patience on the road these days. That can't be good for road safety for anyone.

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  15. Here, e-scooters (and their drivers!) is one of the things we're probably grumbling about the most these days. They drive everywhere and get left (parked or just thrown) everywhere, whether allowed to or not...

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  16. Everyone seems to be in a hurry to get nowhere fast except the occupant of the hearse.

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    1. We often comment on speedy drivers who race past us when we catch up with them a few miles later. What good does it do?

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  17. Roads have just become such a hazard. I don't know if it's a bigger population or more careless people or less caring people. It's why I ride on the bicycle path only. But my husband insists on riding the highway. I can only keep my fingers crossed so long.

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  18. Cyclists and motorcyclists are so vulnerable. I wouldn't ride on a main road.

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  19. Sorry to say, motorists in many parts of India are extremely inconsiderate to other people on the streets.

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  20. How sad the community had the need to post. People have become very rude IMHO. We see it daily on the road, at the grocery store. No one waits for anyone, no one offers to let someone go ahead of them. To honk at a funeral procession is truly horrible. I hope the person who did that experiences some karma. So disrespectful of him or her. Hubby and I bought bikes for our wedding present to each other back in the day and experienced several bad situations where people tried to run us off the road. I think you're being too kind when you say maybe they had an emergency. We no longer ride because it got too dangerous, but often see the same thing happening to bikers that we experienced. Whenever possible I'll ride behind them to block other cars from trying to squeeze them out.

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    1. I'm sorry you've had to give up something you enjoyed. Horse riders also have problems with inconsiderate drivers.

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  21. this saddens me for the family of the loved one. You would think that if the driver had an emergency, they would have had their flashing lights on. I think we have become such a human society that respect has been lost and selfishness has taken over. Plus...around here, there are too many people on their phones when driving, which makes it way too dangerous for others on the road whether they are on a bike, walking or in another car. Sure hope you experience a great day today..

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    1. In UK it is illegal to use a mobile 'phone while driving, but people still do it, thinking themselves above the law. So foolish!

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  22. It beggars belief how rude and inconsiderate people can be, particularly when they're behind the wheel. That said, fast e-bikes and e-scooters have become a particular menace here as well. The former seem to think that speed limits are only for cars and the latter are usually oblivious to traffic lights! xxx

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    1. e-scooters arrive behind one so swiftly and almost silently - a real menace on pavements.

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  23. Common sense isn't all that common anymore.

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  24. The fact that this post is even necessary is so sad. I remember the expression "were you raised by wolves"? when someone didn't have proper manners and respect. What an insult to wolves. I think the true nature of a person is revealed when they get behind the wheel, and what we are seeing now is frightening.

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    1. It is frightening and we do animals, especially social animals, a disservice when we use them to insult others.

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  25. I agree with all the comments about the lack of respect, but there was something puzzling about the second story.

    In the States bicyclists are subject to the same rules as motorized vehicles, and have to ride the same way as the traffic. In the post you cited it seems like there were people riding on both sides of the road. Unless I'm missing something one or the other groups was partially at fault.

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    1. It was a two-way, two-lane road, with vehicles on each side of the road going in opposite directions.

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  26. Unfortunately there does seem to be a growing number of people who lack courtesy and consideration for other drivers.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Drivers are insulated by their vehicles and caught up in their own small worlds.

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  27. Hi Janice - I so completely agree with you and with your commenters ... thankfully some (many) people are still thoughtful and generous ... the few:once again are just selfish: me, me, me ... so so sad and unnecessary - take care - Hilary

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    1. We have to keep reminding ourselves that the uncaring really are in the minority. Perhaps that's why their behaviour causes so much comment.

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  28. I find the same to be true here. So many impatient people. I hate it when someone tailgates SO close and then when given the option will just ROAR by you as if they are in a great hurry. But I love it when they are stopped by a red light ahead and I just happen to be right next to them. All of their ROARiNG in haste was for naught.

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    1. We see them on the motorways, going hell for leather, zipping in and out of the lanes, and then see them a few miles on, stuck in a tailback!

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  29. What a horrible experience for those who were already grieving the loss of loved one. I hope the cyclist will be ok too after their nasty experiece with a selfish and inconsiderate driver. Words just fail me and I can't even begin to choose a suitable and printable word to describe these drivers.

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