Would you rather . . . ?
Reading Denise’s post, I was reminded of a small incident a few years ago in a supermarket. It was quiet, the spacious aisles allowing easy access to shelves and their contents. Do shelves have ‘contents’, or do they simply ‘display items’? ‘Whatever’, as the young used to say.
Anyway, I noticed another shopper, well dressed, neatly turned out, quite unlike me in my sloppy attire. Even if I attempt to present a decorous, though never decorative, image, I fail miserably and this I know when I catch sight of a scarecrow creature in a pane of glass and realise, with horror, that it’s me.
As I gazed surreptitiously at my beautifully styled fellow shopper, I suddenly noticed a hair clip in her hair. It wasn’t a decorative thing, an intentional addition, a pretty ornament, but a hair grip, intended to flatten wayward locks or entice hair to remain where required and then removed. It was not meant to be there.
I was in a quandary. Should I quietly alert my peer to the unintended accessory? Would she prefer not to know? How would she react? Tentatively, I said, ‘Excuse me,’ and she turned to look at me. ‘Did you realise you have a hair clip in your hair?’
Startled, her hand flew to her hair to remove it and she thanked me most profusely. I was relieved that she wasn’t embarrassed and glad I had told her. Certainly, I would prefer to have such an anomaly pointed out to me, though, to be honest, it would be quite difficult to settle on just one – there are so many inconsistencies.
I remember seeing one of my daughter’s teachers out shopping one day. She was wearing casual, comfortable clothes, which, if not actually shabby, had definitely seen better days. Round her neck hung the most beautiful jewelled pendant. It was clearly valuable and completely out of keeping with the rest of her outfit but I imagine it had sentimental value and gave her great pleasure to wear.
When it comes down to it, at the end of the day, when all’s said and done, in the long run, and other inconsequential platitudes, so long as you’re comfortable in your own skin and choice of clothes, no-one else’s opinion matters.
I'm not sure I would. I honestly don't think I'd even notice it. Most times when I'm out shopping I don't take a lot of notice of other people. It's only when I'm sitting people watching that I notice them, even think of stories about them lol.
ReplyDeleteAs for choice of outfit, I've always worn what I fancy. I rarely dress up. I won't go to the shops in pajamas or anything like that but other than that as long as I'm warm/cool and comfortable I don't care.
Some people are always dressed to the nines - my mother-in-law was. She loved clothes.
DeleteI would not tell a stranger either.. you were fortunate that your fellow shopper was grateful and not peeved. The only thing I would risk is telling a smoker that smoking is not allowed within 50 ms of a coffee shop's front door.
ReplyDeleteNow, I would probably not tell a smoker not to smoke - you're braver than me!
DeleteI would like to know if my skirt is all stuck in my underwear! Otherwise no. I did once take a liberty when another woman and I were about to to speakers at an event, I noticed she had a giant curler in the back of her curly hair. She was grateful I didn't let her get on the platform with it waving about.
ReplyDeleteLaughing at the image of clothes caught up in underwear - it's always amusing when it happens to someone else.
Deletedo you mean hair grips are not meant to be worn in public? I wear four or six everyday to keep hair out of my face. I am allergic to most hairsprays and don't like them anyway, and some of my hair is too short to fit into the ponytail. So I clip it back. Decorative clips are too expensive and don't hold as well, having to be constantly readjusted.
ReplyDeleteThis wasn't a normal hair grip, but more like the ones hairdressers use, large and clearly not intended for use outside the house. I couldn't find a photograph of those.
DeleteI think it was kind of you to tell her. I would like to know. And, by the way, I always think of you as looking quite lovely. Please don't feel too critical of yourself. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is such a kind remark, Stephanie. I feel lovely inside, now. Thank you:-)
DeleteMy hair is too short for a hair clip, so not a problem. I am not sure about telling someone about a hairclip in public, but certainly if they had to present themselves well, I would.
ReplyDeleteI've developed the ability to look at myself in the mirror for grooming purposes but not actually see myself, if you can understand that.
I understand that only too well, Andrew. That's one reason I hate going to the hairdresser.
DeleteOnce when driving to work, I went to smooth down my hair at the back and found I'd left a roller in it! I put it in after I'd combed my hair because it was stacking up! Glad I found it before I got to work!
ReplyDeleteLucky chance:-)
DeleteI turned up at school wearing odd shoes. Fortunately, I was able to whizz home and get that one sorted but oh, dear! xx
ReplyDeletePotentially embarrassing.
DeleteMy husband has worn odd shoes on occasion, but it didn't bother him when he realised. Confidence is everything;-) x x x
Coming from a large family, my mum would never allow us to go out untidy or in ripped clothes, and as most of us will agree, our mothers created the people we are today. I can't pop out in scruffy or dirty clothes, but neither do I dress up.
ReplyDeleteShoes are important. If they're clean/polished, the rest of the outfit will be fine - at least, that's how I was brought up, so I used to clean my children's shoes every night before school when they were little.
DeleteI definitely dress for comfort and practicality these days but get a bit fed up about it sometimes as I do think that it tends to make me dowdy and invisible.......... it shouldn't matter..........but it does........to me anyway........
ReplyDeleteThe hairgrip, hmmm, I may well have stayed quiet putting it down to some small eccentricity on the lady's part, but she appreciated you pointing it out so all good 😊
Alison in Wales x
I'm quite sure you're not dowdy or invisible. Comfortable, practical clothes can still look smart. x x x
DeleteHaHa! I remember as a boy, all dressed up and ready
ReplyDeletefor school...my hair back then was partly curly, eventually
growing into a Afro, and partly straight, mia Mama used
use a very long comb, run it under the cold tap, and comb
my hair, by the time she finished, it was soaking wet, the
next thing was a hair~grip, on the side of my head, off
to school l went to school, about a mile, by the time l reached
school my hair had dried out, straight bits were straight, curly
bits were curly...what a mess...Hair grip...? God knows where
that was..?
Karen came up yesterday afternoon, she's been cutting my hair
every 6~8weeks, for some 46yrs...I sit on the puff...No! No! I
mean the pouffe..HeHe! When l think she's cut enough off...I stop
talking..Job done..! :O).
Then l decided to dye it..pink...left it over night, washed this
morning...off out to town for a pose...! :O).
✨🍑✨ ✨✨🍑✨ ✨✨🍑✨ ✨✨🍑✨ ✨✨🍑
My daughter and son-in-law, Doddy, will probably see you:-)
DeleteWhen l spoke to Doddy a while back, he knew me,
Deleteor knew of me, and had seen me about town, and
knows where l live...(He has an open invite for coffee,
when passing)...HeHe! It has to be said l'm 'quite'
well known...! :O).
He's a very affable chap, Paul (Doddy) I'm very fond of him.
DeleteI'm sure I wouldn't have noticed, usually in a rush to get in and out of shops! Some people I knew used to tell me about all the riff-raff in their local supermarket - long stories about looks and behaviour which I wouldn't have taken note of at all!
ReplyDeleteI'm an incurable people-watcher. Too nosey by half!
DeleteI had a friend who noticed she was attracting quite a number of jinks from passing drivers as she walked along a road. She assumed she was looking especially well put together. Unfortunately, she later discovered she had been walking along with her skirt tucked inside her panty hose.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Poor soul!
Delete*honks
ReplyDeleteWhat a charming anecdote about the subtle nuances of fashion and personal appearance! It's always interesting to observe how we present ourselves to the world and how those little unexpected details can catch our attention. Your willingness to gently inform the other shopper about the hair clip in her hair speaks volumes about your kindness and consideration. And you're absolutely right - ultimately, it's all about feeling comfortable in our own skin and attire, regardless of others' opinions. Thanks for sharing this delightful story! 🛍️👗
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that the older I get I go for clean, comfortable clothing and flat shoes!
All the best Jan
Likewise. I can't remember the last time I wore heels.
DeleteIt's true: some women always look as if they're off to a cocktail party. Not me. I have commented on someone's perfume in the past. Sometimes it goes down well; sometimes I get weird looks.
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't know how to take a compliment!
DeleteI definitely would have told her and would be thankful if someone told me in a similar situation. I'm also in the habit of complimenting someone if I love what they're wearing, but I guess that's just me. In my case, things like that can really make my day, and so do the smiles I get in return. xxx
ReplyDeleteLittle pleasantries cost nothing and can make a difference to a person's day. x x x
Delete