Letters

 

 

Letters

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

This is an old post, rehashed.

When Mary heard the clatter of the letterbox flap, old memories were reawakened. She recalled how her heart would leap in anticipation and then be overwhelmed with disappointment. Many days, the mail brought only bills and she would sigh and shake her head over the buff envelopes, and hope that the next day would deliver a letter from David. Some days a bundle of letters dropped onto the mat and she would smile as she put them in date order, deferring the pleasure of reading them until she could sit in her favourite chair and carefully open them.

Every time she slit the envelope, she imagined she could catch David’s scent. She read the letters quickly, passing her fingers lightly across the words. Then she would read them again, more slowly, savouring the dearly-loved handwriting. Every pen stroke was precious and proof of David’s love for her.

My Darling,

                It has been so long since I held you in my arms and kissed your lovely face. I miss you more and more with each passing day and cannot wait to be with you once again.

              A few of us had shore leave last night and went out on the town. It’s not much of a town and there wasn’t much to see, but it was good to be on terra firma again. Getting’s one’s sea legs is one thing, bur regaining one’s land legs is quite another. I smile when I remember how you laughed at my rolling gait the last time I was home on leave.

           I wish I could tell you more of my daily life, but you know that’s not possible. One day . . .! Maybe that day will come soon – I’m sure we all hope so. Until then, be patient my darling, and know that I love you with all my heart. I long for the day when we can be together again forever, you, me and our children. Am I presuming too much? You do want children, don’t you? I know you do – didn’t we decide on five? They will be the most beautiful ever seen, I know. I will never do anything to hurt you, my dearest one, my angle. Keep safe, sweet one.  

                                        Yours always and forever,

David x

Mary giggled a little at David’s spelling of ‘angel’ but loved him all the more for not being absolutely perfect. She brought the letter to her face and sniffed it. David’s hands had been the last to touch it – well, she knew that wasn’t strictly true; all mail had to be censored, but she thought the people who did that must recognise love letters and skim them quickly, almost without touching them.

She must write back immediately. During his last leave, David had told her how important letters were to all the men and how they brought some normality and a sense of home with them.  She had promised then that she would write every single day. Sometimes it was hard to think what to write. Her life was very ordinary, her days spent reading or sewing, sometimes gardening or learning a new piece of piano music. On the most trying days, she enclosed a pressed flower and told David something about it – where she’d picked it and what the weather had been like on that day.

She sat at her writing desk, looking out over the garden, one finger gently touching her lips, remembering David’s ardent kisses. She picked up her pen and unscrewed the cap.

My dearest David,

                             It gave me such joy to receive your letter this morning. It makes the sun shine brighter, the birds sing more sweetly, the sky bluer. Such nonsense, I know, my darling, but truly your letters lift my spirit in a way nothing else can, apart from your presence, of course.

                       Naturally I understand the secrecy that must necessarily surround all of you. I would not have it otherwise and no-one I know thinks any differently.

                      I’m sorry the town wasn’t up to much, though part of me feels quite glad. I should not like to think of you being tempted by glamorous ladies in smart clubs. No, don’t worry, my love – I know your heart belongs to me. Have you not told me so often enough? And are you not a respectable married man? Yes, I do want children – the more the merrier, I think, but five will do to start with.

                Keep safe, my darling. I love you and I always will.

                                   Your Mary xxx

Mary bent to pick up the mail, groaning a little. Her back felt worse this morning, after a restless night. She sifted through the pile, muttering at the proliferation of unwanted flyers and impersonal business letters. She tossed them onto the hall table – they would keep until later. For now she would take her tea onto the patio and sit in the morning sunshine and listen to the birds.

It had been just such a morning when David’s last letters were delivered, but she had delayed opening them immediately. It had been a shock, receiving them from beyond the grave, as it were, for the telegram informing her of David’s death had arrived only the day before.

Mary gazed at her wrinkled hands and felt afresh the emptiness in her heart, less agonising now, more of a dull ache. There had been no children, no little part of her beloved husband to cherish. At least she still had his letters and that was as much as she had known of him during those long months he had spent at sea. She also had the letters she had written to him. They had been returned unopened and that was how they had remained. She needed no reminders of the optimism and love she had felt.

She sighed and stood up. ’Life must go on,’ she chided herself, but some days she wondered why.