Thursday, 2 June 2011

Poetry Jam Swim, swam, swum

 Swim, swam, swum

A child’s verse might read like this;
‘We swim and then we swam,
And we all swam in jam,
And I have swum with mum,
And I cannot do my sum,
And I wish playtime would come
And then I can finish this.’

While children may stumble
With language and number,
It’s easy to fix
When they’re only six,
But adults just flounder,
Seeking much sounder
Constructions and quick
Resolutions to counter
Solutions of problems they
Never intended.

More loans to atone
For the money they’ve borrowed
Lead only to furrowed
Foreheads and low moans
Till matters are mended.

Micawber’s advice
Is nice and precise;
Spend less than you make
And then you won’t quake
When charges are due.
Spend more than you take?
Your dreams will be raked
With worry and sorrow and rue.


'The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today' - except here!

20 comments:

  1. ha. very fun...love the quick rhymes and alliteration...and the play on the childrens verse/song...but bringing it relavant as well with the debt...far too many have yet to learn to swim there...

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  2. I was just thinking of what Dickens wrote about debt yesterday. Some members of my family are in terrible debt and that is all they can think about. It is so good to live within your means.

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  3. An enjoyable read with very wise advice!

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  4. Excellent, Janice! I've always loved to say "swim, swam, swum" just because the sounds are fun.
    — K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  5. I like the flow of this poem. Starts out as a childlike verse, ends with wise advice!

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  6. My first time here, and I'm glad to have come! I love rhyme and clever use of language - both done well here!

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  7. Funny! This reminds me of Dr. Seuss books, which I always loved to read aloud to my kids.

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  8. Brilliant! I always thought you had a wonderful way with words, and now I know you have a wonderful way with rhyme.

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  9. Fun, fun and more fun coupled with some really sage advice.

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  10. This was a fun post, and the advice is spot on!

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  11. Love the rhyme ... very clever!!

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  12. Love it! Excellent lesson too - I wish I had paid attention, oh, about 15 years ago :)

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  13. Great comic relief, and great advice as well...

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  14. What fun! I loved the left turn you took on the swimming prompt. Nicely constructed, too. Cheers!

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  15. Lovely rhythm and tight rhymes. Great fun!

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  16. Love the move from tense to tense debt, and this part I found spectacular:

    But adults just flounder,
    Seeking much sounder
    Constructions and quick
    Resolutions to counter
    Solutions of problems they
    Never intended.

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  17. I may be one of the last to post but I'm glad to be reading some very humorous stuff. This one has me laughing...needs to read out loud, preferably while hoppingon one foot.

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  18. Fun and flowing and yet a message that is timely as well. Loved the mix of children's verse and adult theme at the end.

    I played this week for the first time. Hope you'll stop by: Free Fall.

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