Wednesday 14 February 2024

Fed up

 

Fed up



It’s a funny expression, fed up. At first sight or sound it seems to imply ‘an ample sufficiency’ as my father used to say – replete, satisfied, sated, satiated, or, more prosaically, stuffed, full to bursting, glutted.

My application of ‘fed up’ has no relation to appetite or food – it describes my state of mind. I am fed up, distressed, depressed, pessimistic, unable to see the silver lining in the black cloud. It will pass, I know that, but I’m no company for anyone. Well, that’s just as well, since the only person who has to put up with me is my long-suffering husband, the source to whom I inevitably turn for understanding and support.

Unlike so many, as I understand it, I have no ‘supportive network of friends’ with whom to share my woes. No hope for me, then, since all ‘advice’ insists that everyone needs ‘a social network.’ Not me. Like my mother, I do not relish constant company. I used to worry, particularly after my father died, that she had ‘no friends’. She didn’t need them – she was self-sufficient, with many interests. Her friends were from her youth and life as a wife and mother, and those years passed as readily as children grow and move on. She had, I believe, a rich, interior life that sustained her.

My father used to say that he had few enemies and fewer friends and he was quite a sociable chap! He and my mother were a tight unit – he would have climbed up to get the top brick of the chimney, had she wanted it.

Whatever has brought on this current state of ‘Woe is me’ is of no interest to anyone who has survived this monologue thus far. It will be resolved, or not, and life will continue, perhaps in slightly altered form – well, definitely in another form – until something more gripping happens.

Thank goodness for a loving husband and a bevy of uncomplicated cats and dogs. They don’t ask questions or demand answers – and I include Barry in that. Why can’t people be more like dogs (and cats)?

54 comments:

  1. I don't have a network of friends either and don't need them. I have "blah" days too when I am fed up with everything going on in the world and sometimes with things going on around where I live, but it does pass and reading helps, I can get lost in someone else's story.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, looking outside oneself certainly helps, though it's difficult to do it in the midst of the blues, sometimes.

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  2. "Fed up" reminds me of another expression. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH" yelled loudly also sounds like stuffed with too-much food, but it usually means something ruder.

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  3. This is precisely how my husband and I were, and why I miss him so much. I hope you feel better soon!

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    1. Thank you, Jenny. I do feel selfish when I think of other people's situations.

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    2. No - you musn't feel that way. Enjoy every minute that you can, while you can :)

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  4. Not having a husband, children or much in the way of close famly, I consider myself to be fairly 'self contained' person but I do feel very grateful for my network of good friends. Nobby helps too of course! My local cycling group, all ladies in our sixties and early seventies, are notably supportive and for that I am grateful.
    'Fed up' is an odd expression isn't it? I hope your current episode of 'fed-upness' passes soon.
    Cheers, Gail.

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  5. Another person here without a lifelong partner, I hope you are never widowed and left alone, I need a network of friends otherwise life would not be worth living. No conversations, no laughter, just inside a house all day long in silence, so make the most of your partner whilst you have each other. Sarah Browne.

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    1. I do appreciate my good fortune. I think often of my mother-in-law, married and widowed twice. She spent most of her adult life alone.

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  6. Wow, I connect with all this, except your current feeling of woe. We have a few (few meaning exactly that, 3 or 4) friends who we see time to time. I feel that we should have more friends but I don't want more friends. They would take time out of my selfish but satisfying life.
    After forty plus years, I and my partner are very dependant on each other and one of us is going to be very unhappy one day in the future.
    I have my internet friends, which I possibly take too seriously and hate it if any disappear. My outside interests are all things I can do on my own. I have a large family if I feel the need for company and I love watching the greats grow.
    You hit a raw nerve here.

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    1. Further, network of friends? I've never has anyone who I could confide in and tell them my troubles, let alone a network.

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    2. The last time I had a couple of friends I could confide in was when I was a teenager and everything was a drama. The only one who knows me inside out and to whom I can tell anything is my husband. Like you, one day in the future, one of us is going to be very unhappy and lost. Meanwhile, laugh and the world laughs with you . . . :-)

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  7. I am similar in that, although I have a small group of female friends in the walking group who I see occasionally,, I don't really have anything resembling a support network. I only have P. My cousin has described me as self contained and I suppose it is true that I enjoy my own company.

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    1. PS meant to say that I hope your fedupness ends soon.

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    2. Thank you, JayCee. We are all individuals.

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  8. And there's me, feeling on top of the world, just
    sent a Valentines e~mail out to my friends, and
    enemies...? HeHe! :). Bless!

    It's been said hundred's of times, "no two people are
    the same" maybe similar..? But..not the same...
    Goodness...! If there was another like me...But then..
    One thing l've 'always' said about myself.."I'm the
    best there is, the best there was, and the best there
    ever will be" "Nuff Said"...

    One good thing about this post, your personal post,
    is that you are able to recognize your feelings, be
    truthful with yourself and get on with your life...After
    only following your Blog for a short while, it appears
    you have a great deal going on, and lots of things to
    be very proud of...HeHe! After all..Gilbert does help
    you out with your post from time to time..Bless him..!x

    I can't really mention 'fed up' because l never experienced
    it...and mentally l'm on the go all the time, l suffer from
    stress and anxiety...not life threatening...it's just something
    l have to cope with...and l do...!
    So anyway Happy St Valentines Day to one and all...! :O).
    💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟 💟

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    1. Stress and anxiety are hard taskmasters and I get the impression you have the right answer to them - I don't know you but you appear to be a very positive person. Take care!

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    2. Thankyou..Your spot about the positive bit...
      I am a very emotional person to..it's the Sicilian
      thing l suppose..l show my emotions for not
      only the sad things, but happy ones to...!
      But! Hey! I put up with it...! C'est La Vie...!
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      "Some days are dry, some days are leaky..
      Some days come clean, other days are sneaky..
      Some days take less, but most days take more..
      Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor".

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    3. That's a very telling verse.

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  9. We used to say 'cheesed off' - I have no idea where that comes from, must look it up. I tend to keep my woes to myself, it just works better for me.
    Hoping things pick up for you soon. xx

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    1. Thank you, Joy. I don't usually advertise my (very small) woes and feel rather silly for having indulged myself. x x x

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    2. No, not silly at all. It's your blog and you can say what you want. You weren't advertising them at all and I'm really sorry if my comment indicated I thought you were. ((( hugs ))) xx

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  10. We are a self contained unit as well, our siblings all live hours driving away, most of our children are grown and rightly so fill their time with their families, as they too live miles away. We do have my youngest daughter very close, but we do both rely on each other. Hope the gloom rises quickly.

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  11. I think creative people tend to be self-sufficient with a rich interior life. I'm like that, so was my dad. When my dad had been ill, the social workers made him agree to attend a group for old people because they said he was lonely and did not have enough social contact. He hated it.

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    1. My mother bridled at the suggestion from a health visitor, or whatever she was, that she go to the local old people's group. She would have hated it, like your father.

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  12. Thinking of you this morning, Janice and wishing for your current fed upness to disappear quickly.

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  13. Sick and tired of being sick and tired - maybe it is the season, maybe not. The world news is not a cause for joy or celebration, and rubbish we should all have learned from just keeps getting repeated... Tasker has an interesting point about creativity and don't you find that is sometimes grows out of these times, these moods, that 'fed up' feeling?

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  14. It's often a case of 'sink or swim' when these moods strike.
    The world is in a deplorable state, for all sorts of reasons, but people like you and 'the grand-lad' do make a difference and set an example. So, by degrees, others appreciate that unselfish acts make the world a better place.

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  15. Oh my, "fed up", I can relate to the feeling of that. I have said this often, but usually just silently in my head. My husband is a neutral person, neither high or low and after umpteen years of marriage he neither understands or appreciates my bad days. My only girl friend is 300 miles away and we do daily emails on maybe 3 sentences. As a happy widow, she does not get me either after 60 years, lol. It is wonderful to have pets who definitely have been my saving grace. Happy Valentines and many more for you and your husband. Lynn

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    1. I am sorry that on the days you are cast down you have no-one to share with. Thank goodness for your good friend - what a shame she is so far away but it's tremendous that you are in daily contact, even if she doesn't always understand. Cats keep secrets very well and appreciate their loving owners.

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  16. "Fed up" reminded me of a former colleague who used to say that whenever the work was too much to cope with.
    It's a blessing to have someone around to whom one can turn to for understanding and comfort.
    Some people have lots of friends, some have very few. Each to their own. Whatever suits them.

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    1. You're quite right - some people need lots of people around, others are more solitary.

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  17. I appreciate you sharing this. Some days we just wake up like this don't we? As you said ' this too shall pass'
    Thinking of you x
    Alison in Wales x

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    1. Thank you, Alison. I don't often share the darker days. x x x

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  18. I'm wishing that brighter days will settle in soon for you. Thankfully you have your wonderful husband, cats and dogs to steer you through the darker days.

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    1. Oh, that's so kind of you , Stephanie, thank you.

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  19. Oh, Jabblog. Same, sistah! Same!

    It is a struggle, and it is one I've been tossing around since last fall. I think that I've found something that works for me, at least for the time being, but the world is a heartbreaking place right now.

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    1. The shameful thing is that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. When I look around and see what others have to endure, I realise my self-absorption and regret it. You have more than one reason personally for sadness and I admire your attitude.

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  20. Hi Janice - 'having no-one' in my life as such is fine by me - I cope and can live vicariously via others if I need to - self-sufficient I am ... luckily. I don't do social media, and with no husband or partner, I just enjoy blogging and the rapport I get around that sphere ... and then out and about with friends and foes at various groups here in town. At least I live with my own brain and life ... but on occasions can get a bit down - but fortunately am able to pull myself up and out. Take care - Spring will soon be here and we'll all feel easier - cheers on Valentine's Day or Ash Wednesday ... whichever suits this moment's need!!!! Hilary

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    1. I have no time for Valentine's Day, as you may have gathered, so Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, suits me fine:-)

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  21. I was an only child, but had many friends to play with, Later friends came and went, like you my best friend was Rick who had a lot of patience with me. Now I realize that I miss him more than I thought. I thought I am an independent woman, yes in one way it's true, I was when he was there, now I have to get used to do everything by myself, I did it before too, but I wasn't. Strange is that my last friends from Scrabble and painting all disappeared, but old once from my childhood and office, suddenly appeared. Here I keep my distance, I am happy alone and when I need company I join the activities. The one with whom I get really well along is my 100 year old friend. That's amazing, we have a lot in common. Fed up I always wrote "Fat up" and thought it has something to do with fat ! Until a friendly soul told me the difference !

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    1. I like 'fat up'. I know you've had a really hard time since Rick died, but hopefully your move is helping you - new environment, new faces, all can help.

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  22. That post could have been written by me, Janice! Not only am I in exactly the same state of mind - although I'm currently having a couple of unexpected good days - I too mostly turn to my husband for support. I too don't have a large social network. Never have and never will. I do have one very understanding friend, though. And my blog pals, who often understand me better than any of my real life acquaintances. Brighter days will come for both of us, I'm sure. In the meantime, I'm sure Barry and your lovely pets will be your rocks! xxx

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  23. I don't know what happened to my reply! Anyway, I'm sorry you've been feeling blue, but you've not been very well for a while, so that's bound to have had an effect. You always sound so upbeat, though, so well done, Ann:-) x x x

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  24. I don't think this time of year helps either ...
    I do hope your fed-up feeling pass soon.

    Sending lots of good wishes your way.

    All the best Jan

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    1. You're right - dull days don't lift the spirit much:-)

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  25. I think you have what my dear late Mum would have called " a bad case of fed-up-itus". Which we all get from time to time & just also remember "this too shall pass". I say this to myself often! Take care Janice.

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  26. Hoping things get better soon. I don't have a group of friends either. I prefer being alone most of the time. My Mum always said that was because I had a house full and I would feel different if I was alone all the time. However I think it's been this way since I was a child. I'm just a bit socially awkward which doesn't help.

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  27. Oh, me too. I can stop a conversation dead with a remark which makes sense to me.

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