Barry had to have a routine blood test a few weeks ago. When he phoned the surgery for the results he was told they had been lost by the laboratory and could he give them some more blood? So the appointment was made and then later changed by the surgery.
Eventually he went to have a sample taken early one morning which was just as well because it was a 'fasting' blood test. He noticed that the nurse didn't take as much as she had done before but thought no more about it. Today the surgery phoned, full of apologies because not enough of his blood had been siphoned off for the various tests to be conducted. Would it be possible for him to attend tomorrow morning?
Barry then explained that he has not been feeling very well for a couple of days and would rather not go out unless absolutely necessary. The receptionist asked him to describe his symptoms and then advised him to contact the NHS help line. After a short conversation it was confirmed that he has swine flu. There is nothing further to be done. He will remain in bed where he has been for the last two days, and continue taking paracetamol and plenty of fluids.
Now, I know I really shouldn't say this and I don't mean a word of it but I simply cannot resist . . . I always said he was a pig and now he's got the flu to prove it!