Saturday, 16 May 2009

Tales from the Academy – teeth!

Sandhurst officer cadets learn very quickly that it is unwise to do anything that might draw close attention. Talking in the ranks on parade is strictly discouraged and so the participants learn to develop extraordinary ventriloquial skills. On the parade ground impassivity is required no matter what might be happening and the cadets discover that they can display monumental self-control.

On one such occasion this self-discipline was tested to the very limit. The Warrant Officer taking the parade was an imposing Irish Guard of great stature and ferocity splendidly turned out in impeccable style. A small incident, now lost to memory, caused him to remonstrate fervently and at length with the offending cadet to the entertainment of his peers. The WO got into his verbal stride, seeking ever more amusingly cutting comments. His decibel level increased in step with his creativity. As he reached his apogee his false teeth flew out and the cadets were hard-pressed to contain their mirth.

History has not recorded how the teeth were recovered and by whom.

Though the preceding details are correct certain facts may have been omitted in the interests of protecting the innocent!!


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