Blowhard

                                            Full of hot air

Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

By chance, I happened on a very expressive word the other day – bloviate. The dictionary informs me that it is an informal American verb, meaning 'to talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way’.

A person who bloviates could be described as a blowhard, a boastful, pompous person who professes vast knowledge and experience, but is soon found to be full of noise and wind. The word comes from the nickname for a sailor in the late 18^th century and probably referred to his occupation as a person often subjected to stormy weather. Its further or additional meaning as a braggart came about in 1840.

A blowhard may be a woman, but the term is more usually applied to a man. Politicians are often described thus, sometimes unjustly.

Blowhards are exceedingly difficult people with whom to converse because they know everything and will never admit that they have made a mistake as they cannot believe they would ever be wrong. They are insensitive and talk over others, and most people soon abandon any attempts at a meaningful dialogue. 

It is doubly difficult, because the blowhard never listens to any voice other than his own, which is usually very loud. It has to be loud because he claims that he likes to perform poetry in pubs or on the tops of mountains, among other things.

 Strangely, although he shouts most of the time, he cannot project his voice. If asked to read a passage in a quiet location, like a library, a museum or a hall, his voice fades away and is barely audible.

 You may have a friend who is a wine connoisseur. The blowhard enthusiastically knows everything your friend knows, and more. Not only is he incapable of listening, but his information is also frequently inaccurate and oft repeated. 

He knows as much history as the most scholarly historian, has journeyed as widely as the best travel-writer, is an intuitive scientist, a would-be explorer, an expert antiquarian and a wonderful architect. He is an expert on all sports on land, in the air or on the sea (and under it). Nothing he hears surprises him because he’s heard it all before. In fact, he was probably born knowing everything.

He has his own way of pronouncing words, which makes them incomprehensible to any listener. So convincing is his mispronunciation, that people begin to think he has used words with which they are unfamiliar and scurry off to try to find out more about them. Perhaps because of this, his writing and spelling are confusing, and his grammar is poor.

The blowhard does little to help at home or in the workplace, but roundly criticises those who do the work for not doing it the way he would have done it, had he found the energy to stand up and get on with it. He is lazy, content to watch and disparage others. 

He likes the ‘good things’ in life and pursues them, even though he cannot afford them, but it is important to him that he is seen to be keeping up with his ‘friends’. He likes to appear at all the major sporting and cultural events of the year. To this end, his ‘social calendar’ is full, though he is never likely to gain admittance to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot or be awarded a VVIP lapel badge. In fact, he would be fortunate to have even a VIP badge. 

The blowhard claims anyone he has ever met to be a friend, or even ‘a great friend.’ Whether people are pleased to be honoured with such friendship is questionable. When someone’s name comes up in conversation, he will say, ‘Oh, yes, I know him/her very well.’ Later, you discover that he has met this person once or twice and did not make a good impression on them.

In short, the blowhard is a tiresome individual, but happy, because he knows he is always right and that his way of doing things, if he ever does them, is the correct and only way. Of course, he talks himself into trouble and works hard to talk himself out again, using all sorts of excuses to extricate himself.

It is never his fault, and he never apologises, for, after all, why should he?

Do you know any blowhards? I’ve met several, even worked with some, and seen many more.