The Spider in Barry’s Eye

The morning Barry woke up with a spider in his eye it was sufficiently convincing to make him try and swat it away but it wasn’t a real arachnid. When he started seeing flashing lights he hot-footed it to the doctor who suspected a detached retina and tried to arrange an emergency hospital appointment, only it was the Day of the Strike, which turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. Stores nationwide reported a significant rise in their takings. However, hospitals were only admitting life-threatening emergencies and Barry’s predicament wasn’t urgent enough so he had to wait until the next day which meant that he had to cancel his luncheon appointment in London.

It was probable that he would have drops in his eye/s which would make his vision blurry making driving difficult for him and dangerous for fellow drivers! Therefore, as I was expecting to drop him off, I drove the twenty minutes or so to the hospital, which was not good exercise for my shoulder.  

As with most hospitals, or so it seems, a slow queue of cars inched towards the already full car park. I wasn’t intending to enter the car park but there was no way past the queue. We had agreed that Barry would register for his appointment, he would find out how long he might have to wait and let me know. If it was likely to be a short time, generally an unlikely scenario, I would stooge around and pick him up. If longer, I would go home and await his call. He was informed that he would have to wait at least an hour so I drove home, wincing all the way.

I had just beaten off over-excited dogs, principally Gus, who cannot tell the time and thought he’d been abandoned for at least twenty-four hours, and eaten a sandwich when Barry rang to tell me he was waiting for me to collect him. I clambered back into the car, pointed it in the direction of the hospital and gritted my teeth for the drive. 

The good news was that Barry’s retina was still firmly attached. Some of the vitreous gel had leaked causing the spider effect. His brain will eventually block the spider, just as it does floaters. I have learnt not to ask how the spider is . . .

Nonetheless he was advised that should the flashing lights recur with partial blanking of vision he must return post-haste to Accident and Emergency.

At the same time the central heating went on the blink – but that’s another story!