Friday 22 September 2023

‘Stab me vitals’

 

‘Stab me vitals’



 It wasn’t really a case of being stabbed, more skewered, as I attempted to remove Jellicoe from my lap and he attempted to prevent me doing so. He’s a gentle cat, not given to scratching or biting humans, but he was trying to hang on to his comfortable place and accidentally hooked my finger with his claw. It was just one claw and just one finger but it hurt like billy-oh and bled freely. Two days later it’s still sore and causes me to wince if I forget and grab something with the hand to which it is attached.

‘Stab me vitals’ came into my head quite by chance and though my fingers are important to me, they could hardly be described as ‘vitals’. Vitals are the main organs of the body, or so I believe. It would take a very long, very strong claw to reach them.

Apparently, the original expression was ‘Stap my vitals’, meaning ‘Stop my vitals’. I gather it was an affectation of Lord Foppington in the play ‘The Relapse’ to substitute ‘a’ for ‘o’ (thanks to David McKie for that information)

It reminds me of how people used to pronounce ‘hat’ as ‘het’ and ‘impact’ as ‘impect’.

 ‘Thenks for the mammary, but I’ve rather gorn orf topic nyee.’


18 comments:

  1. Cats' claws (and teeth) are real weapons. Your poor finger!

    Sometimes having "gorn orf topic" just makes life more interesting :)

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    1. Otherwise known as being scatterbrained;-)

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  2. Oh dear, that sounds a nasty little injury. I hope it's fully better soon. A hurt finger might not be vital but it's something one certainly notices as one uses one's hands all the time.
    Cheers, Gail.

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  3. I'd be wary of "cat scratch fever" and have that finger disinfected right away. I do that every single time Lola manages to gat a claw or two into me, straight to the bathroom and douse it with dettol, then a bandaid to keep it clean for a day or two.

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    1. Funnily enough, I was thinking about cat scratch fever. I've never had it but worked with someone who did, so am always aware.

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  4. Fingers are tender, a paper cut, prick with a needle, they all hurt as we try and use our hands.

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    1. Paper cuts are painful and always so unexpected.

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  5. What women think of as their vitals may not match what men think of as their vitals.

    I have a vertical line in my right forefinger fingernail from forty years ago when a cat sang its claws in deeply into my finger. This of course before there YouTube videos that can show you how to give a cat a pill without self damage.

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    1. That must have been so painful. Pilling the cat is an exercise in ingenuity.

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  6. And if he is like Mr T he is so very remorseful afterwards.

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  7. Remorseful in a very different manner to dogs, too - much quieter.

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  8. Sore fingers are a constant reminder. I've had the claw in the finger before, and remember. Mostly I get multiple claw pokes on the shins when Precious is finished with her 3 hour evening nap and launches off me like I'm Cape Canaveral.

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    1. Jet-propelled cat! The claws are not there for long but they leave their mark.

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  9. Hi Janice - those sorts of claw-holders do make for sore bits of a human bod - hope it heals soon; poor Jellicoe being disturbed so!! I must admit to not knowing about 'stab me vitals' ... though might use it occasionally now! Cheers Hilary

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  10. I don't know where or how I picked up the expression - my head is full of useless bits and pieces!

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  11. I didn't know the expression, so thank you for the education Janice.
    Your poor finger, though. That said, I'm full of scratches administered by an overenthusiastic Bess. And I was once scratched in the nose by my first cat, as he didn't like it when I picked him up. xxx

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    1. It's quite fun to say, 'Stab me vitals' along with 'Gadzooks' and 'Zounds' and other quaint and outdated expressions!

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