Tuesday 5 September 2023

First day at Big School

 

First day at Big School

Children starting Big School for the first time yesterday will have been excited to see the latest post box topper. The clever, thoughtful creators have been hard at work again. Look at those big, fat crayons, just right for little fingers. You can almost smell the wax!

‘Big School’ is what we call the first ‘proper’ school our children attend. It’s an exciting time for four-year-olds and an expression that has been used for better or worse in the year(s) leading up to that momentous occasion in September.

 Big School may be used as an inducement to encourage acceptable behaviour, as in, ‘You can have X, Y, Z when you go to Big School if you A, B, C. (Fill in your own bribes!)

Naughty children – are there such things these days, or is that too damaging? – well, then, children who are not cooperating with their parents or carers, are told, ‘You won’t be able to do that when you go to Big School’.

It may be said in tones of disappointment - ‘I don’t think anyone will think that’s very clever/funny/kind/grown-up at Big School.’

I like the googly eyes on the post box!

So Big School is built up in the child’s mind as a wondrous place full of Big People ready to praise or disapprove of them. Those who have siblings will take all the blather with a huge pinch of salt. They have seen their brothers and sisters return from school unscathed and know that it’s all in the noise and it’s just the grown-ups trying to maintain some sort of control.

So the little ones trot off to school in their smart new uniforms, socks pulled up neatly, new shoes blindingly polished, shiny faces wreathed in smiles with not a hair out of place – some may even be wearing pretty ribbons. Holding tightly to Mummy’s hand, (for the sake of argument, we’ll say it’s Mummy) they skip along, chattering happily, eager and a little apprehensive, even the worldly-wise ones with the older, experienced siblings. They reach the classroom door, go inside and find their pegs with their names on, it’s all new and thrilling . . . and then they have to say goodbye. Some will part without a backward glance, but others will cling, chin wobbling, tears threatening, as they realise they’re going to be left in this big unfamiliar place, even if they’ve been in and out of the school for years with their siblings.

No matter how well children have been prepared for this day, the reality strikes hard, for Mummy as well. This is the 4-year-old’s first step into the big, wide world, having to acknowledge another adult’s expectations. The end of the day is an unimaginably long way off.

Those whose children have parted from them with astonishing aplomb should not feel too self-congratulatory, for once a small child realises that the excitement of school is not just for a few days but what seems like FOREVER, the tears come, perhaps three weeks after the start of term. By this time, the nervous children have settled happily and look askance at their previously assured peers. There’s always at least one kind child who will offer comfort, and sometimes it’s to the now distraught parent as well.

Being told that such behaviour is perfectly normal and children survive, the tears drying as soon as the adult has left, is little consolation, but these tribulations pass.

The end of the first day comes and anxious parents wait to greet their youngsters, but what’s this? The children rush forward, shoes scuffed, socks at half-mast, untidy hair sticking to hot, grubby faces, a grazed knee or two. Can these rascals and hoydens really be the same beautifully-turned-out children of the morning?

Everyone has survived and tomorrow they’ll do it all again and it will become another of life’s routines. There’s often one child, though, who will be disappointed.  ‘He thought he’d be able to read,’ said one mother apologetically after her son’s first day. That little boy did learn to read, after about three days, but that’s unusual. Another might say, ‘I’ve been to school,’ not realising it’s an experience to be repeated for several years. Reality is so hard to take!


20 comments:

  1. Our first son could read in kindergarten and was very excited about starting primary school. He practised wearing his uniform for two months over the summer holidays :)

    However I think 4 is way too young for most children to leave kindergarten. By 5 1/2, they are smarter, more confident and keen to join the older sibling. Even today, primary schooling is only mandatory at 6.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. Formal schooling starts far too young in UK. Many European countries have the option to start at 6 or 7, allowing the children to continue to develop at an unforced pace. Our children are tested over and over again and still far too many slip through the net and leave school barely literate and numerate.

      Delete
  2. Here in Australia four year olds go to Kindergarten, then those aged five and six are in "infant school", grades one and two, although I'm not exactly sure on this as when I went to school kids were almost or already 8 by grade three, which means starting grade one at age six. Ah, now I remember, age five is the "prep" grade, then grades 1&2 are for 6&7 year olds. We used to have grade 7 in primary school but now most schools have moved those 12 year olds to high school.
    I knew how to read when I started school and was very disappointed to have to sit through the reading classes and having to "learn" what I already knew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems that no system is perfect and too many children are made to waste time being taught as a group rather than individually. It's too slow for the quickest and too fast for the slower.

      Delete
  3. i can well remember my own first day at ‘big school’. We went from being the oldest and biggest, as we’d felt quite important being prefects, to being the youngest and everyone was looking at us ‘littlies’. It was very strange!

    ReplyDelete
  4. All I remember of my first day at school was my mother walking me there - about a mile - and after that I took myself to school.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You've summed it up so well. I don't know why I know this as it is different to my beginning school. I vividly remember my third day at school. It was horrible.

    ReplyDelete

  6. The happiest days of your life - once they're over ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. In Belgium mothers mostly work, they had made their studies and don't want to be a housewife only. Therefore we have (compared to other countries) a lot of "crรจche" where the babies at 4 months go until 2 1/2 years or 3 depends if it is "clean" or not. Then starts Kindergarten until 5 or 6 years and then the secondary school. Dario loved the crรจche and so did Toby. As they were used to be with other children from baby age on there were no tears either or only a few. Uniforms don't exist, so everybody had mostly Jeans and a pullover or whatever they wanted. In Holland they have no classes but groups it depends how the child follows. Toby in math was with a group of older children because he was too good and got bored. For the other things he remained with the same group. Now he is in a school where you choose Dutch and English, as almost all schools do there. So he has math in Dutch and another course and the rest in English. as foreign language he could choose between German and French and he choose German, as he speaks already french fluently ! Finland's school system is the best followed by the Dutch, and Belgium and France are the worst.
    I rather think like Einstein who hated school and had to repeat 3 times a class. My son was a catastrophe in school, but a genius in practical life. If you see advertising from Coca Cola, Nike and Addidas that's from him !

    ReplyDelete
  8. Those systems sound so much better than ours. Most of us speak just one language and that not always very well. It's time we woke up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Janice - early school is long long ago! I remember bits and bits ...not much about school per se - the place, the journeys too and fro, the other kids and parents - we had to get a bus ... a best friend & I who lived over the road - we were 5 miles away. Those were the days ... cheers and I love that post box topper! Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In some ways, life was so much simpler . . .

      Delete
  10. Mia Mama...She take me to school...first school,
    infant school, aged five...! :(
    She left me behind the 'bars' in the small playground..!
    With all the other grubby kids..she left me there...! :(.
    By the time she got home, l was there before her...
    I decided to 'leg it'..no way was l puting up with that,
    so for the next few days, l did the same thing, until l
    was watched and restrained and keep at school....! :(.
    God! How l hated it...! :O(.

    As far as the 'BIG' school was concerned, l hated even
    more...stuck it out for some 4yrs, l'd done my sentence,
    got parole, and moved onto college, the rest is history!

    Love the pillar~box covers..got loads in a folder...! :O).
    ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท

    ReplyDelete
  11. First days at school are totally different to what the children are used to and to some quite traumatic. Your comment about one kind child reminded me of something my daughter told me about when our youngest grand-daughter started in Year 1. In her class there was a girl who would cling crying to her mother before she went in, which was, obviously, upsetting the mother. After a few days of this happening my grand-daughter went over to the crying girl, took the girls hand and the girl immediately stopped crying and they walked into school together and have been firm friends ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a kind granddaughter, and a credit to her family:-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. My nephew came home from his first day at school mortally offended by the experience - "don't they know I can read?" He complained to his mother.

    ReplyDelete
  14. School is so different now from when I was a child. But we survived being stuck behind a desk and told to be quiet!

    ReplyDelete
  15. There was a fathomless gap between teacher and child, then.

    ReplyDelete



Thank you for visiting. I love to read your comments and really appreciate you taking the time to respond to posts.

I will always try to repay your visit whenever possible.