Thursday 29 July 2010

Winston’s late July blog 2010

Winston here . . . p'rrrrr, p'rrrrr . . .
It's quite cold today and there's no sun so I don't think I'll be lying around in the conservatory. I'll stay in the sitting room with everyone else. It's a full house here again don'tcha know. Gillian and Paul and the children come to stay at the weekend. Natch, Tia and Foxy come with them. Gillian and all came up to a weeding but they all got dressed up in their best clothes and went out for a couple of hours and didn't even go out in the garden. I'm only a cat but even I can see that there are things out there that shouldn't be allowed to grow. Anyway, they all come back and got back into their ordinary clothes but they still didn't go outside, just sat down and had something to eat and watched the Tooduh Prance. I'm not much of a television watcher, not like Monty was, but all I could see was lots of men riding bicycles in great big groups. Sometimes some of them raced ahead and then others passed them but no-one seemed to win. The Humans liked it, though.
A bit later Paul and Gillian and the children put their best clothes on again and went out for an evening deception and they didn't come back till the next morning. Then they all went back to their own home, but they left Tia and Foxy here so I s'pose it's holidays again. On Monday Mr Human went off in his car all loaded up with all-skins and safely harmlesses. He was going to meet Gillian and the children at the boat. Paul had to work. I've never seen the boat but Mr H and everyone likes it, 'cept for Mrs H. She's all on her own now, 'cept there are six dogs in the house as well as me, so she's not lonely or looking for something to do. Mr H keeps phoning her to find out what the wind's doing. Well, I'd tell him to just look out of the window, but Mrs H gets the laptop and looks up something called the Met Office and tells him where the wind is and how fast it's going. Mr H could do it himself on the boat but he likes to keep her busy don'tcha know.
Yesterday Mrs H took Tia to see Nadia-the-Vet. She had some knotted string called snitches that had to be cut off her. It was holding her together after her operation but all the bits have joined up together again now so she don't need it no more. She had a huge cut, much bigger than Buddy's, and she had more fur cut away than him too even though he's a lot larger than her. Anyway, she must not go out 'cos there's fluid under the cut and it's got to disappear on its own, so she's got to be really quiet and have lots of rest. It hasn't stopped her grumbling at Buddy so I don't think she understands what being quiet means. She was upset when Mrs H took Frodo and Jenna and Foxy and Gus out for a walk but she had Buddy and me for company even though we was in a different room.
Buddy's doing really well after his big operation in June – he was a very poorly boy then and I thought he was a goner. He wears a harness so that the Humans can help him up steps and things if he gets stuck. He don't like them helping him up onto the settee even when he's whingeing. If they help him he turns round and gets straight off again and then climbs up on his own. He's awkward! He's ever so much brighter now and strong, too. He should be, 'cos he gets three or four meals a day – the rest of us only gets two. It's a bit of a palaver going downstairs in the mornings 'cos he don't see very well, specially when it's dark, so Mrs H holds onto his harness with one hand and the banister with the other and guides him down. He sounds like a steam engine 'cos he uses his nose to work out where he is. The other morning he went sideways and Frodo, who was a bit wobbly that day, fell down behind him and then got stuck between the poles* on the stairs. His head and front legs was on the stairs and his back legs was dangling in space. Buddy had fallen flat on the floor with his legs stretched either side - Mrs H said 'like a starfish' - and he couldn't get up and Mrs H didn't know which one to help first. Buddy was desperate to go out for a pee and she was worried Frodo would do his falling bit. Anyway, she yelled for Mr H to give her a hand. He was still in bed – well, it was just before dawn, so it was quite early. They was none the worse for it and Frodo didn't do any falling. I'm glad I'm a cat – I can leap out of the way real quick. The dogs trip over each other – clumsy things.
Since I've been on short rations, or what Mrs H calls 'a controlled diet', I'm always hungry, specially in the morning but I've still got my lovely tiger tummy. She won't feed us at 4:00 am or 5:00 am– I don't know why – so when she does show signs of serving out the food, me and Frodo makes lots of noise just so she don't suddenly forget. Then we all go to sleep for several hours and leave her in peace. I don't know what she does then. I 'spect she sleeps too! **
Time for a bit more shut-eye. Be good!
*Mrs H's note: the poles run from stair tread to ceiling and are a feature of the houses in this area. We are in the process of replacing them. There used to be poles outside every front door, too, but most people have removed them. It's my belief the architects of this housing project were influenced by the proximity of the large institution whose inmates have to be kept securely locked in! No, I'm not referring to the public school but the place at the other end of the village that we all call, quite incorrectly but perfectly accurately the 'Hospital for the Criminally Insane', though, to be fair, not all the 'residents' are murderers and rapists and arsonists – just most of them!
**Mrs H's note: Huh! Chance would be a fine thing!


  1. It seems that you have a very agitated cat life in this house !
    I am angry with the TV, first they only showed football now bikes !
    It's very generous of you to keep your humans hand warm with all the trouble around you !

  2. Please can you persuade your cat to use more paragraph breaks, as I kept running out of breath, trying to read this all in one go! :) LOL

  3. Ella Nesbitt here prr prrrrrrrrrrrr!
    nice to meet you! I am in for the night now - and am hogging mummy's chair! hahahaha!

  4. Winston writes like my sister does. Only she doesn't use any punctuation at all, which makes reading her emails quite an undertaking and open to all sorts of interpretations.

    This sure sounds like a busy household, with all that fur going up and down the stairs in all kinds of different manners.

    (Are you not afraid the roof will collapse if you remove all the poles that were put there by the architect? Just sayin')

  5. My Dogness Winston! what were you thinking? Meals at 4 -5 AM!!!???!!
    Even we Labradawgs would rather sleep than eat at such unearthly unthinkably early hours. Of course the fact remains that even if we wanted to eat, someone has to feed us and there is absolutely NO ONE who we know in this household who would consent to get up before 7-ish (read way after....!)even if their lives were at stake!!
    we are glad that Tia and Buddy are better.Hope Tia's wound heals soon.
    Mummy sends all of you heaps of hugs,
    Ginger and Buddy

  6. Winston asked me to thank you all and pass on his remarks! (He's asleep again - it's such hard work being a cat in a smelly doggy househole - I mean household)
    Gattina - he lives only to serve and makes a very acceptable muff (that's for the hands, you smirkers!)
    jinksy - he tries very hard and it's pretty amazing he can put anything other than nose smudges on the screen, so, a little patience, please, and big breaths, no matter what your age;-)
    mrsnesbitt - Ella, I've seen your photo and I like your style. Maybe we could get together some time - for company, you understand, 'cos I've been seen to!
    Carolina - the poles are merely *cough* decorative. The porch didn't fall down and we're confident, we think, that the stairs will remain in situ.I'll keep you posted :-)
    Aksharaa - Ginger and Buddy, get over here quick. She's quite a soft touch really . . .

  7. Winston, I really enjoy your commentary on life with humans and your animal friends! I agree, humans are very hard to predict or understand sometimes.


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