Nose grafting

 

Nose grafting

It’s January 3^rd so it’s Dermatology Day. Barry has gone to have his nose grafted, apparently.

This prospect had us considering all sorts of possibilities. Will the nose be surgically removed and replaced upside down in roughly the same position, or next to an eye, perhaps? Should a Picasso artist (read that carefully!) be consulted? There must be some up and coming design student who could enlighten the dermatology department as to the most efficient and aesthetically pleasing placement.

Where should the nostrils be positioned and in what relation to the rest of the face? Indeed, should they be separated to enhance the olfactory experience – one either side of the chin, maybe, or one on the forehead and one on the chest? The possibilities are endless.

I await his return with bated breath. Will the man I have known and loved these many (many, many) years be utterly transformed?

It’s a nice nose. Let it live untrammelled and unaltered, doing the job it’s always done so faithfully.

 

I thought this poem by Maya Angelou rather amusing.

When I was in my younger days,

I weighed a few pounds less,

I needn’t hold my tummy in

To wear a belted dress.

 

But now that I am older,

I’ve set my body free;

There’s the comfort of elastic

Where once my waist would be.

 

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes

My feet have not forgiven;

I have to wear a nine now,

But used to wear a seven.

 

And how about those pantyhose –

They’re sized by weight, you see,

So how come when I put them on

The crotch is at my knee?

 

I need to wear these glasses

As the print’s been getting smaller;

And it wasn’t very long ago

I know that I was taller.

 

Though my hair has turned to gray

And my skin no longer fits,

On the inside, I’m the same old me,

It’s the outside’s changed a bit.

I would add that policemen and doctors are impossibly young, little more than school children, bottle tops are screwed on improbably tightly, pounds and kilos weigh twice as much as they used to, and distances have stretched.

Growing older is such fun!

Rise and shine!

 

Rise and shine!

On the Friday before Christmas, our alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. People rise early when they’re going on holiday, I understand, and a change is as good as a rest, and this was a change.

Herschel and Jellicoe were astonished but gratified to find their breakfast bowls filled. The dogs were alarmed to discover that no such treatment was offered them.

At 6:00 we set off for a dark, quiet trip to the hospital. By 7:00 we were sitting in the reception area waiting to be ‘collected.’ Several other people were similarly seated, then two extremely cheerful ladies appeared and wished everyone 'Good morning.’ My name was called and we proceeded to ‘my’ room – well, it was mine for the duration of my short stay. I thanked the lady for her cheerful, upbeat welcome and she said that some people actually don’t like the cheeriness. I suppose that’s understandable if you’re facing something really serious.

When I was wheeled into the theatre, feeling rather unnecessary because I could easily have walked, I was greeted with cheerful Christmas carols and suitably suited and booted medical staff. One of them said, ‘You’ve got a painful back, you should see someone about that,’ which made me laugh.

The next thing I knew, I was talking to a charming young Portuguese man and soon after was returned to my room.

I was home again by 3:00 p.m. Barry had driven the 45-minute journey four times, and between whiles had taken Roxy and Gilbert out for their walks, so he was feeling a little weary.

Now I wait to see if the procedure has been successful. At the moment, it’s a wandering pain, so I suppose that’s progress of a sort. Honestly, though, when I look around and see what other people have to cope with, I count myself fortunate indeed.

Archaic language

 

Archaic language

Yorkshire Pudding and Anvil Cloud drew attention to the archaic language in the Christmas carol ‘Ding dong merrily on high.’

English is a rich language, borrowing much from other languages. Just like the inhabitants of the British Isles, it is a mongrel. It is one of the Indo-European languages, which are spoken in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. Almost half the world’s populations speak one of its languages. 

English is basically a Germanic language, sharing much of its origin with German, Dutch and Swedish. It had its origins in mediaeval England in Great Britain. Within it can be found Celtic and Latin influences.

I think there is a melding of archaic language and dialect, which makes our colloquialisms and vocabulary colourful and interesting.

There is much emphasis in schools on ‘correct’ language and pronunciation and to some extent this is necessary if we are to understand one another, but there must be a place for individualism. We would be poorer if we could no longer hear the distinctive voices of the Black Country, Dorset, Norfolk, Ireland, Cumbria, and all points north, south, east, and west.

With so much influence from the media, we are in danger of slipping into a lazy accommodation, when we use the same expressions and pronunciation, simply because that is more convenient and saves us the effort of thinking of individual ways of speaking. So, we say ‘twenty-four seven’ when we mean constantly or exhaustively or ceaselessly. We say we are going to ‘regroup’ when what we intend to do is consider the path or the action we will take next, or simply stop and think. We are always ‘shattered’ rather than exhausted or fatigued. People are ‘stressed’ from the ‘traumas’ they experience, rather than unsettled by circumstances.

When was the last time you heard someone using ‘thee’ or ‘boughten bread’ or ‘home growen,’ or referring to a young girl as a ‘maid?’

 Have you heard, ‘Where’s he to?’ meaning ‘Where is he?’ or ‘Wait while’ rather than ‘Wait until?’

Once you start listening to people talking casually to each other, there are all sorts of colourful phrases that emerge that enrich language and vocabulary. I don’t think we’ll ever return to a time when we ‘thee’ and ‘thou’ each other, but ‘yea’ is still in use in official parliamentary language, including in the United States Congress.

I still use ‘wench’ for a young woman, though more humorously than seriously, and ‘trusty steed,’ again in a light-hearted manner.

However, I always say, ‘I’ll see you anon,’ when I take my leave of someone.

Do you use any expressions that others might find unusual?