Remembrance
On a day when many have gathered to celebrate the life of Gail of ‘Nice Nobby/Naughty Nobby,’ I received a reminder to wish another blogger a happy birthday. I know that this person died in a car crash several years ago and is still missed and mourned by many.
The impact some people have cannot be measured accurately, for it is only with their passing that the absence of their presence is felt. A funeral or memorial gathering is the finest party the departed soul will ever have. In many cases, it would be a surprise to the central, missing character that they had made such an impression on so many.
We do not tell our families and friends frequently enough how much we love and appreciate them. Beautiful words and flowers are manifestations of the regret so often felt for the many times that calls were not made, or meetings were postponed or cancelled.
Humans are fragile, confidence and self-belief easily crushed. Philip Larkin (1922-1985) said, ‘We should be kind while there is still time.’
‘I wish I had’ are some of the saddest words, and so often heard on such occasions.
Be kind while there is still time is wise advice indeed - advice that I pledge to try to follow.
ReplyDeleteHarsh words hastily spoken are soon regretted but rarely forgotten.
DeleteI am sorry about your friend, and your reminder that we 'should be kind while there is still time' is a timely one. It is beginning to feel as if it is too late here.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble is that kindness is not clever or smart or amusing, but it's much more than the sum of all those.
DeleteMy grandmother died on her 75th birthday. She would have been so mad to have missed out on a party with all the people who turned up for her funeral - many of whom would not have made the effort for a birthday party had we planned one. I hope Gail would have been amused by the tales shared at her celebration.
ReplyDeleteMy sister likewise would so have enjoyed seeing everyone at her funeral. People make the effort for funerals more than for almost any other event.
DeleteIsn't that the perfect saying. To leave this earth with no regrets is another one I feel is important.
ReplyDeleteI like your saying - 'to leave this earth with no regrets' is something we could all aspire to.
DeleteThank you Janice. Sometimes we all need such a gentle reminder.
ReplyDeleteThank you, JayCee.
DeleteSome people are to be remembered
ReplyDeleteThey are, indeed.
DeleteThank you. Talking freely with people you love is so important. Absence can creep up on you when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteYour last sentence speaks truth.
DeleteYou are correct, we do forget often to say how we feel to those closest to us, being loved is the best feeling, friendship is brilliant, it's as important as food and water.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right - life is empty without love.
DeleteAll the love shared. All the secrets too. All the questions asked and the answers given. All the papers located. All in place... It is highly unusual for a human life to end like that - signed and sealed, neat and tidy. No - endings tends to be raggedy, blurry and often accompanied by a liquorice allsorts bag of "if onlys".
ReplyDeleteSome endings are tidier than others, but you're right, most are messy and chaotic.
DeleteI love the Philip Larkin quote.
ReplyDeleteSomething to live by.
DeleteA heartfelt post for you friends. I love the quote "We should be kind while we still have time". Life is definitely too short
ReplyDeleteIt passes so quickly, almost while we're not looking. At least, that's how it feels to me.
DeleteI don't know why my first comment disappeared so here it is again...
ReplyDeleteAll the love shared. All the secrets too. All the questions asked and the answers given. All the papers located. All in place... It is highly unusual for a human life to end like that - signed and sealed, neat and tidy. No - endings tends to be raggedy, blurry and often accompanied by a liquorice allsorts bag of "if onlys".
Hello again!
DeleteYour last sentence says it all. Once that person has left this world they leave a whole so big we don't think that we'll ever get through the grief.
ReplyDeleteThat big hole of grief remains, but becomes smaller and gentler with time. We never believe it will, but it does.
DeleteAll too true.
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DeleteIt's sad.
DeleteI've known several bloggers, who have left us and feel so sad remembering them sometimes and their blogs which were a delight to read..Thank you Jan for this today.
ReplyDeleteIt's odd that we can become so attached to people we've never met. I suppose we all have a need to 'connect.'
DeleteI have two 'remembrance' days of my own coming up in the next few days. One of a blogging/pen friend who died last year; and one of a close friend who died in 2023, and whom I had known for 47+ years. Sadly I was not able to attend the funeral of my Swedish friend (in another city) ; but miraculously, thanks to modern internet technology, I was actually able to digitally attend the funeral ceremony for my English friend. (As for my Swedish friend, I had met with her the summer before she passed away; and kind of knew then that that might be the last time. So thankful for that memory.)
ReplyDeleteI attended a digital funeral a couple of years ago. It was a strange but moving experience. I hope your remembrance days will be filled with more joy than sadness now.
DeleteThose of us of an age who have been doing this for a long time, do experience passings. I agree; they are missed.
ReplyDeleteThey are missed, but not forgotten.
DeleteI knew how shocking it was to lose people close to us, but losing a bloggy friend seemed to be less pressing. After all we might only speak to bloggy friend once a week, and if he/she lives in Canada and I am in Australia, the chances of us meeting are rare. Clearly I was wrong. I miss my Canadian blogging-mate as much as I miss my cousin who I only saw once each six months.
ReplyDeleteIt is surprising how invested we can become in the lives of people who are virtually strangers.
Deletethe quote at the end, I have copied and will use it in a planned post, and link to this post. a dear friend has had her confidence crushed and it is all due to comments made that sound ok but were taken a different way. one blogger always signs off with always be kind, on every post. it is the one thing we can all do
ReplyDeletewe loved Gail and she is sadly missed, as is her dear sweet Nobby. her sudden illness and death is a heads up for the I wish I had..
Gail's passing was so sudden that it took everyone by surprise. Better that than a lingering end, of course, for her.
ReplyDeleteYes, they are such sad words. xx
ReplyDeleteVery true. If only we could be present at our own funerals.
ReplyDelete😿
ReplyDeleteYes, we never know how long we will be here or how fast someone will be taken from us.
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post, and speaks a lot of truth.
ReplyDeleteThe things that are important do not cost anything.
ReplyDeleteKindness, a smile or hug and the words 'I love you' that is what is important.
Grief is never easy, but as we love and lose it is natural to grieve ... a big hole is left which I agree with you does become smaller and gentler with time. Memories of friends, relations, my parents and my beloved Eddie are always in my heart...
All the best Jan
I remember her well. None of us know what’s around the corner. You are very wise in your post today. Thank you for the reminder Janice.
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