Full stop

 

Full stop

I’ve come to a full stop (period for Americans), but unfortunately, the full stop key has ceased working! I read that pressing the space bar twice will produce a full stop – it doesn’t! Thus, all my sentences are now being finished with alternative punctuation, mostly exclamation marks! Google has been less than helpful!

I could ask the tech guru but I’m trying to keep him quiet! He claims that he’s fine and not feeling any ill effects from yesterday’s procedure, but methinks he speaks with double tongue! However, he is developing a splendidly colourful bruise – not quite a black eye, though given time, it may spread that far!

The offending article was excised and sent off for analysis and existing skin was stretched and pulled over the ‘wound!’ Is that why it’s called plastic surgery? (Nice change of punctuation, there!) Incidentally, the process was supposed to be ‘urgent’ – well, it only took four months, or five, depending on when the clock started ticking!

He has been told to keep his head upright for three days, so, no bending over to pick up parcels or shovel coal or any of the other things one does without thinking about the position of one’s head; he also has to sleep on his back with his head elevated and that’s easily accomplished as we have an adjustable bed!  

Naturally, Herschel immediately disappeared into the cavern underneath the bed, causing come concern in case he should be caught and squashed in the lifting/lowering mechanism – highly unlikely; he didn’t stay there long – it was warmer on our bed than under it!

I’m now using semi-colons as an alternative to exclamation marks – the book I’m presently reading uses a lot of those; it’s ‘Prophecy’ by S J Parris, the second of a series of seven, set in the turbulent times of Queen Elizabeth I! I’ve already read the seventh book, ‘Alchemy’ but none of the others! There’s nothing quite so brain- stirring as reading things in the wrong order and having to organise them into a sensible sequence!

Anyway, I’ve tried cleaning the keyboard; that is to say, I removed a couple of the tiles to discover a wealth of detritus under them and then I used a toothpick to scour between the keys! It wouldn’t take a detective to determine that we have animals, quite apart from the fact that we also are animals! I’m sure we’ve got a can of compressed air somewhere, but tomorrow will do! All the Heath Robinson cleaning has not had the desired effect, and I’ve turned off the computer twice and recharged the keyboard, all to no avail! C’est la vie!

I’ll consult the expert when he’s feeling livelier!

I never thought I’d get tired of exclamation marks . . . Ooh, hang on, my full stops have returned . . . these marvels of modern technology have a mind of their own - and now they’ve disappeared again, the little teases!