Friday 16 September 2011

Sea change

You must be so excited,
You must be awf’lly thrilled,
You must be quite delighted,
You must be frightf’lly skilled.

All too often I write ‘You must be . . . ‘ in comments on others’ blogs. What do I mean by ‘You must be’? Is it an order to be obeyed at all costs? Why do I assume that other people will react to circumstances in the way that I might?

I think it’s because I’m actually a very rather quite officious domineering bossy woman and worked for years in a job where what I said went – admittedly usually over the heads of those at to whom I was speaking. The habit is ingrained and I know think I know what’s best for everyone in my domain.

So maybe I should change my ways (can a leopard change its spots??) and suggest rather than dictate. How would that affect my commenting strategy (I have a strategy?)

Further remarks from me might include, ‘Are you excited?’, ‘Will you be disappointed?’, ‘Is there a chance that you might have had fun?’ or ‘I know how I would feel – how do you feel?’

Watch your comments boxes, dear readers, and see if you notice a sea change. (That phrase brings to mind ‘Full fathom five thy father lies’ which I sang as a school-girl, aeons ago.)

Maybe a sea change would be too gradual. I need a radical transformation. 


  1. Bossy? Truly? I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, but I haven't seen this in the comments of yours I've seen around these great Interwebz. Or maybe it's something I see, interpret, react, but never get offended by? Regardless, your comments are your opinions, and would changing the style of them do a disservice to your voice?

  2. Thank you, Joshua:-) I try to be honest in my comments but all too often find cliches flying off my fingers.

  3. OH, your comments are welcome and I would tell my Mom when she would apologize for giving her opinion...I listen, I hear but that doesn't mean I'll follow! Opine away...I love to hear your thoughts!


  4. I didn't notice that you were "bossy" lol ! Anyway these are standard comments, I have one I always use : What a (followed by, nice, ugly, red or whatever) Stay as you are, I am sure people love you just for that.

  5. Sometimes I agonize over a comment if someone is having troubles. How to say the right thing? Other times I can't think of anything to say but, "Great post!" And I mean it too, I'm just lost for words at the moment. Ah, it's a struggle. I don't see anything wrong with saying. "You must be..." I would never take offence at that.

  6. I would never have thought you bossy, I love that you have strong opinions. You're interesting, funny, witty, talented, and have presence ... don't change too much, we'd miss you! :o)

  7. This post is just so funny! Especially since I just read your "you must be " comment on my latest post. LOL! It didn't strike me as a bossy way to start a comment but when you break it down like that I can see what you mean!

    Now whenever I start a sentence with you must be i'll think of you! You must be so glad to have made that impact on me today! *snicker snicker* Have a great weekend :)

  8. Oh! I MUST be dreaming! MUST read again!
    Well, I don't think you are bossy and need a radical change!
    Your comments have always been very nice and I hope to have more;o)
    Thanks for sharing your deepest thoughts.

    Have a nice and happy weekend****

    Ps: Your banner is really gorgeous! Love it!

  9. (but honestly, I've never noticed that you're a bossy woman and I've never felt the need to comply to whatever you thought I must be/feel/think. In fact, you are often very right and I very much appreciate and value your comments. You must be a very wise woman ;-))

  10. I'm bossy to, but I like to refer to it as leadership skills :)

  11. Ah, but which would you rather be....bossy or ineffectual? I'm bossy and I quite like being that way. The trick is to laugh at ones own bossiness and that sugars the pill. You must.....sorry!

  12. Snicker, snicker (Suddenly, I'm a horse?? - thank you all for your kind comments. There's no danger or chance of me changing after all these years, but my husband makes sure I don't overstep the mark - he's often to be seen raising his hand and waiting to be allowed to make a comment;-);-)

  13. Don't change, Jabblog. There are some of us out here who identify very much with what you have to say. I'm bossy, and sometimes I just HAVE to jump into a blog comment with both feet, then I agonize for days and wish I hadn't.

  14. No, don't change Janice, we love you the way you are.

  15. Ha, I guess I need to start paying attention to how I phrase my comments, too. The pressure is on!

  16. Don't change a thing, your comments are more original than most and that includes my own.

  17. I'll be looking at comments with a fresheye from now on.

  18. I have always found your comments thoughtful, kind and encouraging ... perhaps you need to apply the same care to yourself? (says the master of self-beratement)


Thank you for visiting. I love to read your comments and really appreciate you taking the time to respond to posts.

I will always try to repay your visit whenever possible.