Thursday 1 October 2009


It is not my wish to offend anyone and I have sympathy with those who have mental health problems but the following made me smile . . .

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline . . .

  • If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  • If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
  • If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
  • If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we trace the call.
  • If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you what to do next.
  • If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one will answer.
  • If you are paranoid, the thing you are holding to your ear is armed and ready to blow.
  • If you are Oedipal, your mother would like to speak with you - please stay on the line.


  1. Hi-just popping in to say could you email me your address? Thanks! Thanks for your Lily comments-she is ok apart from the sore throat or whatever she has got! I think you are right about Pelham puppets-I had heard of them but never had one or thought much about them until I saw the one I got in Greenwich. Then I spent ages looking at websites and finally trawling through ebay!

  2. We found this so amusing, thanks for the laugh anice.

  3. I have to sign up to follow . . your blog is just GREAT!!!!

  4. We aim to please! (but often miss . . . ;-/) so thank you Sarah, Sylvia and Gloria!

  5. I do appologise Janice, in my previous post I had not noticed that I had made an error when typing your name! Best wishes x


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