There are a number of bird feeders in what passes for our garden (bear in mind it has recently been reduced to a barren desert because of the Endless Pool project). Periodically an order for bird food, mostly tubular fat cakes, is delivered to our house. Usually these fruit, seed or insect-packed suet cylinders are transferred immediately to a safe place – i.e: one that is out of reach of the dogs. For some perfectly valid but now forgotten reason this did not happen and the bird cakes were left in the porch. It wasn't hot so there was no danger of them melting or liquefying or whatever it is that fat does and there was a strong wooden fortification denying the dogs access.
Unfortunately, someone who shall remain nameless forgot to engage the barrier; Frodo the Faller and Jenna-the-Labrador, thinking Christmas had come early, lost themselves happily for a while sampling the cakes. Our attention was attracted simultaneously to the absence of these two dogs – remember, Frodo the Faller is our Velcro dog – and to unmistakeable sounds of determined rummaging and chomping. Luckily they had only eaten one complete one-litre tube (ONLY!!) We expected a disturbed night with upset stomachs but the miscreants slept soundly, their stomachs well-rounded, and I swear they both had contented smiles on their furry faces.