Winston’s late January blog 2010

Winston here . . . p'rrrrr, p'rrrrr . . .

First of all I must wish you all a Happy New Year though it's not so very new now. It was very busy in the house at Christmas with lots of people coming and going and SIX dogs again. Still, they all entertained each other so that was all right. There was some nice bits and pieces of food and me and Monty got to try some. YUM!

Gus is ever so big now and me and Monty have to look twice to see which black dog we're staring at. The Humans keep saying he's going to be bigger than Jenna. I hope he don't get as big as Frodo and Buddy 'coz two big dogs in the house is quite enough, don'tcha know. We did have three for a while but Dominie didn't get in the way like they do.

You know, I often wonder about Humans. I mean, I know they can't see or hear as well as us cats – and dogs, too, I s'pose. They can't smell things like we can and they can't taste the air and they certainly can't leap as high as us or do yoga without lots of
years of practice. When you think about it the only bits us cats can't wash are the backs of our heads, under our chins and between our shoulder blades. (That's why it's good to have a cat friend.) Anyway, even though they're really quite backward compared to us cats, you'd think they'd do the simple things right, right?

Well, the other day, just after breakfast (raw chicken wings, yummy!) Mrs Human got out the tablets for the dogs. She does it every morning, has done for years. Frodo has to have special medicine to stop him falling down – he's got ecstasy, don'tcha know, that's why the Humans call him Frodo the Faller – and all the dogs have vitta mints to stop their legs and backs wearing out. Anyhow, she puts all Frodo's pills in an egg-cup and when there aren't none left at bedtime she can go to bed and so can we all 'coz Frodo don't need no more for that day. So, she got them all out, counted them like what she does every day and set out the three piles. Then she got out the peanut butter 'coz that's where she hides the pills – stoopid dogs don't know that but us cats can't be tricked like that. She always gives F t F his dose first, always, then it's Buddy's turn, then Jenna's and last of all Gus gets to lick the spoon. At any rate, she doled out the first pills and then said, 'OH' 'coz who was looking at her but Buddy. Now she was really defused and couldn't work out what had happened. Mr H wasn't no help - he just laughed but Mrs H said, 'I daren't give Frodo another dose in case he's already had his.' I thought, 'WHAT?' Still, there was a lot of dogs milling around 'coz Tia and Foxy was visiting for the weekend and Foxy's really greedy and quick so she has to be careful. The Humans decided to 'WAIT AND SEE' – humans do a lot of that, don'tcha know. It was soon ovbious that Buddy had had F t F's medicine 'coz he couldn't control his legs. Monty and me giggled but I don't think the dogs realised. Did you know that when cats sneeze they're really laughing? We sneezed quite a lot that day. Buddy slept a lot! We felt a bit bad though when F t F had a fit later on but it was very short and he was all right. Mrs H was a bit very cross with herself 'coz Frodo had gone NINE WEEKS without one and she said he might have gone longer if she hadn't mixed up the pills.

The next day Mr H kindly reminded Mrs H which dog was which but she wasn't very at all amused by his helpfulness. I must say, though, it was a bit very odd 'coz Buddy and Frodo look quite different. I mean, they've both got spots (should use 'Clearasil' like the younger Humans) but Buddy's are brown – what? Oh, all right, they're liver – and his eyes are blue now 'coz of his uveitis and Frodo's are brown and his spots are black, plus he's got a huge spot over his eye like a pirate's patch (I've heard the Humans say that about the pirate's patch – don't know what they mean, really, but I 'spect they do) She said the dogs usually always wait their turn and they know the routine and for some reason Buddy decided to go first but me and Monty think she's losing it (whatever it is) I mean, she's really old. Even her children are old. Even her grandchildren are old. They're all older than me and Monty so they must be old.

I think that's it for now. I'll see you again in a little while – I'd say a month but I don't know what months are. The Humans aren't all that good at time either – they're always saying they don't know where the time goes. You'd think they'd look after it when they keep saying they mustn't waste it.

TTFN